3 year old son m-sturbating

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 4:27 pm

Reaching out to the experienced imas here for advice.
My almost 3 year old boy has lately started m-sturbating. Obviously not releasing anything, just laying on his stomach and touching down there and shaking his body..(he gets a little hard too I think)
I know, I know , I also thought it starts at age 8-10, not 3
But according to Google it's normal for young kids to do that here and there. It's not s-xual, just a normal part of body discovery. But lately he's been doing it non stop.
Every night in bed.
When he comes home from school he goes to bed and does it instead of playing with his siblings.
If I try to distract him he tells me to leave the room.
He's otherwise a healthy adjusted kid living in a healthy happy home, and he's happy in school.
How do I deal with this??

amother

Trillium

Yesterday at 4:31 pm

I wasn’t too alarmed until I read this “ But lately he's been doing it non stop.
Every night in bed. When he comes home from school he goes to bed and does it instead of playing with his siblings.
If I try to distract him he tells me to leave the room.”
This is next level. I would most definitely get to the bottom of it ASAP! (Not from imamother- from professionals in this field!) My main concern would be- Who brought this awareness to him?? Has someone been demonstrating it on him and he’s mimicking the action? It may be normal for a little kid to feel themselves but def not to that extent!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 4:46 pm

I know!
I was also worried it might be abuse, so I asked him earlier today in an offhand casual way if his rebbi in school ever touches him, or if any kids touch him, and he said no.
He’s too young to lie to me without me realizing, so I trust that answer.
And at home he definitely does not see this.
(I don’t have big kids, only 6 and under, and he’s my only boy)
I don’t even know who to reach out to, thats why I’m trying my luck here if anyone has experience with this

amother

Firethorn

Yesterday at 4:52 pm

My 18 month old does the same whenever I change his diaper he goes straight there and plays with himself and gets hard....no one touches him there and he didnt see it anywhere else. I'm guessing he discovered it feels good idk

amother

Chocolate

Yesterday at 4:54 pm

It’s normal to explore in the bath on the toilet or in bed while falling asleep. It is not normal to run to do it all day and not want to do anything else. I’d discuss with the pediatrician or a child psychologist.

amother

Honeydew

Yesterday at 4:54 pm

It's normal to an extent but the amount he is doing it is not normal. My son also rubbed there from infancy but never to the extent of doing it for a long period of time instead of playing.
I am not sure how to proceed, just sharing my thoughts.

amother

Wisteria

Yesterday at 4:55 pm

I had this with my daughter when she was younger. I think it just feels good and is comforting. After school he’s tired from a long day and it’s probably a comfort ritual. My daughter did this from ages 3-5 and then she completely stopped.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 5:50 pm

amother Wisteria wrote:

That makes sense, that he needs a comfort after school. He comes home very tired.
I guess I’ll try to provide him with other comforts, and if he doesn’t stop doing it excessively in a few weeks I’ll reach out to a professional as the others said

zissy2004

Today at 3:46 am

amother OP wrote:

I would start with discussing it with his pediatrician. She might have some insight. Good luck!

amother

Chestnut

Today at 4:03 am

Can you put him on your lap when he comes home and massage his shoulders and back? See what happens… if he’ll go play with everyone afterwards?
If he still goes to his room even after getting attention from mommy and physical contact then I would call a professional and not wait another few weeks.

amother

Molasses

Today at 6:40 am

That should be addressed, you may need an experienced private OT
Very often these things are sensory, they need the feeling, the input, and it's on the midline so it's a very strong trigger point
Somewhat akin to kids who are constantly picking their nose...
Just putting the awareness out that it may be something for an OT

amother

NeonBlue

Today at 6:52 am

amother Molasses wrote:

Sorry to hijack but can you say more about midline being a trigger point? I'm curious about that.

OP this can be a sign of histamine issues. Maybe look it up and see if it sounds like your son may be dealing with this.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 7:19 am

amother Chestnut wrote:

Can you put him on your lap when he comes home and massage his shoulders and back? See what happens… if he’ll go play with everyone afterwards?
If he still goes to his room even after getting attention from mommy and a physical contact then I would call a professional and not wait another few weeks.

I’ll try that, thanks for the idea!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 7:21 am

amother Molasses wrote:

He is a sensory kid, I’ll try to calm him after school with other sensory things, like a massage or a bubble bath, and see how that goes

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 7:22 am

amother Poppy wrote:

Maybe he has some kind of infection down there? Does he touch it other than when he’s in his room?

I don’t think he has an infection there. He doesn’t touch otherwise , and doesn’t complain that something hurts him

amother

Cyclamen

Today at 7:45 am

amother Molasses wrote:

It's interesting you mention picking nose and the midline. I have a really sensory seeking kid who's always picking his nose. I never considered it's related. He touches himself too but not for extended times only on occasion when I help him get dressed. Would you explain more about the midline?

amother

↑ OP

Today at 7:48 am

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Interesting, my son is also constantly picking his nose
I guess there is a connection