S/o “When they run into the street”

amother

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:21 pm

Whenever there is a conversation about potching kids, people always give the example of when a child runs into the street it’s appropriate (or not appropriate) to potch them. I have multiple children and none of them has ever been in a position to run into a street. They are not put anywhere near a street without a responsible adult holding on to them in some way until they’re at an age and level of understanding where we are confident they will not run out.

Surely it’s not just me?

amother

Hotpink ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:38 pm

They have done similarly dangerous, scary, but less expected things. One stuck a finger in an electrical socket (luckily not far enough in to get shocked), one toddler around age 2 who I never buckled in the stroller, randomly hopped out of the stroller when we were on the curb waiting to cross the street. One around 6 years old disappeared (didn't bother to tell me he was leaving the area they were supposed to be at... even though I did not specifically say they couldn't leave... was a few scary minutes for me.

I didn't potch for any of them.

Because I'm not perfect, my first instinct was to scream in fear for the first two cases, and with the electrical socket my scream scared the kid enough that she cried. This was an immediate reaction, not a chinuch method, so I wouldn't blame someone who automatically gave a potch as a basically uncontrolled reaction.

With the lost kid, I had enough time to think about it, so I was able to calmly explain to all my kids that they can't go off where I can't see them.

Trademark

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:44 pm

One thing when I these kinds of posts also regarding sleep training, is that people have different kind of children and you can't generalize.

Some have easier children than others.

Maybe one mother has a child run into the street once and she knows next time to take a toddler leash.

Some people have more stubborn children who won't let themselves go to sleep while others are much easier.

Etc etc

But the whole my child never did that or I'm able to sleep train without any crying. I'm sorry but maybe you have it easy and don't judge others so quickly.

Obligatory imamother disclaimer: obviously I'm not talking about abusive practices.

amother

↑ Hotpink ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:44 pm

I feel like it's a fine line, when CHOOSING to potch, between

"He ran out in the street, so it was to save his life"

And

"Sure he's only 3 now, but if we don't nip that behavior in the bud now, he'll do it as a teenager and then be eligible for karet, so it's to save his life"

The only time I've potched was as an accidental reaction to a kid causing me pain, often the kid only fell on me so it was unintention and didn't warrant any punishment, but that was my natural reaction. Luckily rare, and I do feel bad and try to explain to the kid that I didn't mean to.

tigerwife ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:44 pm

I live on a quiet suburban street. We often sit outside in front of the house in warm weather to play and shmooze. It takes about 10 seconds for the 5 year old to distract you with a question and the 18 month old to jump out of the push car and run into the street. That said, I don’t potch. I bring them back to the house and if it happens a few times then we need to stay indoors. That’s usually enough of a consequence for their actions (and a punishment for me Wink

)

flowerpower

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:46 pm

I wait with my kids at the bus stop every morning. My toddlers are trained not to run on the street. After a good 8 months of waiting on the side walk every morning my then almost three year old just suddenly ran onto the street. Kids are kids. You can train them, warn them, watch over them like a hawk….. they are not predictable.

Last edited by flowerpower on Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Daphne ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:48 pm

tigerwife wrote:

)

A few times?? 😲 😲 😲

I gave one potch and none of my kids ever tried it again.

Rather that than waiting for them to be hit by a car because of standing on principle.

amother

Blushpink

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:50 pm

Trademark wrote:

THIS
My kids are actually very calm and well behaved. Why would I ever hit them? Except the one that has this crazy temper and violent streak. And I often have to physically restrain them to prevent them hurting the others. And sometimes holding a kicking and scratching child will result in my restraint becoming more painfully tight. And there have been a couple of incidents when they kept terrorizing the others and I ran out of all my tools and strengths and slapped them (then they cry and suddenly I’m comforting a victim).
I mean, other than that, I’m a great parent. / sarcasm
10/10 do not recommend having a difficult child, send help.
And no, I do not recommend potching. Just tell me what you would do in my place. Honestly if a kid is bothering ME, I stay calm. But when they attack my baby, I go full mama bear. It’s hard because I love them so much and wish it wasn’t like this.

↑ tigerwife

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:53 pm

amother Daphne wrote:

A few times?? 😲 😲 😲

I gave one potch and none of my kids ever tried it again.

Rather that than waiting for them to be hit by a car because of standing on principle.

With my eldest, I tried the “potch the hand” method. It didn’t work. My kid sobbed, I felt like a failure. Honestly, it sounds magical when everyone here posts how potching is the secret method to chinuch.

And yes, being out there with my kid allows me to prevent them from going deep into the street. I’ve done a lot of running when my kids were toddlers. They do learn, eventually.

amother

Glitter

Yesterday at 12:10 am

Im a parent who holds hands in and near streets. I am always outside watching kids, following tots in spring and summer. There are children who are testers or runners.
There are multiple situations in which a responsible mom can have a child who lands in the street.
It happens.
...yes id potch !

doodlesmom

Yesterday at 12:14 am

I am always outside and try to be very on the alert when my kids play outside on the street. But when you’re on city streets and there is 8 feet of playing area until the curb there is more chances of kids running on the street than if you’re in the suburbs and the kids can play far from the curb, and if they’re within 10 ft of the curb you already send them back.

amother

Oatmeal ↓

Yesterday at 12:14 am

tigerwife wrote:

I've always been out there with my kids and it didn't prevent my toddler from running into the street. He was lightning quick. It takes a second for it to happen.

It doesn't depend on the mother, it depends on the kid. Some kids will move slowly, some kids will stick by their mother, some kids just love to test boundaries, some kids are very agile, some kids are lightning fast etc..

Just because your kid hasn't tried it, doesn't mean others won't. Than Hashem that yours don't do it, instead of judging others.

And from experience, one potch accomplished what the other methods couldn't.

amother

↑ Daphne

Yesterday at 12:19 am

tigerwife wrote:

The kid sobbing isn't an indication that it didn't work. If they run in the street again, you know it didn't work, and get a toddler leash. Kids are allowed to cry. Sheesh.

My one kid that got a potch for running into the street and it never happened again.

Another one turned on the flame and got a potch and never went near the stove again.

One kid (my runner from above, real handful), said a yucky word after a warning and got mint mouthwash and none of my kids, including that one, ever tried it again.