After Chupa- until couple comes in-- TOO LONG!

curlyhead

Thu, Jun 22 2006, 11:09 pm

for my sister's wedding they did the family photos before the chupa and left a empty space for the chossan which the photoghapher will put in a pciture of the chossan using trick photography. After the Chupa all they did was the chossan and kallah pictures and maybe also the parents.

Friendly ↓

Wed, Jun 28 2006, 8:00 pm

I was in the yichud room for about 8 minutes... then stepped out to see my whole family (extended as well) in formation for a picture, with room for us in the middle. so it all went pretty quickly.

In Australia, however, they cleverly set up the system where the chuppah takes place in early afternoon, (ppl come in their work clothes), then the guests GO HOME WHILE THE FAMILY TAKES PICTURES, and come bck later for reception/dinner/ dancing (usually at a hotel- different location than chuppah). This way NOBODY IS KEPT WAITING, and chosson kallah have plenty time to take photos.

↑ Mama Bear

Wed, Jun 28 2006, 9:02 pm

in the states, most working people work til late, and who wants to dress up twice and go and come twice? when I go I want to stay for 3 hours and go home, not find babysitters twice esp in the afternoon when no one really has time to watch someone else's kids.

ChavieK

Sun, Jul 02 2006, 12:19 am

We are not from Ny but are making daughters wedding there. If we did the chupah my guestswould be wandering around brooklyn.We are looking into the digital photo thing.That would be the best solution as our c&k want to spend the most itme dancing.

Marion

Wed, Aug 02 2006, 5:57 pm

We did all the separate photos before the kabbalat panim (me with my side, him with his). We did the ones of the 2 of us after yichud (on our way in). And the rest we did at the end of the evening.

Our chuppah was a little before 7 (shkia was 7:39 that night). I think we came out around 9:15. I would have liked more time in yichud...we actually got interrupted mid-sentence by someone who thought he was doing us a favour.

I agree that it's nice to spend time with your guests...but that's not what the wedding is for! No one can spend meaningful time with 400 people. That's what kabbalat panim and the smaller sheva brachot meals are for. The only people I worried about speaking with were the ones I knew flew in specially, and who I knew I wouldn't see at sheva brachot, for whatever reason.

miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 11:27 am

shalhevet wrote:

At another chassuna the kalla's mother also disappeared for about an hour (photographs?). There are people who come to a chassuna just to wish mazel tov and go

I've heard of plenty cases taht eth mother had to go to mikva the night after the wedding and went straight after teh chuppa....

who knows??

when my dh's eldest sister got married, my youngest sil was a baby and mil was still nursing.. so inbetween she disappeared to nurse...

↑ shalhevet

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 11:48 am

miriamnechama wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

At another chassuna the kalla's mother also disappeared for about an hour (photographs?). There are people who come to a chassuna just to wish mazel tov and go

I've heard of plenty cases taht eth mother had to go to mikva the night after the wedding and went straight after teh chuppa....

who knows??

And why would plenty of people be giving you such information??? shock

How have you heard of plenty of cases? I haven't heard of even one, and wouldn't expect to either.

Anyway, in Israel chassunas finish early enough that the kalla's mother (if need be) could go to the mikva after the chassuna. I think it would be pretty obvious that was the case if someone disappeared from the hall for an hour after the chuppa. I'm sure she was busy with photographs, helping her dd with her sheitel etc.

manhattanmom

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 11:59 am

At my wedding, my entire extended family (who are NOT yekkie (sp?) but may as well be) were all at the hall early. We took all the big family pictures, left a space, and photoshopped my husband in. You would never guess by looking at the pictures.
After the chuppah we took pictures of just the two of us and our immediate families--and my husband's extended family which took a considerable amount of time shorter than my side of the family because he doesn't have a bunch of little kid cousins--they're all adults in his family.
I HATE when the chosson and kallah disappear for more than an hour. It is inconsiderate.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 12:03 pm

shalhevet wrote:

miriamnechama wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

At another chassuna the kalla's mother also disappeared for about an hour (photographs?). There are people who come to a chassuna just to wish mazel tov and go

I've heard of plenty cases taht eth mother had to go to mikva the night after the wedding and went straight after teh chuppa....

who knows??

And why would plenty of people be giving you such information??? shock

but when I was in a kalla teaching course... we were told of women who wen't on teh night of a child's wedding... but that was in context to chashivas of going to mikva on time.

oh and my mil did tell me taht she wentout to nurse her baby then.

I don't remember how long I was in for... alos quite some time... but that's 2what's done in israel.

gamekeeper

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 3:50 pm

Friendly wrote:

In Australia, however, they cleverly set up the system where the chuppah takes place in early afternoon, (ppl come in their work clothes), then the guests GO HOME WHILE THE FAMILY TAKES PICTURES, and come bck later for reception/dinner/ dancing (usually at a hotel- different location than chuppah). This way NOBODY IS KEPT WAITING, and chosson kallah have plenty time to take photos.

this is the way we do it in South africa as well... it takes a lot of the preasure off!

Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:08 pm

YOu know.... B"H I am a kallah again..

I have to say, not having a reception after the chuppah is sound REALLY great considering all of these comments..

If you guys want a party so badly, I am sorry.. Yes it's a cost to have a wedding, yes they are guests.. Yes they will have the rest of their lives to hug and be there for each other..

But as a kallah, will I be rushing to let my chasson go after the chuppah??? I think that is going to be the hardest moment of the ENTIRE night.. Our first moments as husband and wife, first moments hugging...and fingers touching... It's a moment I a have dreamed of for years, and B"H I found my beshert..

Maybe you women have been outside of what it means to be a newly wed to long. But really think back to that first moment alone with your husband. Sure there are guests out there, but are you really thinking about them? Or the man infront of you, that you love with all of your heart. While you may not mean too, I am fairly certain those moments go too quickly. Time just passes by w/out even realizing.

Maybe because I am going through the process again I treasure it more, esp because I am certain this is my beshert.

Maybe as guests we should be saying.. it's so sweet, and so cute... And remembering what our moments were like, before becoming ANNOYED at the wait.. just my 2 cents... do with it what you want

Tefila

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:09 pm

Quote:

England is /was this way too Smile

Maya ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:12 pm

Mitzvahmom, you have a point. But as far as I know, especially in my circles, the wait is because of the pictures being taken.

It takes a while until you get every sister, sister-in-law, brother, nieces, nephews, grandparents and whoever else to be in the same room at the same time. Very often, the couple does not even sit down to eat the meal together because they are so busy with the pictures. It often takes over 2 hours! And the crowd is waiting downstairs.

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:13 pm

Maya wrote:

It takes a while until you get every sister, sister-in-law, brother, nieces, nephews, grandparents and whoever else to be in the same room at the same time. Very often, the couple does not even sit down to eat the meal together because they are so busy with the pictures. It often takes over 2 hours! And the crowd is waiting downstairs.

Also the couple has been fasting all day!!!

↑ Maya

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 4:15 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

Maya wrote:

Also the couple has been fasting all day!!!

Yes, it's ridiculous.