Letting girls play at single father’s house

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Parenting our children

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

OP ↓

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 4:01 pm

Would you allow your young daughters to play at a friend’s house if they live with a single father? Or are being supervised only by the father?

amother

Lightpink

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 4:02 pm

Please define young.

notshanarishona

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 4:12 pm

My daughter sometimes plays with a friend who some nights is at her father’s house.
I don’t think I would have allowed it when she was very young but from 9/10 onwards..

amother

Cyan

Fri, Jan 03 2025, 4:25 pm

Didn't we have this thread already?

amother

Nasturtium

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:53 am

I completely understand why people may be hesitant to let their daughters play there, but my heart goes out to the little girl who can't have all friends over because of this. I also feel for the single dad who is probably a very nice guy and is doing his best......

essie14

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 12:01 pm

I don't base my decisions on parents marital status. There are plenty of married couples whose homes I prefer DD not visit.
DD has a lovely friend with a perfectly nice single father.

abound

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 2:39 pm

I did at age 9-12. it was fine.
Dont look at the marital status but at the type.
How abt if they go to a kid whose parents are married and the mom goes out leaving the father in charge, wouldthat be a problem?

amother

Yarrow

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 2:39 pm

Its could be Yichud especially if there aren't siblings around.

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 3:03 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

Its could be Yichud especially if there aren't siblings around.

They can leave the front door unlocked.

My daughter had a friend whose parents were divorced and she lived with her father. We allowed her to go play there.

Success10

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 3:21 pm

I have allowed it before. In that particular family, there were older teen sisters, and even sisters in their early 20’s who basically ran the home so it was a pretty supervised environment.

teachkids

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 6:32 pm

I would say it depends if there are other kids around or it’s just my kid and her friend.

But with close friends who we know well, I will send DD over if the moms not home and dads in charge, even if they’re the only ones around.

amother

Brown

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 6:32 pm

No.

amother

Birch

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 6:33 pm

amother Yarrow wrote:

Its could be Yichud especially if there aren't siblings around.

I don't think it's yichud if his own daughter is there.

behappy2

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 6:36 pm

As long as I was comfortable with the father, than yes.

amother

Forestgreen

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 6:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Would you allow your young daughters to play at a friend’s house if they live with a single father? Or are being supervised only by the father?

OP, is your issue yichud or your thinking that every male is a possible problem?

amother

Navy

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 7:26 pm

I have a family member in this situation. Please realize that regardless of what the mother says if he was truly abusive, negligent and attempted murder of his ex wife, if after a FEW years of investigation he was awarded joint custody, per recommendation of the forensic evaluators, (yes plural) please don’t make the kids suffer more than they already do and allow your children to go play there (or attend a birthday party there for an hour.)

AlwaysGrateful ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 7:39 pm

I don't understand...Those people who are saying that they would not send their child. Would they send their child to a home where the father is watching the children because the mother is out? Would they be upset if they were not told that the father will be doing the supervising and asked if they're okay with it?

Because I have no problem leaving the house when my husband is around to supervise, even if my daughter has a friend over. I would definitely ask the child's before leaving, say, my teenager in charge. But I would never even think to ask before leaving dh in charge...

What's the difference?

(ETA, for the record, I only allow my kids to go to houses where I either know them well enough to feel relatively comfortable, or after I make some phone calls and find someone I trust who knows them well enough to make me feel comfortable. I completely understand making responsible choices...just not sure how this criteria makes any sense.)

Last edited by AlwaysGrateful on Sat, Jan 04 2025, 7:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Yolk

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 7:41 pm

essie14 wrote:

I don't base my decisions on parents marital status. There are plenty of married couples whose homes I prefer DD not visit.
DD has a lovely friend with a perfectly nice single father.

This. I have several men on the “my-child-cannot-play-at-your-house” list and none of them are single

amother

Smokey

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 7:53 pm

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

I always give a heads-up if I won’t be home. Most of my friends are happy to send their kids anyway, but I think it’s fair to inform, especially if it’s a new friend.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 8:32 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

Please define young.

4-6

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next