Hosting | Imamother

amother

Moonstone

Yesterday at 4:47 am

Def not identifying- I’m going through the same thing

Looks like I’ll be hosting, paying for paper goods, paying our share of food, paying for drinks and dealing with set up . I’m not happy about it but generally love the people so I’m not gonna complain

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 4:52 am

amother Crimson wrote:

Its s generic and common enoigh question! Could apply to lots of people as chanukah parties approach!

Thanks for reassuring! Anyway to “unreport”?

amother

Ballota

Yesterday at 5:03 am

I host every year and I also make some of the food because we just don't have enough people capable of willing to make all the food.
If I could just host that would still be plenty of a contribution in my eyes but it just doesn't end up that way.

Simple1

Yesterday at 5:23 am

It's not necessarily always the biggest contribution to host without giving anything else and could be just the opposite depending on the situation. Think of a family with a bunch of kids including a toddler. It can be a huge shlep to pack everyone into a car and drive somewhere. Even more so if there's travel time. And if the host has regular cleaning help, it can be not such a big deal and so convenient to bring the party to them. Obviously for others it can be very difficult to host.

But honestly I never heard of such an arrangement. Most of the time - right or wrong - the host makes the party and everyone asks her about what they can bring. Every dynamic is different so do what works for you.

I say this based on that the hostess actually gives nothing but the house. But I see people posting about renting chairs and tables - that definitely counts for something. (I have a smaller extended family so we never do that.)

amother

Milk ↓

Yesterday at 5:40 am

I think it depends what is being hosted and what needs to be done for whatever the event is.
I am hosting in my house today, probably about 20 people. In general, my siblings usually hosts, but a majority of the people coming today live closer to me, so it just makes more sense.
In addition to hosting, I am also getting/making:
Bagels/bread
Scrambled eggs
Cream cheese/butter
Two small cheese platters (the ready made ones you can buy at the grocery store)
Drinks
Plates

My siblings and I all help with the food and paper goods when we host, even the one who hosts.

amother

↑ Milk

Yesterday at 5:59 am

ChutzPAh wrote:

I never heard of just supplying your house and providing nothing else.

The only time I heard of this is if you are giving your house for an event. Like if let’s say there is a melava Malka for something and the person/organization is taking care of everything and they just need a place. It never would occur to me to not participate if it is a family thing.

amother

Darkblue

Yesterday at 3:46 pm

amother Moonstone wrote:

You are a good person and much better than me.

I am the oldest by quite a bit and my siblings have suggested that we have parties, but clearly expect me to do most of the work. Those parties tend to not happen. I'm always happy to host and to do part of the work but I don't have any interest in doing all the heavy lifting. They have gotten better about taking a share of the work now.

amother

Blueberry

Yesterday at 3:52 pm

Am I the only one who thinks that giving your house is the biggest contribution?
My brother and SIL host most family events as their house is the most convenient per location and size, and everyone usually brings something. Although they often provide much of the food as well, sometimes they can't and I never understand SIL being apologetic about that. It is MUCH easier to bring one or two dishes than to set up, host and clean up, never mind when there are young kids in the house!
I host about once a year and it is wonderful but exhausting, and I really appreciate the hosts willingness to have our large clan more than once!

And if you are my SIL (probably not but possible, I guess) - thank you!!