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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
miriamnechama
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:25 am
I was talking to an aquaintance who is making bar mitzva this week.. I asked her about the shabbos and she said no we're not do a shabbos.. he's having his aliya on thursday with a seuda and that's it.
did anyone else here this?? it's a first I heard...
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Raisin
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:53 am
shocking! people not spending more money then they need to on a bar mitzva!
My brothers had a)a seuda at home or a small hall on the day of their bday for immediate family and classmates.
b) a reception on another evening for the community.
I think they had an aliya and leined or whatever on shabbos, but that was it.
some people like to do a shabbos bar mitzva because it is easier for relatives from far to come then then on a weeknight.
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miriamnechama
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 8:57 am
I don't know to me it sounded like a minhag of their's as the boys wasn't leining or doing haftorah.. who knows...
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chocolate moose
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:04 am
Lubavitchers don't do that b'sheetah. We also had no "Shabbos".
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Raisin
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:21 am
chocolate moose wrote: | Lubavitchers don't do that b'sheetah. We also had no "Shabbos". |
im pretty sure my brothers lained something. haftorah maybe. I think one was at mincha on shabbos. but you can be bar mitzva without leining.
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chocolate moose
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:26 am
A Bar Mitzvah is turning 13. You can do so without an aliyah or seudah. You don't really see that, but technically ....
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grin
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:29 am
we had the aliya letorah on shabbos because behashgach pratis, by all 3, the first Torah reading after their b-day were on shabbos, but this wasn't b'davka. the sueda celebration wasn't on shabbos for any of them, since we do it on the b-day itself. we added something to the regular shabbos hisva'adus, as I recall.
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RachelEve14
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 9:51 am
My dh lained and then was sent to school
I think he also lained on Shabbot.
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manhattanmom
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 10:22 am
One of my first cousins had his Bar Mitzvah on a Monday morning. He wasn't going to be laining the whole parsha anyway--so he just learned the first 2 aliyos. It was on his Bo Bayom which was during the 9 days.
He lained (and my wheelchair-bound grandfather was able to be there) and then they had a huge catered breakfast with hot food. It was really nice!
I believe my husband had a similar thing--his Bar Mitzvah--the Bo Bayom fell out on a Monday--President's Day when everyone was home and all his relatives were able to come in from out-of-town. He lained and then they had a big breakfast. He had another affair some other time but they didn't do a shabbos laining and kiddush.
I don't think having a Shabbos affair is necessary. It's generally become the accepted thing to do but it doesn't have to be that way.
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greenfire
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 12:15 pm
I think more people should simply celebrate how they see fit and not how the community sees fit ... it shouldn't have to be a competition ...
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SingALong
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Sun, Dec 14 2008, 12:23 pm
both my bros had a small affair for the bo bayom, with only close family, less than 100 ppl, in a kiddush hall.
then on shabbos, my bros lained in shul and my parents did a big kiddush, invited all friends, but then only close family stayed by meal after kiddush.
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