Detention is punishment for parents

amother

Milk

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:09 am

amother Clear wrote:

I grew up in public school
In my school detention was in school suspension
It was during school hours
In the morning the students needed to do school work from the missed classes
In the afternoon they were put to work cleaning the cafeteria or kitchen
No one wanted that work

Students went home on the school bus

It was during class time?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:11 am

imaima wrote:

The point is to inconvenience you so you work with your dd from home to ensure that she doesn’t inconvenience you like that again. It’s an incentive for parents to deal with issues at home

I disagree. I do my part by calling in whenever my kids will be late to school.
Some teachers mark the students late for every tiny thing & they end up having to sit detention for no reason. My daughter had to sit detention. She didn't have any lates marked on her report card. She asked why she has to come to detention, and was told "I don't know."
I'm talking about junior high here, not high school girls. 6th-8th grade.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:12 am

notshanarishona wrote:

I know of schools who have a $50-100 fee. $5 is a joke. Someone has to get paid to sit with the child for an hour outside of hours.
I am not saying schools do no wrong but this kind of negative attitude about schools is really bad for your children

In my kids school, no one sits with the girls. They come in, daven, do a worksheet & done.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:15 am

Detention and parents need to pick up def is more punishing to parents than the student.
But a $5 fee, let the student pay for it!
In my daughters school, you get 3 free passes for coming late for any reason (other than a emergencies, sick leave or something really valid) after that, you need to pay $10 for 3 more passes.

My 6th grader is a super easygoing nature and also a little tardy. Last term she used up all he passes for silly reasons, like she went to see my aunt who works in the school in a different building on campus and wasn't back on time and stuff like that.
But she always manages to avoid consequences. She's such a stinker.
Honestly, I WANTED her to have to get a new sheet of passes becuase I wanted her to once and for all get the message.
And yes it 100% would come from her own cash.
But alas, last week a new term started and that means a new sheet of passes.....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:15 am

amother Emerald wrote:

It's supposed to be inconvenient so you actually care about how your child behaves. Otherwise parents wouldn't care at all and it would all be on the school. You're the oarent, you're responsible to raise your child so they behave like a decent person. If they don't, you gotta deal with the consequences.
And to the person who wrote the teacher can't control a classroom... that's exactly the type of parents... blaming it all on the teacher. A well raised child behaves even with a teacher who can't control a classroom. Plenty of kids behave well. And those who don't..It's bad parenting or ADHD or some other issue. Teachers are supposed to TEACH. Not having to control kids. It's not a zoo, it's a school.

Detention or a child's behavior in school, doesn't have much to do with the way the parents parent. It has more to do with the competence of the teacher.
My kids school doesn't give detention for misbehavior. Detention is for unexcused lates. And some teachers mark a child late because their white out used up & they didn't have another one.....

amother

↑ Pear ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:40 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes, I remember when my daughter was sent out by a sub for not having her book, which she could not get because she couldn't reach her locker and someone had removed the chair that was kept near the lockers for that purpose....

Her elementary school didn't have detentions though (AFAIK - never heard of it.)

amother

Tuberose

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:46 am

Detention for being late is stupid. It's not realistic to expect kids to be on time every day. Are you never late for work or appointments as an adult?
I had to travel over 45 minutes to get to highschool. It involved a bus ride (or 25 minute walk because the bus wasn't reliable and sometimes was slower than walking) then a train ride and then more walking.

When everything ran on time, it worked. When it was raining or there was random traffic or a train delay, we were late. She wouldn't excuse us if public transportation ran late. It got to the point that I wouldn't go to school if I was running late because I didn't want to sit detention. My mother just wrote a note that I was sick - that didn't have consequences.

↑ keym ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:54 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

In my school and my daughter's school, it's not just coming late in the morning.
The morning for davening PLUS 9 daily periods.
And if you're waiting after Chumash to talk to Mrs Schwartz but give up and run to math but show up after Mrs Fried walked in, marked late.
And if you wait on line for the bathroom and come late, marked late.
And if the teacher says "where were you" and you answered bathroom, the teacher will say "unexcused, organize yourself better, everyone else managed to come on time".
Each of these latenesses get marked down. Over a semester, they can add up to quite a significant detention

amother

↑ Holly

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 9:58 am

amother Tuberose wrote:

My daughter's school excuses traffic and other unavoidable delays.
Not in Lakewood, in town. Most girls walk.

giftedmom ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:02 am

amother Emerald wrote:

I’m always afraid for people who preach like this because those words may very well come back and bite you one day

amother

Peru ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:05 am

amother OP wrote:

that's bizarre. never heard of that but if the parents are driving I guess that is their responsibility but doesn't sound like a sensible school.

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:07 am

giftedmom wrote:

I’m always afraid for people who preach like this because those words may very well come back and bite you one day

to me suspension makes more sense then detention even though that also punishes the parents because it makes sense, you can't be here if you can't behave, but that's just me.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:10 am

amother Peru wrote:

that's bizarre. never heard of that but if the parents are driving I guess that is their responsibility but doesn't sound like a sensible school.

Mom's don't drive! So this means that we need to take a taxi to pick up our children & this can easily cost us $30-$40. How is that okay.

↑ giftedmom ↓

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:10 am

amother Peru wrote:

to me suspension makes more sense then detention even though that also punishes the parents because it makes sense, you can't be here if you can't behave, but that's just me.

I’m in the city so I can’t talk. Detention and suspension is only a punishment on the kid and absolutely if there’s a fine it comes out of their money.

tweety1

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:12 am

imaima wrote:

This. A well-behaved child doesn’t need to be controlled.

That's not entirely true. Dd high elementary. First year teacher 000 control. You're going to tell me that a class of 27 girls are all trouble makers?? Come on. Some teachers unfortunately do not have the knack to control.

amother

↑ Pear

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:12 am

keym wrote:

This exactly.
And even if Mrs. Schwartz tells you to stay out of class to help with setup for a school activity, Mrs. Fried didn't get the message and marked you late. While you are explaining the situation to the school Compliance secretary, you are marked late for yet another class. Your teacher dismisses your class late past the bell because she didn't finish her lesson, you run and are late to the line in the bathroom and you have your period, you are late to the next class.....

amother

↑ Peru

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:29 am

amother OP wrote:

Mom's don't drive! So this means that we need to take a taxi to pick up our children & this can easily cost us $30-$40. How is that okay.

as I said I think its a ridiculous policy. never heard of such a thing.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Dec 20 2024, 10:32 am

What happens if you don't cooperate with the detention? Friday afternoon is definitely not an ok time to put an extra burden on a family.

My children's schools don't have this. One school does punish unexcused lateness by making kids come in early. It really only affects the kids who live close enough to school to walk because they can't punish kids who come late by bus or carpool since they have no control over that. So early detention requires them to take responsibility for themselves to get up earlier than they usually do to encourage them to be on time regularly.