Big house simple family

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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Moving/ Relocating

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amother

Crimson

Yesterday at 4:25 pm

You need a house for your family. Just because houses are crazy expensive, it doesn't mean you don't deserve a nice house. Hashem takes care of his children in different ways and many people get lots of help to buy a house.

amother

Amaranthus

Yesterday at 4:29 pm

Idk if this is helpful but reminds me of a friend of mine who started off renting a house in “neighborhood A” and felt so welcomed and had tons of friends etc. Was time to buy a house and they found one just a mile away in “neighborhood B” which was a fancier neighborhood. The houses there are more grandiose and bH they could afford it so they bought it. But they’re not the stereotypical wealthy type and they couldn’t make friends in the neighborhood because they’re not super into gashmiyus etc. They ended up selling their house and buying one in neighborhood A that’s the same size but not as fancy and they’re so happy to be back with like-minded people. Neighbors can make or break it!

amother

Wheat ↓

Yesterday at 4:38 pm

I knew someone who was gifted a large, gorgeous home in Lawrence. They weren’t exactly simple people but they definitely weren’t the type to flaunt. They had yeshivish hashkafos and cared very much how they were mechanech their kids.
They ended up sending their kids to school in far rockaway. When the kids got older, friends was a big problem.
Even though their house was beyond beautiful, they ended up selling their house and moving to far rockaway for their kids sake.

So keep in mind that it might be difficult as your kids get older.

Would your parents offer work for far rockaway or do they live right near the house they want to buy for you and they wanted you as neighbors?

I would first try for far rockaway. It’s 25 minutes closer than where you live now.
If that’s not an option, consult with your rav.

Your husband needs a shul he can be comfortable in and a rav he can respect.
Your kids need friends from good homes.

Maybe you can make it work? Keep everything in mind as you ask and plan.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 4:45 pm

Lots of reasons for woodmere. So that’s probably where we want to go. We know lots of families. My concern is the house size

amother

Latte

Yesterday at 5:16 pm

Have you considered Inwood?
11096 zip code

amother

Daisy

Yesterday at 5:19 pm

Hi I live in woodmere currently...just like any area you will have all different house and income sizes. plenty of yeshivish people in fancy homes and visa versa ..I think the thing to keep in mind is that you can't get away from the fact that you will be in the 5towns and your kids are in 5towns schools..that includes the pressure on your kids for brand name items and fancy vacations and it goes on and on...it may seem simple but on yeshiva week when shul is empty it does feel a bit awkward...and I'm talking from experience...

↑ lamplighter

Yesterday at 5:21 pm

I dont think having a big house is a big deal, enjoy it if you can afford the maintenance. People will get to know you soon enough.
It's more important to have neighbors and peers and a shul where people are like you. The teenage peer pressure in 5 towns is no joke.

amother

Bronze

Yesterday at 5:31 pm

amother Lime wrote:

Afaik 5 towns isn’t simple.

I live here. And I'm simple. And there are tons like me. And tons not like me too.
If you don't live here, you are simply going off of things you hear other ppl saying

amother

Sapphire

Yesterday at 5:34 pm

As someone who lives in queens and fits similar categories to you I’d say take the house. Many people are getting help from parents these days because things are just so expensive. Woodmere has a wholesome yeshivish community and we would really love to move there if we were able to!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:47 pm

My kids arent teenagers but will be soon. I didn’t think of teenagers.

What are the teenage years like for girls in Tmm type school

amother

Blushpink

Today at 1:22 am

Wow being gifted a home? I would take it and run!
Seriously I didn't know it's so common (at least 3 people on this thread) to be given a home clean and clear. Such generous families you have KH! I know giving down payment is more common.
Halevai someone would gift me a house. Any house. as long as it's in a good location. And as long as there's enough space for my family.

amother

↑ Wheat

Today at 9:08 am

amother Blushpink wrote:

My brother said the same thing…. And then he was actually gifted a house by his in laws. Not a big house but a home with 3 bedrooms… a basement…. And they of course grabbed it as they had been living in a small rental apartment. But he’s not happy believe it or not! Not because he has a smaller house, but because the house came with in laws. In laws who insisted on having a key because they bought the house after all. In laws who open the door and walk in at any time they please… in laws who insist that they daven in the same shul even though they prefer not to. In laws who insist on eating all shabbos meals together. And the choice of schools in that area is not so good for them that they have to send their children away after a certain age.
So yes, they have a house but it’s not always as great as it seems.

Ruchel

Today at 9:33 am

Ask for a simpler house but get enough space and more !

amother

Snowdrop

Today at 9:37 am

I live in the academy area which is the most yeshivish area of woodmere. The people here are beyond nice, do tons of chessed etc. There are some with nicer houses, but simpler homes too. Tons of tmm girls here. There is some peer pressure for clothing and midwinter but I think it's school related, not neighborhood.

amother

Dandelion

Today at 9:51 am

amother Blushpink wrote:

Is the gift only this house or is the gift any house that works for you?
Can you continue looking?

amother

Kiwi

Today at 9:51 am

Look into the neighbors, shul etc
It makes a big difference

We were BH gifted a home and we live in a mixed neighborhood with most of the people on our block not outwardly fancy (even though many of them are clearly very wealthy, meshulachim come just to them and leave!)

One neighbor is extremely showy and if everyone was like them I’d be so unhappy.

amother

Melon

Today at 9:54 am

I’m a simple family that left five towns. I didn’t find anything simple about it. The kids stuck out like sore thumbs. And they started resenting it as they got older.

rose613

Today at 10:07 am

I have a friend who was in a very similar situation. They asked a shaila and were told to move forward with the house. I would make sure you like the people on the block though and no strings attached from parents.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 10:37 am

To the poster who lives in the academy area, that’s where I’m looking. At the new construction houses 🙈

Are more being built or it’s only a couple that are left?

What other BY high schools are there aside from TMM and Tag?

Any girls HS will have peer pressure, no? Their vacations are just about a weekend not a full week so how far can they be going anyway

amother

Brown

Today at 10:53 am

I think it's funny how everyone still labels the 5T as so fancy/showy etc. Lakewood, Brooklyn, etc are all no different, they may just have a larger core of yeshivish/FFB families that live there but that doesn't guarantee anything in terms of levels of gashmiyus etc.

Woodmere has changed so much - got much frummer over the years. Yes, each block is diff and I agree it does depend on your neighbors. But I know a lot of people in the academy area, and many who are very frum, simple, down to earth people. I have a friend that lives right near the houses you're looking at OP and she just redid her whole house but if you saw her on the street you wouldn't know it at all.

These days everything in Woodmere is crazy expensive, so if you're able to get a new house with space, new amenities and help from your family, go for it.

Academy area does have alot of frummer families / rabbonim mainly bc alot of people in chinuch are able to get tax breaks on property taxes (and prop taxes in that area are high - so if you're buying one of the new construction houses definitely confirm if they've assessed taxes yet)

There are a few diff types of shuls and there are some more yeshivish ones.

I think the peer pressure from schools/kids will be found anywhere, and it's our jobs to be in control of that in our homes and in our chinuch.

Almost all the girls schools here are in Far Rockaway - BBY/TMM, TAG and Ateres Miriam. Since community is growing tons, there is a range of girls in the schools so you wont' find a 'yeshivish" or "simple" school but hopefully you can get put in a nice class and find good neighbors in your area that your kids like to play with.

Hatzlocha raba!!!

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