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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
I hate schools



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amother
OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 9:43 pm
My adhd child is seriously struggling in school. I want to just pull him out and not put him through this. Please give me some chizuk.
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amother
Skyblue  


 

Post Yesterday at 9:48 pm
Sometimes it is the best thing to do. Really.

What's going on?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 9:51 pm
amother Skyblue wrote:
Sometimes it is the best thing to do. Really.

What's going on?

Really is it? He just isn't functioning in the classroom well, he is very reactive, and a lot of dysregulation. I feel like they can't handle him. I can't afford a shadow. Getting called multiple times a week.
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amother
  Skyblue


 

Post Yesterday at 10:04 pm
There are two families I know who pulled their adhd sons out for a few years in lower elementary. They got them all the services they were able to and put them back in when they were a little older and more mature. But they both had a sahm or a work from home parent with flexibility to do homeschooling.

It turned out better for them than many other families I know.

Its pure torture for the child and the parents to get called and sent home multiple times a week. Sometimes it causes bigger problems to snowball.

Most schools are very much not prepared to handle adhd. And most rebbeim and teachers are not willing to.

Its not just you. Tons of people go through what you are experiencing.

The child isn't bad. The child is wired how they are and have needs that do not coincide with the way school is generally run.
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amother
Tulip


 

Post Yesterday at 10:05 pm
My 12yo ADHD/autistic son isn’t in school at all, none of the local schools (even the frum special ed school!) would take him.

Homeschooling isn’t easy when your child just wishes he could be a normal kid in a classroom with friends.
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shaqued_almond




 
 
    
 

Post Yesterday at 10:08 pm
Homeschooling is a good option if you can be really devoted to his style of learning but it can take some time to figure it out. There are no easy solutions unfortunately. If you pull him out he needs a very consistent schedule.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 10:08 pm
amother Skyblue wrote:
There are two families I know who pulled their adhd sons out for a few years in lower elementary. They got them all the services they were able to and put them back in when they were a little older and more mature. But they both had a sahm or a work from home parent with flexibility to do homeschooling.

It turned out better for them than many other families I know.

Its pure torture for the child and the parents to get called and sent home multiple times a week. Sometimes it causes bigger problems to snowball.

Most schools are very much not prepared to handle adhd. And most rebbeim and teachers are not willing to.

Its not just you. Tons of people go through what you are experiencing.

The child isn't bad. The child is wired how they are and have needs that do not coincide with the way school is generally run.

I wish I could just homeschool for the year, but I have to work. I feel like I am wasting so much money on tuition to just have him be miserable and not doing well.
We don't have many issues at home/ we can handle his issues so it is so difficult to see him have so many issues at school.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Yesterday at 10:10 pm
How old is he?
Where do you live?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 10:10 pm
shaqued_almond wrote:
Homeschooling is a good option if you can be really devoted to his style of learning but it can take some time to figure it out. There are no easy solutions unfortunately. If you pull him out he needs a very consistent schedule.

I think he would thrive with me homeschooling which makes him struggling in school be so much more difficult.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 10:11 pm
amother Olive wrote:
How old is he?
Where do you live?

Oot. Not comfortable saying where. He is in 1st.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Yesterday at 10:18 pm
Most children do not belong in school. It is not just your child. Children come on all shapes but schools are only boxes and each child is forced into a box that thwy might not fit in. Same put up tremendous resistance as they are being forced into the wrong shape where they truly do not fit.
If home schooling doesnt work for you even part of the day which is totally understandable if it doesn't you need to be the devils advocate and be ss creative as possible to get the school on board to make these years a positive experience socially and emotionally for your child. Academics are nice but most importantly is your child's social emotional well-being
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amother
Caramel


 

Post Yesterday at 10:19 pm
Op are you me? I could literally say all the same things word for word. Its literally a terrible situation. I get emails from the teachers almost daily with complaints and my son is miserable too
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Yesterday at 10:23 pm
amother Tangerine wrote:
Most children do not belong in school. It is not just your child. Children come on all shapes but schools are only boxes and each child is forced into a box that thwy might not fit in. Same put up tremendous resistance as they are being forced into the wrong shape where they truly do not fit.
If home schooling doesnt work for you even part of the day which is totally understandable if it doesn't you need to be the devils advocate and be ss creative as possible to get the school on board to make these years a positive experience socially and emotionally for your child. Academics are nice but most importantly is your child's social emotional well-being

He also struggles with social interaction. He has a hard time in group activities and in participating. He just wants to do his own thing. He explodes when he feels behind or things like that.

I totally agree that his social emotional well being is #1. I don't feel like the school feels the same. We have spoken countless times since the beginning of the year and I have had many good interactions from them.
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Yesterday at 10:25 pm
Have you tried therapy and medication for him?
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amother
  OP


 

Post Yesterday at 10:26 pm
amother Yolk wrote:
Have you tried therapy and medication for him?

He is in therapy and on meds.
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amother
Milk


 

Post Yesterday at 10:32 pm
amother OP wrote:
He also struggles with social interaction. He has a hard time in group activities and in participating. He just wants to do his own thing. He explodes when he feels behind or things like that.


It does sound like he could benefit from a really good shadow. I don’t know what state you’re in but some will cover the costs for students with IEP
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