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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Detention is punishment for parents
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amother
OP  


 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2024, 11:32 pm
Ww need to drop everything & pick up the child after detention, and pay a $5 detention fee. Why are parents punished for detention??
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amother
Wisteria


 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2024, 11:37 pm
I agree
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amother
Dandelion


 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2024, 11:42 pm
Make your child pay or earn the money. Follow up with consequences at home so it doesn’t happen again.
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amother
Gardenia


 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2024, 11:43 pm
Same with knasim!!!
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Thu, Dec 19 2024, 11:43 pm
I agree.

They have to go on Friday's usually. There's no school then so no busses.
I don't drive. A car from my house to the school is a bomb of money.

They have to pay more than 5 dollars detention fee.

But then again I don't have a better treatment plan and this daughter that it keeps happening to... well let's just say that she is a lot of fun. Wink

Im happy they don't kick her out once a month.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 12:17 am
amother Dandelion wrote:
Make your child pay or earn the money. Follow up with consequences at home so it doesn’t happen again.


I don't mean specifically my child, just the school policy. This is Junior high, young girls.
Mom's may not drive, so this means spending money on a taxi, plus detention fee. How does it make sense?
And I don't see reason to give additional consequences at home for a child that has detention at school. That's absurd. The consequence is detention.
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amother
DarkMagenta  


 

Post Yesterday at 12:18 am
amother OP wrote:
Ww need to drop everything & pick up the child after detention, and pay a $5 detention fee. Why are parents punished for detention??


💯
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amother
  DarkMagenta  


 

Post Yesterday at 12:19 am
amother Dandelion wrote:
Make your child pay or earn the money. Follow up with consequences at home so it doesn’t happen again.


As if it was so simple…
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notshanarishona  




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 12:26 am
$5 is more of a token fee than anything else. I would ask kid to pay
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amother
  DarkMagenta


 

Post Yesterday at 12:35 am
notshanarishona wrote:
$5 is more of a token fee than anything else. I would ask kid to pay


It’s the picking up that’s the problem. Who are they punishing when I need to drive a half hour (15 min each way) to get my kid???

I agree with the fact that I wouldn’t want to punish at home (double punishment) especially because he keeps getting in trouble by a teacher that has zero control of the class. It’s like they set the kids up to fail. (No, I don’t tell him that. It just makes it extra frustrating.)
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imaima  




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 12:51 am
amother OP wrote:
I don't mean specifically my child, just the school policy. This is Junior high, young girls.
Mom's may not drive, so this means spending money on a taxi, plus detention fee. How does it make sense?
And I don't see reason to give additional consequences at home for a child that has detention at school. That's absurd. The consequence is detention.

The point is to inconvenience you so you work with your dd from home to ensure that she doesn’t inconvenience you like that again. It’s an incentive for parents to deal with issues at home
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amother
NeonPink


 

Post Yesterday at 1:11 am
I don't think it's fair for the parents, especially on a short Friday.
I'm not able to drive my daughter 15 minutes each way with other kids home, lots of stuff to do.
Why can't they do it on a weekday. Make the girls come in earlier or stay later.
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amother
Winterberry  


 

Post Yesterday at 1:14 am
This is absolutely sick. What is that, a $5 redemption fee? Jail? This is no way to educate a Neshama. The state of schools is abismal if this is what it's come to.
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camp123




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 2:30 am
Do you have a better way to keep kids disciplined. Detention should be a deterrent and shouldn't happen often, but when you have a school with no punishment, no learning gets done.
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Yesterday at 3:41 am
[quote="amother DarkMagenta"]It’s the picking up that’s the problem. Who are they punishing when I need to drive a half hour (15 min each way) to get my kid???

I agree with the fact that I wouldn’t want to punish at home (double punishment) especially because he keeps getting in trouble by a teacher that has zero control of the class. It’s like they set the kids up to fail. (No, I don’t tell him that. It just makes it extra frustrating.)[/quo
Are you saying that it's the teachers fault your son is getting into trouble?
And no, the teachers don't set up they kids to fail.
Parents who don't do their job in parenting is setting up their kids to fail in the future.
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  imaima  




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 3:57 am
amother Winterberry wrote:
This is absolutely sick. What is that, a $5 redemption fee? Jail? This is no way to educate a Neshama. The state of schools is abismal if this is what it's come to.

Yes this is really crazy
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  notshanarishona  




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 4:00 am
amother DarkMagenta wrote:
It’s the picking up that’s the problem. Who are they punishing when I need to drive a half hour (15 min each way) to get my kid???

I agree with the fact that I wouldn’t want to punish at home (double punishment) especially because he keeps getting in trouble by a teacher that has zero control of the class. It’s like they set the kids up to fail. (No, I don’t tell him that. It just makes it extra frustrating.)


I totally get that.. at the same time, detention is usually used as a deterrent for severe or repetitive behaviors. Trust me it’s not easy for a teacher to stay late either.
But if lets say going to the office is the first step, and that doesn’t work (and that also means missing school), typically next step is lunch or recess detention (which I am not a fan of because messes up their whole day), then comes detention.
The other thing is the school assumes if a parent is inconvenient they will work hard to get their kid to stop the behavior.
I am sorry your sons having a hard year. Having a teacher who can’t control the class is the worst.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Yesterday at 5:19 am
It's supposed to be inconvenient so you actually care about how your child behaves. Otherwise parents wouldn't care at all and it would all be on the school. You're the oarent, you're responsible to raise your child so they behave like a decent person. If they don't, you gotta deal with the consequences.
And to the person who wrote the teacher can't control a classroom... that's exactly the type of parents... blaming it all on the teacher. A well raised child behaves even with a teacher who can't control a classroom. Plenty of kids behave well. And those who don't..It's bad parenting or ADHD or some other issue. Teachers are supposed to TEACH. Not having to control kids. It's not a zoo, it's a school.
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  imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 5:20 am
amother Emerald wrote:
It's supposed to be inconvenient so you actually care about how your child behaves. Otherwise parents wouldn't care at all and it would all be on the school. You're the oarent, you're responsible to raise your child so they behave like a decent person. If they don't, you gotta deal with the consequences.
And to the person who wrote the teacher can't control a classroom... that's exactly the type of parents... blaming it all on the teacher. A well raised child behaves even with a teacher who can't control a classroom. Plenty of kids behave well. And those who don't..It's bad parenting or ADHD or some other issue. Teachers are supposed to TEACH. Not having to control kids. It's not a zoo, it's a school.

This. A well-behaved child doesn’t need to be controlled.
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  notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 6:54 am
amother Winterberry wrote:
This is absolutely sick. What is that, a $5 redemption fee? Jail? This is no way to educate a Neshama. The state of schools is abismal if this is what it's come to.


I know of schools who have a $50-100 fee. $5 is a joke. Someone has to get paid to sit with the child for an hour outside of hours.
I am not saying schools do no wrong but this kind of negative attitude about schools is really bad for your children
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