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-> Children's Health
micki
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 10:12 am
my daughter is driving me crazy. She has major issues with clothing and especially socks/tights.
She can ONLY wear smooth snug tights and socks. if they have a slight bumpiness then she refuses to wear them.
if they are too big, then she won't wear them. if they are too small then she won't wear them.
if she has them on, after me arguing with her to put them on, then she will rip them off. on off on off- it drives me crazy.
or she has a turtleneck with a bit of metallic thread running thru it, she put on the shirt all happy casue it looks nice, and then ripped it off as soon as she felt the slight itch from the metallic thread.
Is this a real thing? or is she doing this to drive me crazy? I have no expereince with this, to me if something bothers me then I just deal with it. she won't.
any advice? is this a real issue?
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Lilkingdom
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 10:20 am
Although it may not appear as a major issue now, these things do tend to get worse as the kid grows older. I suggest you get her a sensory or OT therapist. The government pays for it and they come to your house (the the place I live in, they come down to you).
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greenfire
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 10:37 am
she's doing it to drive you crazy !!! let's be for real here no child knows what that means ...
there is no point in fighting her ... this is an issue ... find her sock, tights & turtlenecks, etc that will not have these problems for her ... there are smooth socks w/o seems ... I had the same issue with my dd who also didn't like to get sticky ...
another dd refused to wear even an undershirt with a little tiny bow at the neckline ... I cut them off ... today she still dislikes any frills or bows ... go figure ...
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GAMZu
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 10:42 am
Ohhh, yes it's real. I had it... and still do, but not as badly. Tights that bunched a tiny bit made me want to rip them off, and if I couldn't remove the clothes that bothered me, I would cry. (Not out of frustration, but out if real pain.)
I still have to have my undershirts the perfect combo of stretchy/long enough to tuck in, snug, etc, or else I can't wear them.
Do your dd a huge chesed and get her a whole stock of the tights she's fine with.
Also, get rid of scratchy labels.
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Barbara
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 10:47 am
LilPrincess wrote: | Although it may not appear as a major issue now, these things do tend to get worse as the kid grows older. I suggest you get her a sensory or OT therapist. The government pays for it and they come to your house (the the place I live in, they come down to you). |
*Sometimes* it gets worse. For DS, thank goodness, he grew out of it, more or less. He needed very stretchy socks with the seams *just so* We discovered that Old Navy socks worked best for him, and always bought shoes with velcro (so they could be opened wide and wouldn't disturb the socks that we so painstakingly got into place). These days, a lot of companies make tagless underthings, which should also help.
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amother
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 11:55 am
I have always been very sensitive to stuff like that as a child and now. It was not extreme enough for therapy -- I just needed comfy clothes! No tags (a lot of my shirts still have tears from ripping them out improperly when I'm in a rush), no turtlenecks. I wear leggings under my skirt, socks, and boots in winter because I can't stand tights. Soft and stretchy clothes, only comfy shoes. Etc.
Just let her wear soft, comfy cotton clothes and remove the tags. She will be so much happier, and I don't think it spoils her to keep her from feeling irritated.
If it doesn't go beyond easily fixable stuff like that its not any major disorder and she doesn't need therapy because her shirt itches! Thats for kids with such extreme sensory overload that they cant stand noises, lights, smells etc and so have trouble living a normal life.
Minor over-sensitivity like you described is real but easily adapted to if you can be understaanding. It is also for some reason known to be especially common in intellectually and artistically gifted children.
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micki
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 11:57 am
so it is a real thing.
someone mentioned lables, those also drive her crazy.
so I shouldn't make her wear it? I should get her stuff that she likes and put away the other stuff?
anyone had experiece with a therapist?
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shayna82
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 11:59 am
my second son is the most layed back kid ever, but if the line by his toes on the sock are not straight across his toes, he says "something is bothering me" and wont wear his shoe unless its fixed. sensory issues are a real thing.
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mandksima
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 12:12 pm
amother wrote: | I have always been very sensitive to stuff like that as a child and now. It was not extreme enough for therapy -- I just needed comfy clothes! No tags (a lot of my shirts still have tears from ripping them out improperly when I'm in a rush), no turtlenecks. I wear leggings under my skirt, socks, and boots in winter because I can't stand tights. Soft and stretchy clothes, only comfy shoes. Etc.
Just let her wear soft, comfy cotton clothes and remove the tags. She will be so much happier, and I don't think it spoils her to keep her from feeling irritated.
If it doesn't go beyond easily fixable stuff like that its not any major disorder and she doesn't need therapy because her shirt itches! Thats for kids with such extreme sensory overload that they cant stand noises, lights, smells etc and so have trouble living a normal life.
Minor over-sensitivity like you described is real but easily adapted to if you can be understaanding. It is also for some reason known to be especially common in intellectually and artistically gifted children. |
This is just like my DD who is 7 and is so much better than she used to be. When she was 4 or so, she started going CRAZY with almost every piece of clothing but underwear that didn't fit just right or socks with the seams were the worst. It got to the point that she would wear pants under her skirts instead of underwear and I bought so many socks and really all of them bothered her. Morning getting ready for school was soooooooo difficult. She definitely has a mild form of a sensory processing disorder. Things are better now partly because she has gotten older and she can figure out ways to cope other than screaming and kicking, although she has been known to really react when the socks are still bothering her.
I found one brand of knee socks that are good for her and I bought some in quite a few colors quickly no matter the cost because I can't stand the morning kvetching. It was hard to find her shoes but B"H she is ok with her current pair. There have been times that she has worn black boots through the summer.
