The biggest divider between us

↑ Trademark

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:21 pm

It's much worse in the world in general.

There you have the rich and upper middle class live in gated communities away from all the problems.

Then you have the middle class more in the suburbs.

And the poor and disadvantage communities and places like the inner city or in rural Appalachia for example.

Their lives don't really cross over and there is a huge disconnect.

I don't see this being a thing in our community.

Last edited by Trademark on Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:22 pm; edited 2 times in total

amother

Dustypink

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:27 pm

If you’re comparing the ultra rich of Miami to the modest Baltimore ya I guess lol. But that’s life no? I feel like everyone can be friends. Maybe you put a lot of emphasis on it but most ppl don’t care so much

amother

↑ Bone ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:33 pm

Trademark wrote:

right, my SIL was saying that looking around her kids public school she's surrounded by people like her. I don't think she meant in terms of being jewish, more like same socioeconomic type.

mha3484 ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:34 pm

As long as we have common interests, I can be friends with anyone but income aside, I am a really low on the materialistic scale so if that's what your into, we just wont have a lot to talk about. Like attracts like so if I am not into shopping, vacations, expensive stuff most of my friends probably wont be either even if they are millionaires.

HonesttoGod

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:36 pm

The divide is actually harder (I won’t say worse) in the Frum communities because in non Jewish world everyone lives within their socioeconomic circle. So rich with rich etc.
so it’s more visible and “bigger” there.

Vs Frum people generally go by shul/community/chasidus for example. So the divide isn’t as obvious but it is much harder.

amother

↑ Bone

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:40 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I think this is a much more accurate assessment based on my experience as well Smile

chanatron1000 ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:45 pm

If anything, the problem is the lack of divider. Don't get me wrong, unity is great. But the issue is when the upper middle class gets to set the norms and everyone else is, by default, instead of working class, just the impoverished middle class who needs to keep up with standards or else.

amother

DarkRed ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:48 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

No one needs to keep up. Life isn't a race.

I don't find finances are a divider unless you make it one.

↑ Success10

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:49 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

I love this.

But just like my teens have no choice but to share a room, simple folk have no choice but to share a planet with the wealthies. Hashem made it that way for a purpose. We need to learn to live with what we have.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:51 pm

Honestly when I say divide, I mean being able to truly relate.

I have friends in real life who are better off than me, and friends here.
We can be friends, chit chat.

But there's a deep divide. If I were to vent about being overwhelmed I get told "quit your job, mommies belong raising their kids"

When the conversation goes to midwinter its "everyone at least goes to a water park/hotel"

When someone here says she doesn't have insurance "get insurance, it's absolutely a necessity"

It makes me realize this deep divide and lack of understanding.

The Haves truly don't understand what it means to Have Not.
And the Have Nots truly don't vice versa.

I can make light chit chat but that's it

I find it easier to have conversations with women who come from different communities, different walks of life, different religious levels if they understand on a personal level the socioeconomic level.

And I think it's getting worse as tge middle class is shrinking

amother

↑ DarkRed ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can't fathom that people could be so clueless and insensitive. I guess I haven't experienced that from others. People Inknow are not so out of touch with reality that they would ever say such things.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:57 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

Read threads here.
Someone venting about midwinter and how she can't afford is told "go to XYZ museum and hotel, it's only $300"

Someone venting about working ft and being overwhelmed, she gets told to quit her job, babies need their mommies.

And so much here.

Absolute cluelessness

amother

Brunette ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 2:58 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

It happens right here on imamother, I’m the OP of the winter vacation example

↑ chanatron1000

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 3:06 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

No one needs to keep up. Life isn't a race.

I don't find finances are a divider unless you make it one.

Sometimes, unintentionally, wealthier people directly put financial pressure on less wealthy people. Like when the standard for the school is to require students to purchase things that are to the wealthiest student the equivalent of putting a quarter in a gumball machine for the least wealthy student. Or when people go out to a restaurant and split the bill...

amother

↑ Brunette

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 3:08 pm

amother DarkRed wrote:

No one needs to keep up. Life isn't a race.

I don't find finances are a divider unless you make it one.

Let’s say for example winter vacation. It’s a week long, it’s that long because people like to go away. So the wealthy go away. The rest non wealthy need to take off work and/ or spend money to keep the kids from killing each other.
So sometimes it’s not a choice