I like my new professor!

Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 8:41 pm

So this is my first semester taking an actual Nursing School course, it's a course you can take w/out being enrolled.. I am still on the wait list Mad

. But this course is only 8 weeks long, B"H first day in class I saw 3 other women that were frum, of course we all started talking oh where do u live etc..

So I did some calculations and lo and behold our final exam (as the course is only 8 weeks long) is on the FIRST DAY OF PESACH!! So I called the professor and said that I know of atleast 3 other students that would also need to take the test at a different time if possible.

The next class day I spoke with the other women (2 now as one dropped), and both were excited that I had already spoken to the professor as they were afraid she would tell them to drop the class. They found her intimidating.. So she arrived at class and the door to her classroom was locked, so she had to run upstairs to get the key. So I said to the professor can I follow you and talk to you for a min please. She said sure sure let's go.

So I followed her upstairs and said, "professor did you get my phone message?"
She said, "yes, about passover."
I responded, "Yes and I spoke with the other two women, so there are three of us that need an alternate date of the final exam."
she replied, "where are the other two women."
I responded, "they find you intimidating and asked me to speak for them. All of us have to get our seders for our family ready so the timing is invaluable and we wanted to schedule it as early as possible."
she responded, "you can only speak for yourself and you do not look old enough to have that many responsibilities."
I responded, "I am not that young and I have three children."
she responded, "you will make a good nurse because you plan things and stand up for yourself, they will be mice do you see the difference? Send me an email with your request and if you want tell them to do the same."

I really like my professor... But for some reason everyone thinks that I am younger than I am!! so weird.

LeahW ↓

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 9:32 pm

I don't understand your story at all. . No offense, but I think you should have stuck up for your friends when she called them "mice"...

I highly doubt they wouldn't have approached her about their exam... What? You think they were going to take the exam on Pesach? Or just skip out on the exam? Of course they would have approached her and "stood up for themselves"... It just happens to be that you called her first on their behalf.
edited by mod2 pm me if you wish

↑ LeahW ↓

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 9:46 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

um... wow... I thought it was an interesting story...

I didn't say the story wasn't interesting. I responded, didn't I?

Quote:

They are not my friends, they happen to be in my course. Both stated they were afraid to approach the professor..

All yidden are friends. They were so afraid to approach her that they wouldn't have done so if you weren't there? They confided in you that they were intimidated. That's legitimate. I've been intimidated by my professors before. It doesn't mean I wanted them to know that and it doesn't mean I avoided exams or took them on Yom Tov because of it. They never asked you to speak on their behalf. I feel really bad for these women.
edited by mod2

↑ LeahW ↓

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 9:56 pm

Quote:

B. they did ask me to speak on their behalf.

If this is the case, I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted you to speak to her knowing you would tell her they are intimidated by her (a woman they will have to face in class). I'm sorry, but if someone called someone else a mouse because I agreed to represent them, I would say something to defend them.

Quote:

and you just reminded me why I stopped posting..

Likewise.
edited by mod2 pm me if you wish

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 10:02 pm

Leah can you please stop posting negative things..

It's really not nice... YOu do not know me or how far I have come.. I used to be a mouse, but I learned the HARD way. B"H I am strong now, and I do not beg forgiveness..

I have a voice and I use it, maybe I did not say they felt intimidated by her... I do not remember the exact words I used..

They asked me to go on their behalf and she was not impressed by it either way.

I am just proud of myself for actually standing up and using my voice. So back off please.

↑ LeahW

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 10:13 pm

I do know a little bit about how you've grown, as you've talked about it on this site and I really respect and admire you for that. Perhaps I misunderstood something in the story. But imagine if you were at a point in your life where you were still "mousey"... would you not have been mortified to know that your teacher was calling you a mouse behind your back when you didn't deserve it. I don't think you're a bad person, but I don't think you did them any favor. Since you have come so far, even moreso you should be able to empathize with how the other women would feel.

I guess I shouldn't have even replied to this story. I'm sorry if I offended you.

