Do you really think Hashem wants us to wear lacetops?

amother

Natural ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 3:12 am

Brit in Israel wrote:

The Halacha is that hair of a married or once married women is Erva -considered nakedness.
That's the Halacha.

Yes but covering with more hair just sounds and feels so silly and never made sense to me. I wish it did, but it doesn't. It's such a weird concept!

Sorry for the weird example but covering hair with hair is basically like getting dressed wearing this tee shirt:
https://I.ebayimg.com/images/g.....0.jpg
(Don't click if you don't want to see anything not tznius)
You're covered but you look like you're not.

Like oh I'm covering my hair but I'm covering with something that looks the same. Make it make sense.

You're mistakenly assuming a married woman covers her hair because hair on her head is Erva. This is not true. HER HAIR is erva. That's all. Not the wig.

When human hair wigs were introduced, there was a big sheilah then also, mainly about mar'as ayin (I.e. it looks like real hair so how can it be okay?). However, most mainstream poskim say there's no issue with that today since we all know a wig when we see one. Lace tops may pose a similar problem, but again, no issue in our communities.

For me, the bigger issue is the super-attractiveness of the look (to put it mildly). No, I don't think that's okay, and I think most of us know it. NOT all lace top wigs are like this, but YES I do think it's easier to cross that line in a lace top wig than a non-lace top wig.

amother

↑ Daphne ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 8:32 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

For you L'fi Tzaarah Agrah. Yes, some or even many of the mitzvas are "chok", where we dont understand them.
Its not an easy mitzvah.

I'm reading that it's not supposed to be a chok. Which is why these threads are do sad.

amother

↑ Daphne ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 8:36 am

Ruchi wrote:

Trust me, you wouldn't want to be seen wearing those beautiful wiggly looking sheitels , from over 30 years ago.

These arguments are silly, because those wigs were made to look just like hair of those times. I got married over 30 years ago, and no question my shaitel was much nicer than my hair.

And look at the styles of the 60's and 70's. The hairstyles look so fake... but that was what real hair looked like 50 to 60 years ago.

My mother ah got married over 50 years ago and had a really beautiful custom human hair wig. They were definitely available then.

amother

↑ Natural

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 1:15 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

They still don't come close to the long, lustrous, lace-top wigs available today.

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 2:04 pm

amother Natural wrote:

No, I understand that it's only HER hair that's erva, hence the whole tee shirt example. It's just funny that we're covering our own hair, which is erva, with something that LOOKS like erva...it's a weird concept altogether.

amother

Ghostwhite

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 2:16 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

It may SEEM weird to you, but if it's halachically okay (which my Rav most definitely holds that it's not a question and is most definitely halachically okay) then why does it matter how YOU FEEL.
This is Torah not a feelings question...
Don't add on to the Torah just for your feelings...

amother

DarkKhaki ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 10:43 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you really think Hashem wants us to cover our hair with lace top wigs that are many times more attractive to men then our own hair and many times not obvious at all that it’s a wig?

In terms of common sense? 1+1? No. He is not.

In terms of our desire to cover our guilty feelings about it or as many are trying to become ok with every questionable thing? Oh, Yeaaaaaa!! So proud of us! He loves us to peace no maaaatter what we do... (Ever heard that talking point?)

amother

↑ Daphne ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 10:57 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

And single girls with beautiful long hair? Is that funny as well?

amother

↑ Daphne ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 10:59 pm

amother Natural wrote:

They still don't come close to the long, lustrous, lace-top wigs available today.

So you are saying that men are more attracted to today's hair than the hair of 50 years ago? Maybe men are more attracted to women today than they were 50 years ago? You realize that the comparison is absurd. Men are attracted to women, period. They were just as attracted to women 50 years ago - even with their weird hairstyles - as men are attracted to women today.

amother

↑ DarkKhaki ↓

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 11:02 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

Assumption?

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 11:10 pm

pause wrote:

On Imamother, wigs is a sensitive topic. Amothers are very possessive over their wigs and anyone asking a question or insinuating that maybe there is room for improvement gets pelted. Notice OP hasn't been back since her very first post.

Or cuz she only posted to stir up controversy

amother

Nasturtium

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 12:06 am

Honestly I think wigs are ridiculous. And I say this as someone with a gorgeous lace top. Cover your hair with hair? Makes zero zero sense. If it was acceptable I would wear only a scarf. Wearing a wig feels so disingenuous. I don’t think Hashem really cares if we’re doing it with the right intention though. I think He is upset that people feel the need to mind everyone else’s business. It’s between me- my personal relationship to Hashem and my Rav. No one else.

amother

↑ Daphne

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 10:27 am

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

I asked, and he said it's much worse today.

Is there any other place you know that as a fact besides DG?

Your DP is more attracted to the young women of today than the young women around when he was young? You know, I'm not sure that I like your DP very much!!!

It's a fact that men were always attracted to women. When they wore the hairstyles of the 1950's etc, as men did not know there will be better hairstyles in 2024, they liked the women just fine!!!

I don't know where I heard this quote but it seems to be true here- " every generation thinks that they were the one who discovered s-x". Lol.

amother

↑ DarkKhaki

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 10:38 am

amother Daphne wrote:

He didn't say they weren't attracted to women back then. He just said it's much worse today.

I still don't know where your 'facts' were born. Right now, it's your grandpa vs min.

amother

↑ Cornsilk

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 12:51 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Well said. Also saying it as a wig wearer. Totally not from a place of judgement. Just from a place of practicality and comfort. I WISH we all decide at the same time to only go out with comfy pretieds. Including weddings. They can have diamonds in them for weddings. And no, I won't be the only one in my community doing it so don't suggest I can do what I please. It's just my secret wish that we all do it together.