Winter vacation | Imamother

tigerwife

Yesterday at 10:48 am

It’s nice to go out of the house at least once each day.
I love lazy mornings. Stay in pajamas through a long breakfast. After dressing, davening, etc (probably 1pm already), go to the library the first day. Stock up for the week and do an activity there if they have. Stop off at the grocery on the way home and everyone can choose ingredients for a supper they want that week.
The next day, lazy morning again. You can go to dollar tree and choose projects, maybe a new game. Now you have new books and toys for the rest of the week.
Wednesday can be the trip day. Would your kids go ice skating? I find that it’s a fun activity that isn’t very pricy. Maybe bowling, too. I love DVOM’s ideas but I would be too cold to do outdoor activities in the winter.
Thursday can be grocery day again and help make shabbos. Maybe visit Barnes and Nobles as well. If you do screen time, maybe let them watch a video together with homemade popcorn.
Friday is the usual Fridayness.
Good luck!

amother

Apple

Yesterday at 11:04 am

Op, I read the first post and I relate.
You want to vent.
It's stressful.

I'm killing myself to pay tuition but in order to do that, I need to work. I can't take off the week. I take off 1 day unpaid but I can't afford to pay anything for entertainment, no not even Dollar Tree, I'm already losing a day pay.
My husband takes off 1 day unpaid also
Then I work from home 3 days. Which means waking up at 5 to get 3 hours of work in, then entertain the kids all day, then when they finally go to bed, logging in and doing another 3 hours of work.
And fielding nonstop complaints "why can't we buy pizza, this homemade is gross" "we're baking cookies, Estis family is going to a water park"

Im tired, stressed and resentful and nothing's good enough. The days I take off are never good enough. That I sacrifice my sleep instead of working while they're home during the day, not good enough. My boss is disappointed at my subpar performance during the week. And the school is harassing me for tuition.

I know midwinter is supposed to be fun. But I'm sorry. I'm trying.

Vent over.

amother

Bubblegum

Yesterday at 11:20 am

DVOM wrote:

If the creative stuff aren't your personality, skip them. It doesn't take creativity to take a walk, play a board game, follow a recipe.

Think about what you enjoy. Yoga? Puzzles? Build your day around that.

Your attitude, your joy and contentment in spending time with your kids, will infuse any actively with happiness. Your kids will feel it, and remember it.

For me, this really is true, because I'm not the creative type and we do really simple things. We just go for walks, bake a lot, make patchka suppers, muffins in the morning, puzzles, coloring sheet fun, and bowling which is fairly cheap. I'm not saying there aren't tough moments, of course there are. And I get tired!! But I see that when I overall enjoy a lot of parts of the day, then my kids do too (amidst the grumbling.) The funny thing is that my kids remember being home during Covid so fondly while I remember being sick for months barely breathing and feeling awful!

amother

Peru

Yesterday at 6:13 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

I definitely agree that the mothers attitude will carry the day even if the teens sulk. Don't let them bring down the whole family.
Second, check if any of your cc give free hotel nights. I've done some one night trips that were pretty mega. Packing up, driving as long as u can, bathroom breaks... hotel pool, fitness room, movie night... then the next daywe ask for late checkout so until we leave is about 1. Then we find some cheap attraction nearby. Takeout for dinner and we always get good vibes after. And the whole thing cost gas and maybe few snacks.
Teens are asked in advance to be cheerful or make other plans by friends for the night but they always choose to join.
Dh can't take off more than one day from work but this easily fills 3 days. One day is packing and getting ready to leave at 6 when he gets here, next day we're away, and the next day is laundry and just getting everything back together, like a stay at home kinda day.

I never heard of cc giving free hotel unless you mean with points? Can you list actual cc that does this? Thanks

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:45 pm

amother Bubblegum wrote:

Ok but that’s an hour or 2 a day, the rest of the day is fighting and messes. Also, Bowling for example, very hard to take my big kids and 2 year old, coloring boring for my big ones, baking is either fighting or a huge mess

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:46 pm

amother Apple wrote:

Ty! Not to mention I’m also taking the week off of work and I get paid by the hour so I don’t get paid for the week

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:47 pm

tigerwife wrote:

By 1pm my kids have literally pulled each others hair out, but then I’m ready to give them up for adoption.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 6:48 pm

DVOM wrote:

Oh hon....

