Detention is punishment for parents

↑ Ruchel

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:33 am

amother OP wrote:

Mom's don't drive! So this means that we need to take a taxi to pick up our children & this can easily cost us $30-$40. How is that okay.

Same. I'd take the bus but I'd be FURIOUS

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:36 am

tweety1 wrote:

That's not entirely true. Dd high elementary. First year teacher 000 control. You're going to tell me that a class of 27 girls are all trouble makers?? Come on. Some teachers unfortunately do not have the knack to control.

Exactly. Even a very well behaved child will most like not sit quietly when most of the class is talking or laughing.....

joker

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:02 am

Does anyone else see a big diff in this regard with boys and girls schools? I see girls schools being ridiculous about expectations and punishments it's insane. But boys schools seem to look the other way on so many things and chalk it up to boys will be boys. Which is not ok on so many levels . As a parent I often have to step in and place consequences for my own child because they won't .

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:04 am

joker wrote:

I was just telling this to my husband!
Boys can come and go whenever they please. They can be absent from school, go late, leave early & no one has to call in. Why is it so strict by the girls schools? Why isn't it a thing by boys?

↑ keym ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:08 am

joker wrote:

I don't see that at all
The boys mesivtas that I send to are just as strict about things.
The one thing that the boys are more relaxed about us bathroom, drinks, coffee. Boys are allowed to leave if they need but the Menahel patrols the public areas if boys stay out to long.
But I contribute that in general to the fact that my understanding is that boys yeshiva classrooms are run more flexible. Boys are walking around getting seforim, the class is a more give and take with the Rebbi. So much time is chavrusa learning, and boys are encouraged to be loud and to pick the brains of other boys in the class. So a boy running out to the bathroom is not disturbing the decorum

But otherwise. The menahelim I know are just as enforcing - davening, class, leaving the building, chutzpa, dress code violations, rule book violations

↑ giftedmom

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:09 am

amother OP wrote:

My son now for the first year has to bring a note which is great. But I see several reasons to this.
1. Boys never have off, and they have much longer hours, so obviously any appts etc. will happen during school time. Ditto for coming late because they start so early. While girls have off Sundays/fridays and have short hours in general.
2. Boys dont do well with free time, so they and their parents will want them in cheder. While girls can just klutz or sleep all day while left to their own devices.
3. Men are more laid back with these things so the menhalim and rebbes aren’t so exacting
That’s just my theory though

↑ keym

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:26 am

keym wrote:

Eta what I mean is that the menahelim are on top of boys coming, leaving, etc .
But if my daughter has a Dr appt, she gets put through a whole "what kind of appointment, why couldn't you do it on vacation", my boys just tell the menahel "my mother took me to the Dr" and it's ok.

mha3484

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 11:33 am

I have 3 boys in 2nd-8th and a girl in K. I compare with my friends with girls and the boys schools seem to expect a lot less blind obedience overall. My 5 year old daughter got sent to the English principal for sticking her tongue out at another girl and if my boys did that the rebbe would be like and what? They don't make everything a drama.

I have an 8 year old son who is a great kid but he can not sit and he cannot be quiet. His rebbeim and teachers are amazing and really work with him, but I have heard many times over if you have the same profile in the girls school they make it a much bigger deal. I have a younger girl who is a carbon copy of my 8 year old and I am nervous for her when she gets to elementary school.

amother

Brunette

Yesterday at 10:17 pm

Detention is a punishment for students. Students don’t want to spend extra time in school doing an assignment. Something like being sent home from school is not a punishment for the students. Most students are happy to go home.

amother

Petunia

Yesterday at 10:22 pm

When I was a kid detention was fun and not a deterrent at all. We didn’t pay a fee and we are in a city where kids walked home so it wasn’t a punishment to the parents either. I wonder if they changed anything.

amother

Lawngreen

Yesterday at 11:55 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I know of schools who have a $50-100 fee. $5 is a joke. Someone has to get paid to sit with the child for an hour outside of hours.
I am not saying schools do no wrong but this kind of negative attitude about schools is really bad for your children

[b]

That's the school's issue, not parents who are trying to often make it through the month.

The principal could stay late and watch if it's that important. I've never paid, and I'm sure the school thinks I'm crazy, but no one has ever told me I can't pick up my child because it's obviously an absurd and crazy thing to tell a parent