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No shabbos??

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miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:25 am

I was talking to an aquaintance who is making bar mitzva this week.. I asked her about the shabbos and she said no we're not do a shabbos.. he's having his aliya on thursday with a seuda and that's it.

did anyone else here this?? it's a first I heard...

Raisin ↓

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:53 am

shocking! people not spending more money then they need to on a bar mitzva!

My brothers had a)a seuda at home or a small hall on the day of their bday for immediate family and classmates.
b) a reception on another evening for the community.

I think they had an aliya and leined or whatever on shabbos, but that was it.

some people like to do a shabbos bar mitzva because it is easier for relatives from far to come then then on a weeknight.

↑ miriamnechama ↓

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:57 am

I don't know to me it sounded like a minhag of their's as the boys wasn't leining or doing haftorah.. who knows...

chocolate moose ↓

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:04 am

Lubavitchers don't do that b'sheetah. We also had no "Shabbos".

↑ miriamnechama

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:13 am

actually they are bian

↑ Raisin

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:21 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Lubavitchers don't do that b'sheetah. We also had no "Shabbos".

im pretty sure my brothers lained something. haftorah maybe. I think one was at mincha on shabbos. but you can be bar mitzva without leining.

↑ chocolate moose

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:26 am

A Bar Mitzvah is turning 13. You can do so without an aliyah or seudah. You don't really see that, but technically ....

grin

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:29 am

we had the aliya letorah on shabbos because behashgach pratis, by all 3, the first Torah reading after their b-day were on shabbos, but this wasn't b'davka. the sueda celebration wasn't on shabbos for any of them, since we do it on the b-day itself. we added something to the regular shabbos hisva'adus, as I recall.

RachelEve14

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:51 am

My dh lained and then was sent to school Very Happy

I think he also lained on Shabbot.

manhattanmom

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 10:22 am

One of my first cousins had his Bar Mitzvah on a Monday morning. He wasn't going to be laining the whole parsha anyway--so he just learned the first 2 aliyos. It was on his Bo Bayom which was during the 9 days.
He lained (and my wheelchair-bound grandfather was able to be there) and then they had a huge catered breakfast with hot food. It was really nice!

I believe my husband had a similar thing--his Bar Mitzvah--the Bo Bayom fell out on a Monday--President's Day when everyone was home and all his relatives were able to come in from out-of-town. He lained and then they had a big breakfast. He had another affair some other time but they didn't do a shabbos laining and kiddush.

I don't think having a Shabbos affair is necessary. It's generally become the accepted thing to do but it doesn't have to be that way.

greenfire

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 12:15 pm

I think more people should simply celebrate how they see fit and not how the community sees fit ... it shouldn't have to be a competition ...

SingALong

Sun, Dec 14 2008, 12:23 pm

both my bros had a small affair for the bo bayom, with only close family, less than 100 ppl, in a kiddush hall.

then on shabbos, my bros lained in shul and my parents did a big kiddush, invited all friends, but then only close family stayed by meal after kiddush.

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