There are lots of ways to be a good mom. I bet you are a good mom!

If the creative stuff aren't your personality, skip them. It doesn't take creativity to take a walk, play a board game, follow a recipe.

Think about what you enjoy. Yoga? Puzzles? Build your day around that.

Your attitude, your joy and contentment in spending time with your kids, will infuse any actively with happiness. Your kids will feel it, and remember it.

Ok but these things are an hour or 2 the rest of the day is fighting.

Goldie613 ↓

Yesterday at 7:20 pm

Some quick thoughts OP -

- Playdates can be a huge help. If the kid is with a friend, they tend to get less bored. If a couple of the kids have friends over at the same time, you may have to pay for snacks or make a larger quantity of lunch food, but it may still keep them busy for a day.

- Can you trade with any moms, even for a few hours, so you both get a break? Maybe something like she takes all of yours for dinner Monday, you take all of hers for dinner Tuesday? The kids will feel like they got to do something, and you can have a bit of a chance to breathe.

- Yes, it's pricey to get everyone over to family, but what if family comes to you? If a favorite out of town teenage/college age cousin (or Great Aunt, or Bubby) comes for a visit for a few days, the kids will find it exciting and at most you'd have to spring for bus or train fare for one person.

- Why are you assuming you have to do something big the whole week? Think of it as Camp Mommy, where you may have one trip a week (at most) but odds are most of the time you are doing smaller things, or just sticking to a regular routine. The point being, I don't think you have to drive yourself nuts trying to keep up with the Joneses (or Schwartzes, as the case may be).

- Are there other moms near you who feel the same? If so, can you brainstorm together and split the cost for some activities that you couldn't pull off alone?

- Are your kids old enough that they have some of their own spending money? Can they go do things with friends on their own, or pay their own way to join a friend's family when they go to something pricier?

- Is anything in your neighborhood running extra activities or special events during this time that you can take advantage of?

- One last thought: I don't know the ages of your kids, but are any of them old enough to play Morah for a day, maybe with a friend of two, and do an activity for their siblings/friends' siblings? Yes, you may have to pay them something, or give them some kind of treat, but again, it keeps everyone entertained for a day (note: treat can be free, along the lines of if they do this they can have a slumber party one night that week).

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:32 pm

Goldie613 wrote:

So play dates would be great but somehow during vacation no one is around for my kids.

The only moms I know go to FL 🤷‍♀️

No one else has winter vacation the same time as us

I don’t think we have to do something big at all. Just need a way to keep the kids busy, and also my kids will kvetch boredom but that’s another story

amother

Cornsilk ↓

Yesterday at 8:11 pm

amother Lily wrote:

I feel for you, OP, but honestly, it sounds like you don't really want a solution... Many posters came up with good ideas here.
Hatzlacha and I hope it's a pleasant experience for all of you!

I agree with OP there really isn’t a solution. Especially when the kids get older. My teens have no interest in the library, a walk, or dollar tree. Grocery shopping with me isn’t a novelty and they don’t want to bake/cook. It’s very hard to keep everyone entertained for cheap.

Lazy mornings sound nice in theory, practically my little kids are not hanging around nicely not killing each other or my house from 6am to 1pm. No way.

Making nice big breakfasts also sounds nice, but realistically that means me being busy in the kitchen all morning preparing/serving and left with a huge mess after that I’m trying to clean up while everyone is kvetching that they’re bored.

There really is no magic solution.

Ema of 5 ↓

Yesterday at 8:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right but a whole week? We already have off significant for Chanukah. (Which is nice don’t get me wrong). The issue with midwinter is the expectation to do something.
Honestly even a budget to do one big thing is out of our budget. But ok, will make it work somehow.
I have kids of all ages so constant no structure just leads to fighting and messes and constant eating.

How much do you have off for Chanukah? My boys have two days and my girls have one.