Miserable living in Monroe

↑ synthy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 6:52 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Are Monroe and KJ the same place? Just curious

Thyre used interchangeably but technically not. Monroe is a town within Orange County. Then there’s the village of Monroe within the town of Monroe. Kiryas Joel used to be a village under the town of Monroe. A few years ago a new town by the name of Palm Tree was created, and now the village of KJ is under their jurisdiction so it’s basically one and the same. But everyone still calls it Monroe.

Last edited by synthy on Mon, Jan 13 2025, 6:53 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Garnet ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 6:59 pm

I live in BG and love love the privacy.

Once your kids are older it becomes harder and harder to live so far from center of where things happen. Friends weddings yeshiva functions etc etc.

Also Darkei Yosher keh...

And the houses here also keh poy poy I mean unless you're rich and can afford a gut renovation...

I love the simplicity and diversity and the easiness here.
Pajamas on my back and front porch.

Its bliss.

↑ synthy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:04 pm

My husband and I have discussed moving out many times. But then I realize what a pain everything would be. No borrowing a sister to babysit for a half hour while I hop over to a tenoyim. No rushing home from work to catch the kids bus, have to be dependent on a car for everything. No walking down to my mom for shalosh suedas on a long summer shabbos afternoon. For my husband, it’s not having a Mikva 2 buildings away and a minyan around the block every 15 minutes.

So while I dream of a real house with a garage and a basement and a patio and a yard, for now I’ll stay here with my million lovely neighbors who spread popcorn on my doormat and ring the bell all day to call my son to play.

amother

↑ Garnet

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:11 pm

synthy wrote:

Sounds like you live in svm or Lemberg...
How can you have a smartphone or a computer? The neighbors kids don't plapel to their mothers?

I get a headache from the issues in BG but I also get a headache from living like that.

amother

↑ Pearl

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:16 pm

synthy wrote:

All that is 100% true.
But when you live with such menichas hanefesh, then it's all just small talk.
And I mean it.

Shopping is a breeze. All you need to do it pick up the phone these days. (Landline it smart phone. Lol) the only thing you need to actually go out to shop is clothing buy that's one per season. Unless you're the type to always need to latest fashion and rub to all stores.

Kids needing to be places, simchas and missing family on shabbos/yomtov, that's the real challange. But still workable and worth it imo.

BG might eventually be more crowded, but I highly doubt it'll ever look anything close to kj.
The newly built houses of 2 families per property, has a terrible time selling. Most at all up for sale, one in my neighborhood was put on the market a year ago. It's still up for grabs (runnnn) it's stunning inside and out and big and brand new. But it's not what people want when moving here.

Most poeple live in old houses, they mostly just make it liveable, very few actually fully gut and renovate.

Also, it's walking distance to kj. Depends where in kj and where in bg you live. But dh went back and forth a few times for family shabbos simcha.
I went once. I'd so it again. Wasn't too bad.

↑ synthy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:22 pm

amother Garnet wrote:

You guessed it 😏. I have a tablet and a home office, my neighbors kids never see it. And honestly no one would care. Most people have access through “their husbands business tablet”. Some of my neighbors for sure have smartphones because we WhatsApp each other. One neighbor is holier than thou and makes sure to always mention how she doesn’t have text, so I’m a shiksa to her anyway. Anyhow, I’m a freelancer so I need it l’tzoirech parnusa. I do hope to rent a real office soon.

I work until 4, so I’m not stuck with the yentas all day BH. I don’t think I’d be able to survive that.

↑ synthy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:24 pm

amother Pearl wrote:

People aren’t buying because after taxes it’s quite expensive. And it’s not walking distance to my mom. I’m not interested in merely stepping over the threshold of the shtetl, I need to get places.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 7:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I grew up here, got married here gave it many chances but I hate every single day here.
The judgment every second of the day and every breathe I give, the peer pressure, the rules upon rules, the staring, the gossiping...
I wish I can move, I am so stuck, both our parents live here and would put up a huge racket if we move away..

I have stages from serious depression to coping somewhat, to horrible thoughts,...you'd never imagine.

If you moved away, what gave you the courage? How did you deal with hate in the family? What was the deal breaker? What advice can you give to have the courage and take the leap?

First off, every place you go to will have pros and cons.
When we moved- we went on vacation stayed for a few months and then went back to say goodbye. It was a lot easier than having people get in the way of our move- which we'd had in the past.
I say, do your research, pick a place and quietly make plans- do not tell others, and when everything is set in place- house, schools... then you can say a proper goodbye and you'll have more confidence in your decision- or you can move and then come back to say goodbye....depending on your situation.
Eventually your family will be happy to have a place to visit.

amother

↑ Aconite

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:21 pm

synthy wrote:

In life we sometimes have to choose our ‘hard’
No choice is perfect, but which one is less ideal and which can is to ‘hard’ for you to live with.

amother

Apple

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:25 pm

synthy wrote:

They’re all overloaded and it’s very hard to get accepted. And they don’t want anyone’s garbage, and people looking to move from KJ it’s oftentimes because the local mosdos won’t accept their kids.

Can we please not call our fellow brothers and sisters 'garbage'.

Every yid is intrinsically valuable, and their true essence may be hidden to the human eye. For all you know, their madreigah can be higher than yours. Who are we to decide????

amother

Firethorn

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 8:48 pm

I love love love living in the shtetl! And I also love love love driving by bg and dream…. Zugtzich zeyer gring, move! It’s not so simple. Years ago when bg was very new and very cheap I begged my husband to finalize on a house. He wouldn’t hear of a 8 foot ceiling house. We bought in a new development in kj and there’s no peer pressure what’s so ever. Not a very big house, noisy neighbors on my head, but The kids love it, I can walk over to my elderly parents, run over to a sister and of course catch the village bus every 10 minutes. Menuchas hanefesh is a gift. And I keep Davening for that. My relative lives in the outskirts, huuuuuuge property, old but nice and peaceful. Tons of trees and fresh air. But, The politics and heartache that’s going on there is heartbreaking!! So yeah.. I can just wish you to be happy wherever you go. Nobody will look your way if you move to monsey, you will never feel like you belong. Rather find a new area with syata dishmaya, sending love to a Kiryas yoela sister!

amother

Ebony

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 9:29 pm

I’m from Monroe too. I actually love it here. I live in a huge building but I do have a private entrance and I don’t mind the neighbors one bit! My kids have lots of company. I have lots of company too. I have lots of babysitters / neighbors I can just send a monitor to. We help each others out all the time. We’re each others pantry’s too! I can only get my kids to go to grocery if their friend also goes, so that’s basically anytime I need anything! The adults respect each others privacy’s, and the kids are kids and would never respect no matter where they live.
My sister lives in Woodbury junction and always has to buy her kids all latest toys and bikes. Segways were a must because all the rich kids had it and anyone living there is more to the rich side. She never has babysitters and she doesn’t have much company during the summer time.
Everything has pros and cons. But if you choose to only see the good, and you make yourself boundaries, you’ll be good off.

If you dress differently than most of the community and feel judged etc, then obviously moving will be the only option cuz you can’t fit a ball into a square.

Another option, if you do have the money for it would be smith farms. They all live a lot closer together but everyone has a nice decently sized house. There’s lots of neighbors and lots of kids. That’s definitely better in this sense compared to Woodbury, country hollow, or even blooming grove