Akeres Habayis

Sun, Mar 01 2009, 10:47 pm

I'm not a nurse,nor was I there,or in college.
BUT
I got the impression the teacher was giving a short unofficial lesson.
to be a nurse and to make it,and of course not have people walk all over u on the job(I'm assuming doctors,and admin and nurses who are more seasoned)is to speak up for what u want,and not depend on others.
when she called them mice(it may not have been the "correct term),this is what she probably was thinking of.
Mitzvahmom was presenting her case,I can't take the test on that date,and just to make sure,I'm not singled out,and not just thinking of myself,there are other ladies who also need this date off.I think the ladies would have been upset if mitzvahmom HAD NOT mentioned they needed it to.

the fact it backfired,isn't mitzvahmom's fault,the ladies should have spoke up IMMEDIATELY bc it conflicted w/pesach,but instead they didnt stand up for themselves,and would have missed the test,no makeup,just bc they didnt speak up!

so mitzvahmom,I think u deserve to like your new professor,she taught u a valuable lesson,dont be afraid to ask for what u want,bc u will need that assertiveness when u become a nurse.

Stepmum

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 4:35 am

MitzvahMom, kudos to you for putting yourself out there. I used to be a 'mouse', I like to think I'm not anymore, but I still struggle when I'm in a difficult situation. I push myself, but I find it very hard. I know what it's like to have to work up the courage to do something that others find so easy.

I don't think you need to feel bad that she called the others mice. I didn't find this comment as derogatory as other posters have, and I don't think you have to stick up for them.

I agree with AH, I think the point the professor made was a good one, and she was using the term 'mice' to illustrate her point, not to put down the other women.

I liked your story, and am glad you like your professor!

Mirabelle

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 6:21 am

Mitzvahmom,
I used to teach several college courses.
I have to say, I was always very impressed when students approched me ahead of time about scheduling conflicts/issues. I always thought that it showed maturity and responsibility.
If possible I almost always granted their requests.

However, for students who did not approach me about changes until after (unless there was like a death in the family or a big illness) I was not so nice....

tziganka

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 7:52 am

Mitzvahmom- I don’t know what to tell you about that situation because I wasn’t there and I’m not the type of person to ever ask someone to speak on my behalf so I have no idea what those women were thinking. I wish you much success in nursing school. From experience I can tell you that you absolutely CAN NOT be mousy to make it through. In my program 50% of the people got dropped after the first semester. You have to build relationships with professors and for that you need to be forward. Good for you for resolving scheduling conflicts in advance, make sure to remain on top of all this stuff as you’re going through the program.

In my program all the other people come to me if they feel that the professor isn’t being fair and they want me to say something. I guess I have a reputation of not being mousy. Make sure to not be that girl either, pick your battles. If you ever have any questions while you’re going through the program please feel free to PM me.

Congratulations on starting your first class! I’m sure you’ll make a great nurse. Thumbs Up

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 10:01 am

tziganka wrote:

Mitzvahmom- From experience I can tell you that you absolutely CAN NOT be mousy to make it through. In my program 50% of the people got dropped after the first semester. You have to build relationships with professors and for that you need to be forward.

\

Thanks Tziganka.. One thing I learned as a single mom, if u do not stand up for yourself people just walk all over you. Even in my new marriage, because I have grown and am open and communicative I believe we have a stronger bond.

The professor pointed out that this is the problem in the Nursing shortage. People go in thinking, "this is a stable job that gives me benefits and ability to grow." But a lot goes into nursing, we are the ones that are one and one constantly with patients, we are the ones interpreting orders. If we make a mistake, then it's our fault not the doctor for having messy handwriting. If we cannot read his orders, then it's our duty to stand there and say "what does this say." He may call us an idiot, but at the end of the day it's our necks out there and the patient's safety. She told us that on the first day she cried, and that she has seen students on their first week get yelled at by a doctor and leave the program. She said, "become a nurse but if you cannot show backbone, then mistakes will be made and you could be fired."

I guess I find it frustrating that they accept 100 students a semester, and of that 100 around 20 - 30% drop, what about those of us waiting that want to be nurses. So maybe when they are going through the names they will remember that I am not afraid to raise my hand and I am not afraid to ask for help.