Worried about babysitter

wonder ↓

Mon, Jan 16 2006, 3:12 am

I just interviewed a babysitter for my 14 month old boy, shes russian, and says she was a doctor there. She has one eye that looks at you, and the other that looks in the other direction. Does anyone know if this could have an affect on my son, will he learn not to look ppl straight in the face/eyes? Im taking her on a trial, but im uncomfotable with the situation and its worrying me. Any advice?

Mandy

Mon, Jan 16 2006, 6:21 am

She has a wandering eye, you mean ? How could this affect your child negatively ? Maybe your son will just learn to appreciate people without regard for their physical problems, that would only be a plus, I think. No, he will not become autistic or have trouble looking at people in the eyes or anything like that.

happymom

Mon, Jan 16 2006, 6:48 am

Quote:

Im taking her on a trial, but im uncomfotable with the situation and its worrying me. Any advice?

people have intuition for a reason. Its always good to listen to our gut feeling. If you dont feel good about this woman for whatever reason, I dont think its a good idea to leave your baby with him. find someone who gives off good vibes and makes you feel less worried about leaving your little baby with.

RedVines ↓

Mon, Jan 16 2006, 7:40 am

I agree happymom 100%

I always listen to my gut. I once interviewed this woman who was just plain scary looking she stayed for the day helping me around the house etc. but I just couldnt leave my son with her so I took him to work with me, and told her nicely her that I would not be in need of her services....

1, I wouldnt want to be with this lady; she was kind of scary and strange looking
2, I wouldnt be comfortable the whole time I was away
3, I ended up finding someone who was wonderful...
everything always works out for the best!

Good Luck! Trust your instinct

ElTam

Mon, Jan 16 2006, 11:12 am

I agree with Mandy. If she did or said something that made you uncomfortable, that's one thing. But if it's because of the way she looks, that's not reasonable.

People have wandering eyes for all sorts of reasons. None of them to do with personality traits. Your child will get plenty of role modeling for eye to eye contact.

1stimer

Tue, Jan 17 2006, 8:38 am

You're joking, aren't you? This isn't about intuition it's about prejudice, plain and simple, prejudice against people that look different.

Wandering eye, or a squint is not contagious, you know.

↑ RedVines ↓

Tue, Jan 17 2006, 10:27 am

I disagree, if I dont like the look of someone who will be alone with my baby for any amount of time, it is under my discresion! prejedice or not... I dont care if I am hurting anybodys feelings...

chen

Wed, Jan 18 2006, 6:38 am

You need to analyze your feelings and figure out whether your unease stems from revulsion at the woman's disfigurement (in which case your attitude is, shall we say, less than commendable, to say nothing of illegal), or whether you are getting bad vibes from something else.

Yes, it is disconcerting to look at a person with strabismus (medical term for wandering eye) because you cannot tell which eye is focused on you. Nevertheless, strabismus is not a sign of the devil or of questionable character, but a surgically treatable medical condition that often runs in families. Would you reject a babysitter who had acne? scoliosis? bald spots? How would YOU like to be turned down for a job because someone objected to your looks?

OTOH, if your discomfort stems from the way this woman interacts (or doesn't interact) with your baby, then of course you must listen to your intuition.

↑ wonder ↓

Thu, Jan 19 2006, 3:00 pm

Just to keep you updated, the babysitter took three hours to clean my kitchen - which shouldnt have taken her more then 45 min, and another 2 hours to iron 6 shirts...... so apart with having been unsure of whether she would have a good affect on my baby, she was just too slow, so that solved this "moral" dilema.
Though I do agree with mummyofthree and happymom, you deff have to be 100 percent comfortable with the person you are leaving your child with.

Tefila ↓

Thu, Jan 19 2006, 4:54 pm

I totaly agree with 1st timer eitam and Mandy. Sometimes our gut feeling could also be wrong Mad

My husband wasn't sure conc a male secretary we have since he has one eye missing literally. But we decided to give him a chance. And after a week he suprised us and is doing really well 1yr later and still with us.

↑ wonder

Sun, Jan 22 2006, 3:52 am

If I was hiring her just as a cleaning lady (or secretary), then yes you are right, It would be prejudice not to take her. But seeing as I am intending to leave my son with this woman for 4 to 5 hours a day, I have to be entirely comfortable with everything about her, or how my son would react to her.

↑ Tefila

Sun, Jan 22 2006, 5:40 am

Quote:

I have to be entirely comfortable with everything about her, or how my son would react to her.

Your'e son would be comfortable with her wether her eye is wondering or not. To him it would make no difference just the fasct Hashem made people different ......Lets be honest here Wink

↑ RedVines

Sun, Jan 22 2006, 8:33 am

I will ALWAYS LISTEN TO MY GUT! Tefilah, if there is even a slight doubt, worry or concern why take on some one to watch after your child???
Why make wonder feel guilty like she is a racist or prejudice....she doesnt feel comfortable and mommys intuition always prevails!
She should hire her no matter what!!!!!!!??????That is crazy!
Call it prejudice or what you want...my gut always wins, and when it come to MY child I will not worry about hurting someones feelings...this isnt someone coming to JUST clean or to JUST answer phones...you must feel 100% comfortable...or so long!!!!!

Ruby

Mon, Jan 23 2006, 8:19 pm

Don't you find it interesting that every Russian in the world was a doctor in Russia? Every babysitter that I interview was some type of doctor in Russia.... it makes you wonder...

BrachaVHatzlocha

Tue, Jan 24 2006, 10:51 am

Ruby wrote:

Don't you find it interesting that every Russian in the world was a doctor in Russia? Every babysitter that I interview was some type of doctor in Russia.... it makes you wonder...

that's interesting!!
but the truth is, I think many russian jews are smart!!
(and I'm NOT prejudice!!!)

sheshycoco

Thu, Apr 06 2006, 1:06 pm

I heard it is very common to be a nurse over there, although is not respected like over here, it is close to being a cleaning lady they say.