Chanukah Gift daughter in Law

↑ watergirl ↓

Today at 2:23 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

You don't appreciate useful things like the said cork screw, mug and cutting board? You have zero use for them?
You may regift them if you don't like them.
Many DIL's don't get anything from their MIL's. Would you prefer that?

I'm not that amother. But no, those things are not gifts for a person, they are kitchen items. They are not gifts that are appropriate to give a DIL. I am not my kitchen. And if I am going to get a mug, a cutting board, I want to pick it out myself. My MIL does give me stuff like this and yes, I give it away each time.

amother

Whitewash

Today at 2:37 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

A brand name perfume. My daughter got from her mil and she loves it
We are Hungarian so brands make a difference.
You have to know if she's the type.

I was going to say this. A good perfume.
Something personal. Or a gift card to eat out.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 2:57 pm

watergirl wrote:

Items that you actually have a *use* of aren't appropriate? Would you rather have things that just look nice but collect dust? But I get your point.

↑ watergirl

Today at 3:08 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Items that you actually have a *use* of aren't appropriate? Would you rather have things that just look nice but collect dust? But I get your point.

In my opinion, it is not appropriate to give somebody these kinds of household knickknacks as a chanukah or birthday gift.

If my mother-in-law noticed that my canopy her did not work well and she wanted to pick up a new one for my kitchen, that’s lovely and thoughtful. But it’s not a chanukah gift.

Eta, One year, my mother-in-law gave us a dog leash with a flashlight attached for chanukah. Somewhat useful, but weird. The following year, my husband was thinking of the dog leash and he gave my mother-in-law and father-in-law each their own windshield snow scraper with a very soft and warm thing that goes over the handle. He assumed it was along the same lines so he went for it and guess who was insulted and let us know?

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Dec 17 2024, 3:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Foxglove

Today at 3:11 pm

amother Plum wrote:

I would be careful with buying cookbook, domo and the like, unless it was something she specifically asked for, or you know she's missing. Otherwise she might not appreciate it.
I got as a gift a beautiful hadlokos neiros card/bentcher that I use every week. And they gave dh a havdala one.
Personalized stuff is also cute-assuming she would use it-water bottle, make-up bag that type of thing. Best DIL mug filled with chocolates?

I would love a cookbook. You can always include a gift receipt to exchange.

amother

↑ Acacia

Today at 3:33 pm

watergirl wrote:

I hear it’s not for everyone. But I personally love gifts for the home. I’m a very practical person and money is tight and I really appreciate things like kitchen items decorative stuff that I wouldn’t necessarily buy for myself. Not so into manicures and massages.

amother

↑ Geranium ↓

Today at 3:56 pm

familyfirst wrote:

To the daughter In law who mocked the mother in law gifts-

Actually- you should be ashamed of yourself. Your mother Iin law bought gifts to show her love. They were all items that are useable. She meant well. No, they’re not personal personal but they show she thought of her family.

She doesn’t owe you a gift. You married her son. I hope you bought her something.

Wow you have no idea. I'm sure you'd say something else if you'd see how it goes down. She's muttering about who needs presents anyway whats the point while giving it. It doesn't make anyone feel appreciated or cared for in any way. Personally, I'd be happier for her to skip it than make me feel like 2 cents for "needing" it. And thanx for asking, yes, I do buy her gifts.

amother

↑ Geranium ↓

Today at 4:03 pm

watergirl wrote:

BH she does not hate me, nor is she a survivor of anything that I know of. I am a second wife, remarried now more than double the time her son was married to his ex. Almost 20 years. I know she is mad his ex never gave back the gifts she'd given her (why would she give back her weird gifts? but that's her, she feels gifts go back to the giver in every scenario).

But the point is that not every MIL is being thoughtful when they give gifts. You have to know the person. Sometimes they really are trying to be sweet when they give you an umbrella stand or corkscrew opener. Sometimes it's a mean gesture. You have to know the MIL.

Thank you for getting it. It's all about how it's given. If I felt like she saw a cute lemon juicer that was a few dollars and was like ooh I must get that for dil cuz I know she's into fresh lemon juice, then I'd appreciate it. But since she's just doing it cuz she feels obligated and just buying whatever catches her eye in 5 below, together With all the eye rolling and muttering that goes together with the gift-giving, then yes I'd prefer not to get it at all. I wish she wouldn't give me anything rather than walking out feeling like that.

amother

↑ Cadetblue

Today at 4:45 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

Well I see your point then. What's wrong with her?

Is it aimed to you or to everyone?

amother

↑ Geranium

Today at 5:15 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Well I see your point then. What's wrong with her?

Is it aimed to you or to everyone?

I wish I knew, she must have some trauma around gifts because you should see the way she receives gifts! At least as bad as she gives them. Maybe worse.

amother

Olive

Today at 5:59 pm

Over the years, I've gotten from my MIL a wallet, perfume, body spray, Betty Crocker, scarf, umbrella, costume jewelry, more body spray, more perfume. She buys the same thing for all the women in the family. I appreciated them all!

mulberry

Today at 6:34 pm

I'm married a few years and gift ideas that I've received (or want to) from my mil include:
A piece of art from waterdale that I was eyeing (my husband told her)
new gloves (really warm, fur)
luggage (we hadn't gotten any)
matches container

amother

Orchid

Today at 6:55 pm

I think so many things are personal my mil BH bought me many gifts over the years my favorite are towels and a washing cup matching with my favorite design on it but thats also for the house. She also bought me a really random sweater (was really not good personally but it's the thought that counts lol) I would say ask your son what her favorite perfume is or go for wallet/gloves/sunglasses type of gift is the best way to go Good luck!!!