*funny* Power outage during...

Mitzvahmom ↓

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:14 pm

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

"Fine," I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4-inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then I felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared.

And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet. Take care." Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

"And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...." Rolling Laughter

Mrs. XYZ

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:41 pm

I hope this is a joke and not your personal experience! shock

Pineapple

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:42 pm

Mrs. XYZ wrote:

I hope this is a joke and not your personal experience! shock

was thinking the same way

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 10:56 pm

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

PIP ↓

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:08 pm

hahah MitzvahMom, I was about to get mortified for you! Glad it wasn't you!
LOL

GAMZu

Sat, Nov 08 2008, 11:33 pm

I realized 1/2 way through that it's not your writing style. Smile

May I suggest you put the story in [quote] so it should be obvious it's not you. Wink

greentiger

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 12:32 am

mm, you scared me there. glad it wasn't you Smile

queen

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 12:37 am

yeah, me too.... was confused thinking it happened to you!!!
LOL

yo'ma ↓

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 7:10 am

Mitzvahmom wrote:

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

My mouth was dropping, until I noticed that it was a joke.

I don't know how old you are, but how old do you think a person needs to be to get a mammogram?

bebe3

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 9:42 am

I was laughing so hard at his. My husband came in behind me and read over my shoulder, and he was cracking up too. I copied and pasted this to my mother and mil. they will def. get a kick out of this one.

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 1:01 pm

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

My mouth was dropping, until I noticed that it was a joke.

I don't know how old you are, but how old do you think a person needs to be to get a mammogram?

If you have a history of cancer in your family, it's typically around the age of 35.. I am not that old for atleast another 3-4 years.. Even then the breast might not be able to scan.

↑ yo'ma ↓

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 1:36 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

My mouth was dropping, until I noticed that it was a joke.

I don't know how old you are, but how old do you think a person needs to be to get a mammogram?

If you have a history of cancer in your family, it's typically around the age of 35.. I am not that old for atleast another 3-4 years.. Even then the breast might not be able to scan.

My doctor said that if there's history, than at around 30. What do you mean, not be able to scan?

mandksima

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 2:03 pm

bebe3 wrote:

I was cracking up too, so loudly that DH had to come and see what was so funny. He read it and smiled but did not have the same laugh. Maybe part of my hysterical laughter was the fear that this could happen to me to one day (CV"S!!!!)

↑ Mitzvahmom ↓

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 2:45 pm

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

My mouth was dropping, until I noticed that it was a joke.

I don't know how old you are, but how old do you think a person needs to be to get a mammogram?

If you have a history of cancer in your family, it's typically around the age of 35.. I am not that old for atleast another 3-4 years.. Even then the breast might not be able to scan.

My doctor said that if there's history, than at around 30. What do you mean, not be able to scan?

Because the breast tissue could be too dense, they can take a base picture.. But not really scan it properly.
http://www.breastcancer.org/sy.....rams/

they must have recently changed it, my doctor said around 35 I should have one.

↑ yo'ma ↓

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 2:53 pm

Mitzvahmom wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

yo'ma wrote:

Mitzvahmom wrote:

that's why I wrote "funny" on the title...

oh and I am not old enough for that yet..BH!! My mom sent this to me

My mouth was dropping, until I noticed that it was a joke.

I don't know how old you are, but how old do you think a person needs to be to get a mammogram?

If you have a history of cancer in your family, it's typically around the age of 35.. I am not that old for atleast another 3-4 years.. Even then the breast might not be able to scan.

My doctor said that if there's history, than at around 30. What do you mean, not be able to scan?

When I was, I think, 32, I had a mammogram done and the doctor said, since the breast tissue is too dense, I also had a sonogram done. I do have breast cancer in my family Sad

↑ yo'ma

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 2:55 pm

It just occured to me that this was supposed to be "funny" and I'm making it too serious. Confused

↑ Mitzvahmom

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 2:58 pm

yo'ma wrote:

It just occured to me that this was supposed to be "funny" and I'm making it too serious. Confused

yeah start another discussion please..

↑ PIP

Sun, Nov 09 2008, 11:10 pm

ok then, let's laugh....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who's with me? Anybody?