Friend: "You look pregnant"

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 1:11 pm

Was with my friend, and she tells me that - "You look pregnant."
Not sure what to feel...
I really blushed...
She sometimes says untactful comments, so at night when she sent me a sorry text, that it wasn't nice of her to say that, I just didn't reply to that. Because I felt like she needs to be accountable for what she says, and sorry after untactful comments more than once, is not helping much.
I think I'm just just looking for validation for feeling somewhat hurt...

amother

Cream

Yesterday at 1:11 pm

That is horrible, I'm OK with you letting your friend feel guilty for saying that.

Success10

Yesterday at 1:13 pm

I think when you’re ready, you should accept her apology and give her positive reinforcement for acknowledging that she messed up and trying to apologize. It will help her build her social skills in the long run. When you’re ready to forgive.

amother

Beige

Yesterday at 1:17 pm

What was the context?

I would not appreciate a friend asking me if I was pregnant

I would appreciate a friend telling me the top I’m wearing makes me look pregnant so I know to stop wearing it

amother

Iris

Yesterday at 1:21 pm

Gosh that's rude...don't feel bad about putting her in her place.
I have gotten comments like that many times and someone even asked when I was due. I told her " oh I'm not pregnant I just gained some weight." Her reaction was priceless.
Some people say dumb things 🙄
Don't feel bad!

amother

Caramel

Yesterday at 1:24 pm

I'm that tactless person. Don't worry. I'm not your friend.

Sometimes I say stupid things. Then I realized it was stupid and I regret it. I don't mean badly. And I always apologize afterwards when I realize.

All my friends know this about me. They know I don't mean badly. And I feel so bad afterwards... Just don't realize before. I would never insult someone because I know which words are insulting. But there are so many different things that could be hurtful and I don't always realize it until I get the reaction. I try, but there's no guidebook.

amother

Marigold

Yesterday at 1:25 pm

It hurts I know. Recently my mom said to me wow are you pregnant again. But I just keep gaining weight. I had a baby recently a few months ago. I just laughed it off but it did hurt. If it was a friend im not sure if I would be able to be so forgiving.

giftedmom

Yesterday at 1:26 pm

Some people just struggle with no filter. If you know that this is who she is you have to decide if it’s worthwhile having her in your life. But getting offended all the time won’t do you any good.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 1:31 pm

And you remind me how this same friend actually asked me once over text if I'm pregnant. I got all mad and was 'rude' to her that this question is extremely untactful, cuz if I am and would want her to know already, I would've told her, so this means or - 1 - I am not pregnant, or 2 - I am but don't want her to know that yet.
She was responding and treating me and as if I made a huge fuss out of an "innocent question that's normal to ask from a friend"
I sometimes think I have more disadvantages from this friend than advantages...

amother

Lightgray

Yesterday at 2:13 pm

When my baby was 4 months, relative tells me, "....k, u can't be blamed, pregnancy can cause that to happen...." told her, "oh u think I'm pregnant? My baby's 4 months old" she responded, "well, u look it." Punch

flowerpower

Yesterday at 2:15 pm

Some people literally have no filter. You need thick skin around them. I’ve got a few such friends. Knowing who its coming from I don’t take it so personal. I just ignore

Eastern

Yesterday at 2:22 pm

amother Beige wrote:

What was the context?

I would not appreciate a friend asking me if I was pregnant

I would appreciate a friend telling me the top I’m wearing makes me look pregnant so I know to stop wearing it

This, but only if I asked her, or if we’re at the fitting rooms together. Otherwise, no.

Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 2:45 pm

amother Iris wrote:

Chiming in
Nope, not pregnant, just being fat is the best reply Very Happy

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Yesterday at 2:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

Isn't it time to tell off this friend? Seriously.

amother

Taupe

Yesterday at 4:06 pm

Why do people have to be so touchy about this? I have suffered from IF and undergone ivf treatments. At the same time - I used to be overweight with a protruding belly. People have asked me repeatedly if I'm pregnant, also in totally inappropriate situations. I had once someone getting up on a bus and offering me their seat - they thought I was pregnant.
So, that's life. I've always tried to see the funny side of it.

amother

Carnation

Yesterday at 4:16 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

These are not remotely the same thing. The 2nd is good the first-very bad. I could not and would not speak to anyone who felt they could just ask me if I was pregnant.

amother

Gold

Yesterday at 10:58 pm

I take it as a sign I can now have another baby. I never get pregnant until I have at least one of these embarrassing you look pregnant moments.