Hosting | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 10:54 pm

If one is hosting a family event, is hosting considered a contribution if everyone else is responsible for bringing paper good, drinks, food etc and the host is not doing anything else?

simcha12plus

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 10:57 pm

host isn’t doing ANYTHING?

setting up, cleaning up
toilet paper, soap
garbage bags
paper towels
salt,
water

even if not, some times, giving your home is the most you are able to do

amother

DarkRed

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 10:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

If one is hosting a family event, is hosting considered a contribution if everyone else is responsible for bringing paper good, drinks, food etc and the host is not doing anything else?

Even if all they do is provide their house for the party, yes it’s a contribution. It’s still a ton of work, making sure the house is clean before and after, things potentially getting broken, being the “hostess” and needing to check on guests needs throughout an event so it’s never stress free. It’s still hosting and that’s still work

amother

Topaz ↓

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 11:00 pm

I usually host the family events , yes I clean prepare etc and clean up after (and pay my cleaning lady extra to come the next day if she’s available) but I also contribute something. Just as much as everyone else. I do this for both sides of the family. On One side - my side - my siblings usually buy me a gift as a thank you , so at least that.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 11:00 pm

I appreciate everyone’s responses. Good to see this perspective. Thank you!

amother

Hawthorn ↓

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 11:01 pm

I usually also do the paper goods and plated salad so I can set the table before everyone comes.

amother

Indigo

Sat, Dec 21 2024, 11:03 pm

It’s by far the biggest job to give your house. Even if they do nothing else.

amother

Ruby

Yesterday at 12:22 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Why was this reported?

Yeah wondering too.

As to the question, it really depends on family dynamics at what it means to hosting. Will the hostess be providing drinks and paper goods? Even if not like others have said giving your house is work too and the cleaning lady coming for extra hours etc. although if the hostess can contribute a dish then that is of course a bonus.

amother

Bellflower

Yesterday at 12:24 am

Hosting itself is enough of a contribution. That being said, most get togethers that I’ve gone to where one person hosts, in my experience typically that person will also contribute one or more food items as well.

ittsamother

Yesterday at 12:31 am

When I hosted our family Purim party, I contributed drinks too because I figured what's the big deal about hosting?

Oh, it was so much work. We had to go out to the gemach to pick up tables and chairs, which was a lot of shlepping. Clean the house, set everything up- again, a lot of shlepping. Stay on top of my kids to make sure they didn't mess anything up. Watch all the kids be wild in my home, jump on our couches, kick our walls, drop food on our floor. Once the party was over it was a ton of cleanup and then we also were left with a ton of food to dispose of or put away.

It was a lot of work. I decided in future it's easier to just show up with a dish or two.

amother

↑ Hawthorn

Yesterday at 12:33 am

amother OP wrote:

If one is hosting a family event, is hosting considered a contribution if everyone else is responsible for bringing paper good, drinks, food etc and the host is not doing anything else?

When I host I spend a few hundred on renting tables and chairs (then add paper goods, then starter salad, drinks, sometimes the soup so hot liquid doesn't have to travel).

familyfirst

Yesterday at 12:39 am

Hosting is contributing

Having said that, it would be very very acceptable to contribute as well. (Not something g that takes time to prepare, like a dish, but drinks or some of the paper goods .)

And just a thought- paper goods is a huge expense nd shouldn’t be shouldered by one person. Someone contributing rice and someone else contributing all the paper goods, just seems… lopsided. Unless there is a disparity in their financial situations

amother

↑ Topaz

Yesterday at 1:10 am

I posted what my family does. My neighborhood doesn’t completely differently : My neighbors host a sheva brachos as following : one person hosts and either provides paper goods or one dish. Everyone else provides a dish or two, drinks etc. everyone keeps track of how much they spent and the total gets split evenly between us. And we also help set up and clean up.

Ihatepotatoes

Yesterday at 1:48 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Why was this reported?

Some people REALLY don't like paper goods.

Iymnok

Yesterday at 2:02 am

The one who buys the paper goods could drop them off a day or so before.
Anyone could come early to help set up, or stay later for cleanup.
(Even a soup could be brought early, but then it's on the host to heat it up.)
Even with that, hosting is a big job.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 7:15 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Why was this reported?

I reported to ask mods to delete. I realized a family member might be on here and figure what I’m talking about. I posted this when I frustrated and need to vent.

amother

Crimson

Yesterday at 7:43 am

amother OP wrote:

I reported to ask mods to delete. I realized a family member might be on here and figure what I’m talking about. I posted this when I frustrated and need to vent.

Its s generic and common enoigh question! Could apply to lots of people as chanukah parties approach!