Having kiruv students for shabbos - help!

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:22 pm

My husband learns with boys on a nearby college campus and 2 of them are coming for shabbos this week iyh
They’re knowledgeable about shabbos so they won’t do open chillul shabbos
How can I prepare my kids, myself?
What foods do these boys eat??

amother

Gold

Yesterday at 5:31 pm

Get your kids excited! Not sure their ages but tell them you're having guests who don't usually have the zechus of having a Shabbos meal. That your so lucky that you know about Torah and Mitzvos and Shabbos and now you can share your special Shabbos seudah with yidden who don't have Shabbos every week!

Make your usual food.

cube

Yesterday at 5:45 pm

make your usual food, if you usually make super traditional food it may be good to have another option as well ie. gefilte fish and salmon, potato kugel and rice so that if they want shabbos food they can have it but if they don't they won't feel like they had nothing to eat

amother

Stoneblue

Yesterday at 5:49 pm

Make regular food. College kids are happy with anything that isn't cafeteria food.

Tell your kids that youre having guests that didn't get to go to Morah/yeshiva so they might not know as much about Judaism/shabbos/etc

For you (because I witnessed this situation recently) please do not try to play Jewish geography with them (they most likely do not know anything about the Orthodox community where they're from) or ask how their parents feel about them learning more about Judaism (there's no tachlis, its more personal than lighthearted)

amother

Stone

Yesterday at 6:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

Let them lead the conversations, don’t try turn everything into a learning opportunity- it comes across as stodgy and disingenuous. The best thing you can do is showcase a happy, warm family, and be really welcoming kind and non judgemental to them. Also, don’t make ANY assumptions!
Tell your kids that they’re so lucky they get to spend Shabbat with these nice boys!

amother

Ivory

Yesterday at 7:40 pm

Was in this field for years Smile

-your kids are your greatest asset, it’s amazing for college students to see healthy and wholesome and normal families interacting
-let them know there are a few courses. They’re generally shocked that there’s more food past the soup. Whatever u make is amazing and way better than anything they have had in a long long while.
-prepare/have your DH prepare informal questions that will generate discussion (what are you working on these days? Favorite classes etc..) stay away from politics Wink

-have English translated benchers so they can follow along/have the option
-prep them with steps of the meal. We’re going to wash our hands, we’ll show u how and then we don’t speak until we eat..just so you know and it’s not awkward!
-be normal do what you always do, they notice the interactions and like most human beings can smell authenticity and your heart!

Thank you!!

amother

Smokey ↓

Yesterday at 7:43 pm

We had students at our home growing up for years. It's really very simple. I don't have a single incident standing out in my memory as a problem. Some were more interesting than others, but I don't remember any bad incidents.

Most important thing is to make a lot of food. No guarantees but some of these boys really know how to eat. And they're hungry after a week in college.

Assuming they know about Shabbos and have been to families for Shabbos even a few times before, there's very little unlikely to come up. They tend to be respectful and interesting. You can talk about their studies, their fields, their backgrounds. It's okay to be normal and it's okay for your kids to have some tantrums and act up a bit. If you relax and enjoy they will too.

siddur

Yesterday at 8:03 pm

Just want to say- kol hakavod!
It sounds like you’re stepping out of your comfort zone here to host these guys.
So on behalf of Am yisrael, thank you!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 7:10 pm

Thank you all so much!!

Here’s my menu:
Friday night:

Challah and sourdough
Dips (roasted garlic, chummus, shallot dip, eggplant)
Cucumber salad
Coleslaw
Salmon - no one here likes gefilta fish
Chicken soup, matzo balls and soup vegetables
Chicken - can I do simple spiced chicken on the bone?
Corned beef
Potato kugel
Green beans
Rice
Brownies and ice cream

Shabbos day:
Challah
Eggs and liver
Grilled chicken romaine salad
Leftover Friday night salads and dips
Cholent
Kugel
Deli and Shnitzel
Sorbet/fruit

Shalosh seudos:
Challah, matzo
Leftover salmon
Chips and guacamole
Leftover salads
Pasta salad

Is that good? Enough?

amother

↑ Smokey

Today at 7:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

Might be the fanciest meal they ever saw LOL.

Just make sure there's enough quantity for big appetites. No need for fancy chicken on the bone. Simple is fine.

BatyaEsther

Today at 7:37 pm

Sound amazing! Kol Hakavod.
That are more worried about impressing you than you need to be about impressing them.
Warmth is the most important thing to show them. Having you and your husband model treating each other with respect is the greatest thing you can do.
Your menu sounds fabulous. Just make sure it is plentiful as boys are hungry and you don’t want them to be afraid to eat.
Let them help. Nothing makes people feel comfortable like helping and not standing on ceremony. It can be with serving food or reading a story to your kids. Just don’t answer “nothing your a guest, just relax “ when they offer to help.

You got this! Have an amazing time!!!!

amother

Hydrangea

Today at 8:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you serve this let them know there will be many courses otherwise they will assume the fish is the main dinner.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 8:36 pm

My husband said they’ve been at shabbos meals before by the rabbi on campus and another family, so hopefully they know the order but I’ll ask my husband to do a quick review or something when they come
I am making a lot of food , if it doesn’t go there’s always Sunday supper leftovers lol
Thanks everyone for your advice and tips and encouragement!!