Why is Chanukah a time for tipping

amother

Broom ↓

Yesterday at 6:29 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

I don't think its about "tipping". It's about showing appreciation for people who teach your child day in and day out.

As an adult your paycheck should be your appreciation. I work in public school and never even get a thank you. That's ok. I work for my paycheck.

amother

Strawberry

Yesterday at 6:59 pm

amother Burgundy wrote:

In our school they write who gave on the card

That’s disgusting!! I’ve been class mother many many times for my kids classes and never ever did I write names on the card. Why does anyone have to know that so and so can’t afford to give anything?!

amother

Oleander

Yesterday at 7:20 pm

The school I work in also gave out letters.
They are not DEMANDING anything (sounds so harsh!)
They are merely reminding mothers to show appreciation to the Morahs.
If you don't have money, give a nice card and a two dollar donut.
Ze hu
also, the 'demanding letter' isn't coming from the teacher, its from the hanhala.

amother

↑ Darkblue

Yesterday at 7:24 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

You don't need to remind me to show appreciation. I pick up my daughter every day and tell the teacher thank you for giving her a great day! Or on Monday I'll thank then for the adorable parsha crafts etc

I have a sneaky suspicion that is NOT what they mean when they "remind us to show appreciation." They mean cold hard cash.

The note says (and it is underlined for emphasis) we ask our parents to send a personal note and a monetary token of appreciationkn

amother

↑ Azalea ↓

Yesterday at 7:31 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

Do you really think that they would be sending this note home if it wouldn't be about the money?

amother

Mint

Yesterday at 7:32 pm

I wouldn’t be so quick to throw teachers under the bus.
I have only one kid in preschool and I need to tip all her teachers - I’m tipping the same amount I’m going to end up getting. People with more kids won’t even be getting anything because all of it and more goes to their kids teachers.

I have mixed feelings about it because in the one hand, yes us teachers are extremely underpaid and giving our heart and souls for your children. Like I literally am constantly thinking about my students and how I can make things better for them. A little appreciation and recognition does go a long way.
On the other hand, it gets so so expensive to pay this much per teacher! Only the teachers without kids are really getting money out of it. I personally would love a handwritten note, I had a mother who also gave me a small gift with it which was so sweet but at the end of the day, it means a lot to be acknowledged and money is not the only way to do that.

amother

↑ Azalea ↓

Yesterday at 7:35 pm

amother Mint wrote:

I've got a great idea. PTA is usually around chanukah time. Why don't they put a large card at every teachers table and the parents can write short messages of appreciation while they wait on line.

Win-win. Teachers get their appreciation, and mothers don't need to wait idly while waiting for their turn.

amother

↑ Broom ↓

Yesterday at 7:42 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

Love this!

amother

↑ Azalea

Yesterday at 7:42 pm

amother Mint wrote:

Just want to add that I do agree that teachers are underpaid and work hard. What irk me is the way the school goes about it.

The way they demand it, and the way they word their messages is so off-putting. Does the school want the teachers to get bonuses, or is truly recognition they're after?

If it's the former, then it's on the school to give their employees bonuses, not the parents. If it's truly appreciation they're after, then a gentle message is sufficient. And recognize that appreciation is optional.

amother

Antiquewhite

Yesterday at 7:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

My school sent home a paper reminding us that Chanukah is about "lhodos ulhalel" and therefore please gift the Rebbeim, teachers, therapists and secretaries generously.
I don't get it. It's a time "lhodos ulhalel" towards Hashem. Since when towards the teachers

I have a lot of appreciation. But very little money. And I hate this pressure and this feeling (implied or explicit) that my child will be treated differently if the teacher or therapist does or doesn't get a generous enough gift.

When I saw the title I figured you were talking about non Jewish people (cleaning ladies, school security guards etc) and I was going to say "because they celebrate Xmas and it's a nice way to show appreciation!" But at a Jewish school?? I think that's totally inappropriate. I wouldn't give a tip. For what it's worth I can't imagine that teachers would treat your child differently. If they do, they probably were not great teachers to begin with.

amother

Natural ↓

Yesterday at 8:24 pm

amother Broom wrote:

As an adult your paycheck should be your appreciation. I work in public school and never even get a thank you. That's ok. I work for my paycheck.

Public school systems generally don’t permit individual gifts of any value because of all of the potential issues.

amother

↑ DarkViolet ↓

Yesterday at 8:27 pm

amother Broom wrote:

As an adult your paycheck should be your appreciation. I work in public school and never even get a thank you. That's ok. I work for my paycheck.

A paycheck isn't appreciation...that's a given when you sign a contract.

amother

↑ DarkViolet

Yesterday at 8:29 pm

amother Azalea wrote:

And therefore appreciation has to be done in form of $$$ or at a specific arbitrary time?

Not at all. Appreciation should honestly be shown way more often and not have to wait until chanukah. Giving gelt is extra nice and special if you can afford it.

amother

↑ Natural

Yesterday at 9:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

What are those issues? Are they not a concern in a private school?

Most obvious is favoritism for certain children

Children of less affluent families feeling less than

In general public employees aren't allowed to take gratuities of value because of the potential for corruption.

I have a close friend who sent to an expensive private secular school and individual gifts also weren't permitted but they did do a class gift. While there might be social pressure to donate to the class gift there was no public exposure as the card was signed by the "class"

amother

Waterlily

Yesterday at 11:39 pm

My kids school also sent out something. They have a whole computerized form to tip every staff member, but not the Rebbeim-- because "Rebeim should get personalized thanks" ( code word for generous tip).

BH, we can afford it, but I really don't like it. What about parents who cant? I feel like I'd rather pay an extra $500 in tuition so the teachers care get paid a normal salary rather than being g asked for money regularly.

This is the 2nd time this year I was asked for money--- there was also a pre y"t bonus campaign.
In the kosher money podcast, on the episode with the school director from Baltimore, she mentions this-- not asking parents for money throughout the year.