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Forum
-> Fashion and Beauty
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lubaussie
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 Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:33 pm
| queen wrote: | | I believe the same holds true with kids in school. Those that are dressed nicely and neat get better attention, love and care. |
absolutely. When I used to be a kindergarten teacher, I found it difficult not to "favour" the cute kids 
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amother
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:50 pm
| Quote: | | When I used to be a kindergarten teacher, I found it difficult not to "favour" the cute kids |
I am happy then to know u used to be and not anymore. That is very sad and unproffessional imho 
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amother
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:56 pm
It also depends on how you carry yourself. I generally don't notice being treated any differently and I consider myself quite above average. I'm a former model (and a bt). But on any given day I'm wearing a tichel and plain "mommy clothes." And I look tired and a bit stressed. When I was younger I was a flirt. I looked for attention and I received it. These days, I obviously don't look for it beyond my home and I receive much less.
I guess I got more attention when I was single, sans bags under my eyes. Two particular moments stand out in my memory...one was a store owner in Jerusalem and the other run-in was a girl at a wedding. Both people just stared at me in strange amazement and commented on how beautiful I was. You know what? I remember those two times clearly. The first was when I was learning in Israel for the first time. I was on such a spiritual high, I glowed for the entire time. The second, I was newly engaged and dancing for a kallah, daydreaming about how soon it would be me under the chuppah. I had stars in my eyes.
I think that's actually what people notice most sometimes. That inner peace, that true joy, it radiates and draws people in.
Back to the original question since I deviated...I think appearance plays a role but a friendly consumer who makes eye contact with a salesperson gets just as much help.
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mama-star
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:56 pm
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I think chava should be commended for recognizing that she had an "issue" about it.
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amother
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:00 pm
| Quote: | | I think chava should be commended for recognizing that she had an "issue" about it. |
Recognizing is one thing, posting about it is another 
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Clarissa
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:03 pm
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Why? She's admitting to the truth. It's not like we don't know it happens. I've certainly heard about it from parents of children who were favored, as well from a friend of mine who teaches. They're naturally attracted to certain children for whatever reason, even if they succeed in treating all of them equally. Let's be honest, I find certain friends' kids much more appealing than others, whether it's because some are more or less annoying or some are just more entertaining, whatever.
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lubaussie
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:03 pm
whoa. Okay first of all, I was "only" an assistant. Secondly, I didn't say I DID favour them, I said it was dificult not to. As in, it was hard, but I succeeded. Thirdly, I encased "favour" in quotation marks. Which means that, let's say, if I did "favour" a "cute" kid, I may have - I don't know - held him/her on my lap one more time than other kids, or mentioned him/her to my husband/friends, or whatever. Nothing serious. I certainly did not treat the "other" kids any worse Ch"V!! I meant it as a joke anyway. 
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Clarissa
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:05 pm
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There was a gorgeous kid in my son's pre-K class. He was very affectionate, but also beautiful. He was often in the teachers' laps, or getting hugs. It didn't bother me, he was a kid who was on his own a lot (really busy parents, indifferent nanny) so I was happy to see him getting love. It's not like they didn't like my kid, and he was totally happy in their class.
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sky
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:08 pm
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I was once told that when you leave your kids with a babysitter make sure they are clean and wearing very cute pajamas. The sitter will want to play with them more. Its human nature.
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Chocoholic
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:10 pm
Definately!
People are more polite, help you more, smile more at you, think you are a nice person, talk faster to you and.............
(when I was really skinny) have no problem with me eating a delish big snickers bar in front of their face...
...OTOH see a not-so-pretty-overweight lady eating that same snickers and you gotta see the look on peoples' faces!
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Fox
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Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:22 pm
| Chava wrote: | | Actually, scientists/reseachers say that pretty people get more attention from people, so consequentially they will be more successful. I've always wanted to find this out. I wonder if those people with stunning, gorgeous faces that make you stop and stare are really more successful in life? |
Yes, statistically speaking, they are more successful. There have been a ton of studies on this over the years, and people whose facial features are arranged in a way that is considered "attractive" have a definite advantage in a number of areas, including income earned, professional advancement, etc.
