What makes a child “gifted”

mha3484

Yesterday at 9:11 am

I only tested my son because we were evaluating for ADHD, ASD and getting a real IQ number was a side bonus. It explained a lot but I am not sure I would go through all of that if he was not struggling.

I think to start school early you need to be the unicorn ie have exceptional academic and social emotional skills. My son is not that and most gifted kids are not.

amother

Orange

Yesterday at 10:01 am

amother OP wrote:

What would qualify a child to start school younger? How would you get them tested to see if they’re gifted?

Gifted children often have exceptional intellectual abilities but obvious deficits in their social-emotional skills and behavioral problems.

amother

Pewter

Yesterday at 10:06 am

amother Orange wrote:

Gifted children often have exceptional intellectual abilities but obvious deficits in their social-emotional skills and behavioral problems.

Some do and some don't. But if you take any child then start them school early or skip a few grades you're most likely going to end up with that sooner or later.

amother

DarkYellow

Yesterday at 10:08 am

My son may or may not be’gifted’ by technical terms. He’s BH above what most people consider ‘smart’. Taught himself to read at 3. We didn’t start him in school early because socially and emotionally, he was exactly at grade level. We considered putting him into high school early because he spent his elementary years extremely bored in school. Ultimately, his social experience and needs come first. We made sure to enrich his curriculum ourselves throughout elementary school. his teachers let him do his own learning during class as well. He’s right now in the high school that on a very high academic level, and that’s perfect for him. Glad we didn’t put him ahead earlier. It’s such a rigorous schedule.

amother

Forsythia ↓

Yesterday at 10:18 am

amother Orange wrote:

Gifted children often have exceptional intellectual abilities but obvious deficits in their social-emotional skills and behavioral problems.

This is completely false and I don't know why the stereotype continues.

Gifted children in the appropriate environment are no more prone to social or behavioral issues than "average' children.

Problems can arise when they are in environments in which they are bored and may act out because of boredom or if they are in an environment in which they are bullied for being smart

When they are in classes with other smart children they tend to blossom because they are surrounded by their peers and are being taught up to their capabilities so they aren't bored.

In terms of the original question, starting young may or may not be appropriate as I think finding a school that caters to gifted children would be the best solution.

amother

Cornsilk

Yesterday at 8:52 pm

I'd ask the school(s) you're considering sending your child to.

As a BT I thought about starting early, too, with one of my kids - I skipped an early elementary grade in my public school, and I saw the same potential in my kid. But the culture, at least in Chabad in my city (I live OOT), and possibly in Chabad in general, is to supplement in the classroom, and not skip grades. For struggling kids, too. When applying for mesivta, camp, etc, I see it almost always advertised by age, not grade.

(technically, for that kid, I started him in online school a year early, but he basically slept through 4th grade online, and when a new school opened up in my area the next year, the highest they had was 4th grade, so he ended up at grade level for his age after all - it's funny how HaShem works!)

Kids born in the summer sometimes have a bit of wiggle room in which grade to choose, rather than a strict cutoff date, and in schools with small class sizes the principal might recommend one vs the other, given the ages and personalities of the other students in the grade.

amother

Outerspace

Yesterday at 9:02 pm

amother Forsythia wrote:

This is completely false and I don't know why the stereotype continues.

Because gifted kids often do not find same-age social interaction rewarding, since they have few intellectual peers. So they don't seek to engage in more of it, and therefore don't practice and pick up on the skills. When gifted kids have a good reason to learn social-emotional skills, they do. Like any other kid.

amother

↑ Forsythia ↓

Today at 5:56 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

Why did you rebut what I actually posted by including my explanation which is exactly what you said.

If gifted children are provided with the appropriate environment which includes interaction with peers who are also intellectually gifted then they are no more likely to develop behavioral issues or be unhappy than average kids.

They won't be bored - they won't be bullied.

If anything they are more llkely to develop social skills.

Of course just because a child is very smart doesn't mean they should be promoted significantly beyond their chronological age - especially when they are very young when each year has more significant developmental stages than later years.

At one time every moderately 'smart' child in the NYC public school system did SP for middle school which meant that they did Grades 7, 8 and 9 in three years. None of these kids suffered from being too young when they hid high school especially since generally they were tracked into classes with their intellectual peers.

Ruchel

Today at 6:02 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

Some on contrary very cleverly see what adults do and pick it up.
Others are very empathetic or both.

amother

Candycane

Today at 6:10 am

amother Forsythia wrote:

Appropriate environments do not exist. There are no religious schools that have only gifted children and, if there were such a thing, it would become a who is smarter than whom competition and I couldn’t send my gifted dc. It would become the school every parent would feel good by gaining entry and it would disservice the children who can benefit.

Like my gifted dc, many that I meet are better academically than socially. Mine is neurodivergent with ADD as are many others. This means taking tests is harder but my dc’s abilities are far superior with fewer recognizing it because typical classroom measures aren’t fit. Although it isn’t true for all, this is true for mine and many others I know.

↑ giftedmom

Today at 6:14 am

amother Candycane wrote:

Bh a thousand times that both my gifted and twice exceptional (fancy name for both gifted and adhd) kids are doing great socially, unlike me. I sometimes watch in fascination how they do it. It’s like a puzzle I was never able to solve and they were just born knowing it.

amother

Nectarine

Today at 6:17 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

It was not my experience that intellectual peers were necessary for rewarding social interaction. Like any person, a gifted person's interests aren't exclusively intellectual. As a kid, I enjoyed riding bikes with my friends, playing sports, going to the beach, listening to music, watching movies, discussing crushes, dating (didn't grow up frum). I didn't need all of my friends to understand or be interested in everything I read, as long as I had some intellectual outlets. I discussed a lot with my father and also a couple of specific friends. I did gravitate towards a more bookish crowd in high school, but that was probably because the high school itself was very selective and most of the available kids were very bright.

I see my own kids also love to play sports, choreograph and dance, make outfits and hairstyles, play video games, and make art with friends, regardless of those friends' academic or intellectual abilities.

amother

↑ Forsythia

Today at 6:19 am

amother Candycane wrote:

You have unique circumstances since most intellectually gifted children aren't ND nor do they have ADD. An ND child with ADD who was of normal intelligence would have tremendous difficulties socially.

And to say that frum schools are not able to provide an appropriate learning experience for intellectually gifted children is to condemn the system which is creating issues.

As I posted, an intellectually gifted child who is in an environment which supports them is no more likely to have social issues than an "average" child and as Ruchel pointed out often they have more insight and are able to learn social skills more easily. Some social skills and insights are actually learned or observed.