Controversial gift giving

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 3:36 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

Maybe it’s because toddlers and young kids don’t get excited about gelt

They certainly dont need gifts chocolate gelt and playing dreidel will do. Plus everyone here is buying gifts for a lot older kids than toddlers

amother

Red

Yesterday at 3:39 pm

Personally, I gave my kids $ years ago because I thought like you.

My money would then sit around in a drawer (if it made it there, we don't talk so much about money in the house so my kids didn't care that much about it) until the kids decided to waste it on something like ice cream or bring it on some trip in the summer.

It just made more sense to me to give them something that was useful and I use the opportunity to fill up our toy closet and buy different games, books & useful items, like a cricut etc.

amother

Apple ↓

Yesterday at 3:45 pm

I started this thread a few days/weeks ago.
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....89689

I dont get it either. It was never a thing growing up. We got some gelt from bubi and zaidi. We got some chocolate. And we payed dreidel. No gifts.
And of course it from the non jews. And anyone who says soemthing else is just telling themselves that.

Molly Weasley ↓

Yesterday at 3:48 pm

amother Apple wrote:

Fine. You'll get a lump of coal

amother

Cinnamon

Yesterday at 3:49 pm

I give gifts after candles so the kids can be busy with their new toys and I get a few minutes of peace and quiet to daven near the candles Smile

I don’t give major gifts. Some nights individual gifts other nights one gift for the family etc and other nights they get from grandparents

amother

Bergamot ↓

Yesterday at 3:57 pm

It seems like a very long time.

At least in back in the 1950's as my parents said they got Chanukah gifts from their parents.

They did mention that it wasn't a thing in Europe but then Chanukah was a relatively minor holiday then as well.

No doubt in America there is some relationship with toys being given to children during the winter holiday season.

But one could say the same thing about the culture of tipping every teacher, tutor or person for Chanukah as I imagine this wasn't widely done in Europe either.

amother

Iris

Yesterday at 4:01 pm

A few reasons. Kids didn’t understand gelt or what to do with it. Parents found it more overwhelming to go to toy stores with kids to spend their chanukah gelt and realized it’s easier to convert the gelt to a gift themselves and just present the gift. You can get a cheaper gift and it doesn’t look as cheap as just giving bigger kids $5. People who can’t splurge on toys on the all time can easily say we buy new toys Chanukah and kids accept it. I’m sure there are other reasons.

↑ Molly Weasley

Yesterday at 4:02 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

Chanukah is the same holiday today as it was in europe.

amother

↑ Bergamot ↓

Yesterday at 4:05 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

Chanukah is the same holiday today as it was in europe.

Not sure what you mean because my grandparents were from Europe before WW II and didn't give gifts to children - just gelt, chocolate and maybe an orange which was actually a big deal present.

They only started in American because they saw it was being done in Brooklyn by other families who had been here longer.

Their parents didn't give them presents in Europe or even in American when they first came over.

amother

Gold

Yesterday at 4:10 pm

My parents did not give me gelt or gifts.
I don't give my kids gelt or gifts.

I never felt lacking in any way.

And my kids LOVE chanukah and don't seem to feel they are missing out on anything either. They have no concept of getting something from me because it was never introduced to them.

Raisin

Yesterday at 5:05 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

I think that probably non Jewish kids in the 1930s probably were also happy with chocolate, oranges and small gifts.

amother

↑ Bergamot

Yesterday at 5:12 pm

Raisin wrote:

I think that probably non Jewish kids in the 1930s probably were also happy with chocolate, oranges and small gifts.

There is enough history I have read which indicates that presents of some kind were a part of Xmas for children even in the Victorian times.

They might not have been numerous or lavish and probably extremely poor children got little or nothing. The whole idea of gifting around the winter solstice goes back to the dawn of time but by Victorian times - at least in England there was Father Xmas with his sack of presents.

I imagine it was similar in other Western European countries where there was Saint Nicholas who was the prototype for Santa.

amother

Sage

Yesterday at 5:18 pm

Im in my 40s.
My husband and I both received gifts

My parents and in-laws in their 70s all received gifts.

My grandmother who would be 100 received gifts.

My husband's great-grandmother told him that in her European village, many men were peddlers. They would leave after Sukkos, traveling around and come home for Chanukah. They would leave again after Chanukah, hoping to be back by Purim, but otherwise Pesach.
When they came home Chanukah, they would give gifts to the children and wife. Great-grandma remembered getting a ball, a tin whistle and a pair of store bought stockings. She remembered her mother getting a store-bought lace apron that became a Shabbos apron.
The father would also pay the melamed on Chanukah everything he owed since he now had money. (Hence melamed Gelt or Rebbi tipping).

We give gifts bshita. It's something our family has done for at least 5 generations. And we really don't appreciate being told that we're keeping a "gyishe" minhag.

amother

DarkViolet

Yesterday at 5:27 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

Lol, I came to the USA from the Ukraine in the 90s. I can attest to receiving chanuka gelt from my grandparents for chanuka. When I was little the money was given to my mother to buy me anything she thought I needed. But the point is, chanuka gelt was actual gelt, the authentic type of chanuka present.