However, what is considered "attractive" can vary from culture to culture somewhat. I used to have a lot of contact with plastic surgeons, and they have studied the concept of "attractiveness" with mathematical precision. For example, in Western culture, the concept of "cute" is usually associated with a shorter, flatter nose in comparison to the average. Eyes are generally considered more attractive based on the amount of white that is visible around the pupil. It's really fascinating.
As some of the posters have commented, though, being considered extremely attractive can be a double-edged sword. Women, in particular, who are rated "very attractive" are generally also rated "less competent" in studies. When asked, "Who would you most enjoy talking to at a party?", the research subjects will usually pick the more attractive person; but when asked, "Who would you want to perform your emergency surgery?", beauty gets passed right over!
| Chava wrote: | | When I used to be a kindergarten teacher, I found it difficult not to "favour" the cute kids |
This is completely normal and not in the least bit embarrassing. The teachers whom I really worry about are the ones who say, "Oh, I would never have any favorites!" Some students -- and this is true of nursery schoolers through graduate students -- are just more appealing than others. Being aware of the innate human tendency to favor attractive, appealing people allows a teacher or other professional to guard against letting the tendency alter his/her actions.
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mama-star
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Sun, Nov 09 2008, 12:02 am
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to amother - are we not allowed to talk about our flaws? our mistakes? we have to be perfect to post on imamother?
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mama-star
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Sun, Nov 09 2008, 12:03 am
| Quote: | | Being aware of the innate human tendency to favor attractive, appealing people allows a teacher or other professional to guard against letting the tendency alter his/her actions. |
thank you fox, you said exactly what I wanted to say and so much more eloquently.
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gold21
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Sun, Nov 09 2008, 12:27 am
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I have heard that height is an indicator of success in life. Like taller ppl are more successful overall. Oh well, I'm 5 foot 2.
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Tulip
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Mon, Nov 10 2008, 9:55 am
Here is another former teacher talking. For me it didn't matter in the least how simple and what kind of hand me down's the kid wore. As long as they were clean I was able to "love" them as in hugging and so on. A child that was not clean I definitely pitied and I did like her but it was hard to hug her but I did. I basically took a shower and changed upon arriving home. I know a teacher who is for many years. When a child is not neat and clean she takes her to the washroom and washes her and makes her hair neat so that she should be able to like her. The only kids that I really had a hard time with were the one's with NO MANNERS. But I tried my best.
A SHORT STORY:
I was once subbing in a pre-nursery class. In the morning when the kids came in the class divided sort of in two. The girls who were dressed "just so" and the rest. The latter went to play happily and the "just so" girls stood in a circle. One girl began: "I have a new belt" another said "so I have new shoes" And so on. HELP!!!!!!!!! This was only pre-nursery. What will happen to them as TEENAGERS??????
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amother
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Mon, Nov 10 2008, 10:15 am
| Tulip wrote: | | The latter went to play happily and the "just so" girls stood in a circle. One girl began: "I have a new belt" another said "so I have new shoes" |
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OldYoung
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Mon, Nov 10 2008, 11:22 am
| sky wrote: | | I was once told that when you leave your kids with a babysitter make sure they are clean and wearing very cute pajamas. The sitter will want to play with them more. Its human nature. |
And I was told that when you fly with kids, make sure they are dressed nicely and are clean. People are more willing to forgive children that look put-together, than ones that look like ragamuffins.
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Beauty and the Beast
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Mon, Nov 10 2008, 11:38 am
Yes, pretty ppl. are helped faster and more often..
I have a friend who is very tall, blonde, not exactly pretty, but she dresses to kill and ppl stare at her whenever she walks by. Whenever we are out, the waiters are so attentive to us.. she says its cuz of me, I say it's cuz of her blonde hair, height, and weight..
so the question is, what captures more attention? a pretty face, or a tall and skinny person?
I guess it depends on the taste of the person looking - huh?
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Fabulous
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Mon, Nov 10 2008, 11:39 am
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Totally agree. non jews find me gorgeous when I think I look horendous, no makeup, glasses, sheitel messed up a bit. Eye of the beholder.
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or genuine conern? 
) and even if I act piggish and ask for seconds they just smile and joke. But, I can imagine the looks that overweight women get if they ask for seconds. 