Say something nice

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Say something nice

Previous 1 2 3 4

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Do you compliment others

Yes

94%

[ 112 ]

[ 7 ]

Don’t want to make others feel good

[ 0 ]

Total Votes : 119

Crookshanks

Tue, Dec 24 2024, 4:01 pm

I love giving compliments. I love clothes so I notice them a lot. I compliment friends, family, strangers, cashiers in stores... No one's ever looked at me weird (and I live in Lakewood lol).

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 12:41 am

zaq wrote:

DRTL, but... we've become so paranoid about making personal remarks, never knowing what may "trigger" someone (gosh, I hate that word, so overused), be labeled "inappropriate," or be considered intrusive. Don't tell someone she lost weight, it implies she was fat before. Don't say "that's a pretty blouse," it implies the skirt isn't. And why are you mentioning something so personal, anyway? Who asked you to comment?

However, I'm with you, OP. I do try to remember to compliment anything I see that looks nice. I walk up to total strangers (women only, natch) and tell them I like the color of their jacket ( then show them my umbrella or gloves that are the same color, and continue on my way) or admire the embroidery on their blouse. My mother used to say "If you think something nice, say it aloud." It does put a smile on people's faces, and it feels good to connect with someone in a pleasant way for that brief moment.

Yes!!
To the second part .
Regarding the first part , I guess you have to know the person and how they will interpret it .
What’s dtrl?

amother

↑ Leaf ↓

Yesterday at 12:47 am

zaq wrote:

No they're not. They're sharing their taste. If I think it's pretty and you think it's ugly, it's MY taste that's being insulted.

And why do you wear dresses you hate, anyway? Give them away to someone who likes them and make both of you happy.

1. If you're insulted by my not liking it, well, I wasn't going to tell you? Just like I don't want unsolicited opinions from other people either.

2. As I mentioned before, the reason I don't give away the dress is because we live in a society that highly frowns upon public nudity.

amother

↑ Leaf

Yesterday at 12:51 am

If you're saying something "nice" without considering the feelings of the person you're telling it to, you're not being nice at all.

↑ singleagain ↓

Yesterday at 7:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes!!
To the second part .
Regarding the first part , I guess you have to know the person and how they will interpret it .
What’s dtrl?

DRTL means "didn't read; too long" usually it's put at the bottom of a long post with a two sentence sum up. Also I've seen it swapped TLDR

And I think what zaq meant about triggers is precisely that if you don't know the person has a certain trigger you cannot be blamed if you accidentally trigger them. It is the person who gets triggered responsibility to manage their triggers especially with people who don't know.

If I get triggered by the color brown I can ask my friends not to discuss the color with me, but if someone I don't know comes up to me and starts talking about the color I cannot explode at them and yell and cry and tell them "how dare you don't you know I'm triggered by brown"

TLDR; you cannot make society/strangers responsible for your triggers you must deal with it yourself.

↑ singleagain

Yesterday at 7:38 am

amother Leaf wrote:

If you're saying something "nice" without considering the feelings of the person you're telling it to, you're not being nice at all.

If it's generally considered a nice comment by other people than the issue is the individual person themselves and person needs to come up with strategies to deal with the unwanted comment.

We cannot live on eggshells because of the possibility of the 1 who will interpret the normal nice comments as abnormal.

Yes if you know someone who will be sensitive, you don't mention it. If it's a stranger, it's not their fault.

↑ zaq

Yesterday at 11:56 am

[quote="amother OP"
What’s dtrl?[/quote]. DRTL: didn't read, too long

Also used as shorthand for "I'm responding to the initial post before reading the entire thread which is so long I will have forgotten what I wanted to say well before I got to the end of it."

Page 4 of 4

Previous 1 2 3 4