If I even brought a turtleneck into her room, she would scream. I've learned my lesson.
OP- I wouldn't discount her sensitivities. They are as real to her as thorns inbedded in your clothes would be to you. It can cause a lack of concentration in school and off behavior.
My DD's occupational therapist gave us some advice but the book that gave the most information was called The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A.
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gryp
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 12:26 pm
My oldest has been doing these things too. Not with socks but with "button-shirts," labels, and more. I kind of got him out of it by preparing him that he's going to have to wear these things someday and he can choose which day next week that he's going to wear X.
Last year I told him that in Pre1A he's going to wear button-shirts every single day, and he does now. He has no problem putting it on in the morning but rips it off the second he gets home.
He was having a hard time because I told him that I'm not buying him a winter wardrobe since he's in school 6 days a week full-time, and on the occasional day he stays home he has to put on a button-shirt too. But I prepared him for what was going to be and he's fine with it now.
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micki
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 12:40 pm
thank you- I will get the book if at least for me to understand what she is going thru.
and we will sit down and go thru what she can and can't wear.
im learning new things every day...
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mandksima
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 12:43 pm
GR wrote: | My oldest has been doing these things too. Not with socks but with "button-shirts," labels, and more. I kind of got him out of it by preparing him that he's going to have to wear these things someday and he can choose which day next week that he's going to wear X.
Last year I told him that in Pre1A he's going to wear button-shirts every single day, and he does now. He has no problem putting it on in the morning but rips it off the second he gets home.
He was having a hard time because I told him that I'm not buying him a winter wardrobe since he's in school 6 days a week full-time, and on the occasional day he stays home he has to put on a button-shirt too. But I prepared him for what was going to be and he's fine with it now. |
I did a lot of preparing too. I also used a kitchen timer and told her she has 5 minutes and even though her socks are bothering her now, in one minute, they'll feel a tiny bit better, in 2 min even better, etc until 5 min are up, then she'll forget all about them. Usually that worked. Or I'll ask her after her day if her socks bothered her all day and she'll say "of course not" so in the morning I'd remind her of that. That part is in her head but the sensitivity is real. It is the anxiety about the sensitivity that I need these tricks for.
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avigailmiriam
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 12:48 pm
When I developed fibromyalgia, I also developed hyper sensitive skin. It is very, hellishly real. At it's worst, I remember one day having to leave class to run into the women's bathroom and rip my clothes off because they hurt my skin.
It's not as bad any more, but it is very real and very unpleasant. Here's what's helped me.
I can not and do not wear tights. I wear cotton leggings with kneesocks over them.
I have no tags in anything.
All my skirts are made to fit me, without elastic waistbands, which I find awful.
When I shop for clothes, I look first for texture, then looks.
I bought a whole bunch of very thin sheer long sleeve t-shirts and I use them as a barrier between my body and other clothes.
There are still garments I can not wear. I can't wear a turtleneck or button down shirt. The area around my throat is still crazy sensitive, so I wear shirts that are a little lower and don't cover my collarbones. Higher necklines literally make me feel like I'm being strangled.
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mandksima
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 1:56 pm
Oh yeah, and about the tights, fuhgetaboutit! They'll never fit exactly right and good thing the school doesn't have a policy that she has to wear them. They actually want the girls to wear leggings or pants under their skirts for when they're playing on the climbing structure.
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bbmom
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 2:05 pm
I have a brother who was like this when he was younger. My mother let him wear his socks inside out (no line bothering him that way), his undershirt inside out (no bothersome tag that way), polo shirts instead of scratchy oxford uniform shirts etc. She didn't see a reason to fight it and force him to be umcomfortable. He had poor muscle tone as well as sensory issues and went to OT for a bunch of years.
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gryp
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Wed, Nov 12 2008, 2:54 pm
Quote: | It is the anxiety about the sensitivity that I need these tricks for. |
That's interesting that you mentioned that, mandksima. I never realized the anxiety part and it makes perfect sense for my son who is generally anxious.
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micki
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Thu, Nov 13 2008, 9:04 am
so yesterday I bought tights from sears jcpenny target and walmart. one pair from each place.
she tried them all and NONE are good!!!!!
this morning she went thru 11 pairs of tights till she found oone that was sorta ok.
ARGH!!!
so off to boscovs, and childrens place I'll go today.
she was late to school- there is not enough time to do that in the mornings!
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Chocoholic
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Thu, Nov 13 2008, 9:23 am
I was kind of like that too, please keep in mind when you let her "try" several socks/tights and there are 2 she doesn't like, she might get in a bad mood and no matter what you put her, nothing will be fine. Let her go out with one pair of tights/socks everyday (one of the 11), be very calm, and tell her that she is such a big girl for doing her best to handle those tights.. also tell her that if she wears X ties she can eat her favorite breakfast (like some way-too-sweet cereals) or a yummy snack when she comes home. Socks can bother, and oh dear I know, but sometimes she just have to have them on long enough so she will get used to them and just go on with her day. It can also become a routine to refuse anything.
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gryp
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Thu, Nov 13 2008, 9:27 am
That's true. Micki, save them for another trying on session when she's a bit calmer.
Getting my son to try on his uniform shirts was impossible. He wouldn't even look at them but I begged him to choose just one for that day so I can see if I need to return it or get a different size. Eventually he tried them all on, and was extremely pleased to hear that he looked beautiful in them. Compliments go a long way here.
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greenfire
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Thu, Nov 13 2008, 9:41 am
it's not enough to buy a million pairs of tights ... look for the seamless ones ... have you tried trimfit ...
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