Does your DH celebrate special occasions (without help)?

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Does your DH celebrate special occasions (without help)?

Yes

38%

[ 30 ]

57%

[ 44 ]

Other, please explain

[ 3 ]

Total Votes : 77

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 1:24 pm

Curious how common this is.

Does your DH generally remember and celebrate special occasions without reminders from you?

amother

Gardenia

Yesterday at 1:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Curious how common this is.

Does your DH generally remember and celebrate special occasions without reminders from you?

This poll won't necessarily make you feel better. I think what would is accepting that your dh is not you. He doesn't think like you.
Imagine your dh told you that if you didn't turn a mug upside down and tap it with a spoon on a certain date, then it meant that you didn't love him. So you try and remember to follow all these complicated instructions at the correct date, but you fail yet again and suddenly your dh is crying and saying you don't love him.

What about letting go of what YOU think shows his love for you, and focusing on how he actually shows his love for you?

simcha12plus

Yesterday at 1:37 pm

no. I don’t doubt his love, but he isn’t a gifts person and he isn’t a ceremony person.
No flowers, no gifts.
(lots and lots of love and care)

613mitzvahgirl

Yesterday at 1:40 pm

I know you mean well by asking this. But as a sensitive person I feel like I have to say something. I think might and sure will cause ppl to be jealous. No two men are alike. No two husbands are alike. I’m not going to answer. Im sorry.

amother

Tomato

Yesterday at 1:40 pm

No but he doesn’t love me any less. He’s there for me and is a great husband in many ways. This shouldn’t be the deciding factor.

amother

Scarlet

Yesterday at 1:44 pm

He cares way more than me. He has a birthday month inbetween the Yiddish and English birthdays… it’s so exhausting don’t be like tha fill ur own cup make ur own happiness and buy ur own stupid gifts

amother

Lightyellow

Yesterday at 1:47 pm

Anniversary- yes
Bday- no not always bec my bday is one of the busiest times of year , Yom Kippur and sukkos

He doesn’t usually do major things but can be very thoughtful ie he once brought flowers to my office on our anniversary, once bought a cake he thought I like a lot (I don’t lol) on my bday for the whole family to enjoy. I was very touched. And he once got me a machzor perfect timing.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 1:48 pm

Of course I know that it's not a reflection of his love and I do feel his love in other ways. This isn't something I am struggling with.

I just thought it would be good to show how common this is for men.
The answer is very.

amother

Feverfew

Yesterday at 1:48 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Sounds like it's your dh's love language and you're burned out from doing it for him.

Is your own cup empty?

amother

Seashell

Yesterday at 2:09 pm

We don't celebrate special occasions, but if anyone in our marriage is more mushy and flowery its my dh.

amother

Coral

Yesterday at 2:15 pm

Dh remembers, I don't. I would forget my own birthday some years if it weren't for him.

Molly Weasley

Yesterday at 3:19 pm

DH always remembers, but honestly, I'm not great about it. And that really bothers me. He tends to plan things well in advance, sometimes even months ahead, and I only realize it later, like when he asked about my ring size on a random day three months before a milestone birthday.

But I can't help feeling guilty that the responsibility of remembering our anniversary always falls on him. I just forget to buy something in time, and I think that leads him to feel resentful about the whole thing. Isn't it our anniversary? Shouldn't we both be celebrating? Why does HE have to give me the gift every time?

amother

Almond

Yesterday at 3:20 pm

Hes better at it than me

effess

Yesterday at 3:22 pm

Does a lechayim at the Shabbos meal before anniversary count?

amother

Myrtle

Yesterday at 3:25 pm

Nope. But he is very hands on in the house. Very loving. Very strong in emunah. Provider. A great and playful father.

Win some. Lose some.

amother

Alyssum

Yesterday at 4:15 pm

simcha12plus wrote:

no. I don’t doubt his love, but he isn’t a gifts person and he isn’t a ceremony person.
No flowers, no gifts.
(lots and lots of love and care)

Omg this totall!!!!!!!!

amother

IndianRed

Yesterday at 4:37 pm

He does but I don’t.
Sorry. I feel like it is so forced and perfunctory.
If he needs a new wallet, I will buy him one-why should he wait 3 months not having it. If he doesn’t need one, why am I buying one.
If they have his favorite cut of steak on special at the butcher, I will happily make it that night. Why am I freezing it and saving it, it will not be as good then, and if it is not on sale, why am I overpaying the night of his birthday, I will make it next week.
Why am I making myself and everyone else crazy to figure out a gift at a certain deadline as opposed to always thinking of him and getting him what he needs when he needs it/I see it/it’s on sale? I think these days set people us for stress and failure.

DH buys me gifts/makes me parties and I hate it. The gift is always almost what I wanted, but misses the mark by a hair. (Because he likes to surprise me and thinks he does perfect and getting something from a wish list or a circled picture in a magazine is insulting)

amother

Eggshell

Yesterday at 5:53 pm

He probably would remember on his own but I’m so scared of him forgetting that I usually remind him anyway. That’s on me.

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