Anyone else with weird priorities? TW luxury

amother

Bergamot

Yesterday at 11:23 am

I myself am a very spending conscious person and even I get this!

I felt so weird the past few weeks because it was my husband's birthday and I got him a custom suit and we also did a couple other things that were a little extravagant and then I'm getting a new sheitel as well...

It felt so weird to make these purchases and because I'm always being so careful about money and trying to be responsible and we are currently saving a lot (almost 50% post tax) to buy a house one day. But then I was thinking about it and it actually makes sense day to day. I'm saving and I'm being financially responsible so that I'm able to afford these luxuries.

The only way that I'd be able to buy a new wig and these other things is by being smart with the way that I spend on a day to day basis.

So it makes perfect sense.

amother

Wisteria

Yesterday at 11:43 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Do the kids never ever get something new?
I guess a child could be excited to get a new game but cares less about a coat. Why should I spend lots of money on an item that child doesn't really care about and only uses for one season and then it's too small?

This, my oldest is ten and they still wreck their clothes playing outside. But they have games they're not ashamed to show friends who visit, and we have good food. Growing, active bodies need good food and clothing they don't need to worry about ruining.

essie14

Yesterday at 1:13 pm

It's so normal, OP.
My DD7 has absolutely gorgeous clothing that we got as hand me downs. You cannot tell.
I get bags of stuff from neighbors and whatever is gross I throw away. I fill in with new stuff as needed. And all her shoes, socks and tights are brand new.
But I feel it's so wasteful to spend money on brand new clothes when she is perfectly happy with hand me downs. I myself wear things that friends pass on to me as well. we have a big hand me down culture in my neighborhood. I don't hang on to anything that no longer fits me. We all pass clothes around for adults and kids.
I'll also splurge on items we need or want and can afford.

amother

Violet

Yesterday at 1:15 pm

I think this is normal. We all have our priorities. I feel funny spending a lot on a party even though we can afford it. I am not used to a lot of cleaning help so I do with 3 hours even though we can afford a lot more than that as well. But I’ll happily buy a new wig every year and ask for a new piece of jewelry for each birthday. If I was spending like this in every area it just wouldn’t be responsible.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 1:22 pm

essie14 wrote:

Hand-me-down culture is doing chessed Smile

even for those with a comfortable income.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Yesterday at 1:35 pm

amother Lily wrote:

It’s personality. I long accepted that I will buy ready food and go with old clothes if I can’t afford. Common sense would say that I should make food and buy clothes but somehow it’s extremely hard for me… maybe adhd? I’m honestly not sure and it really does bother me sometimes

Could it be you just don't enjoy cooking?

amother

NeonYellow

Yesterday at 1:46 pm

giftedmom wrote:

I tried every method I read about and no they didn’t

I know what you're talking about.
But I'm here to tell you, there is a way.
Wash the clothes before putting them away.
Spray oxi and use baking soda in the load. Then put away. Rewash when you take them out.
Also, bibs! Bibs! Bibs! All my babies had a gazillion bibs if change then multiple times a day. The stretchies stayed clean, and unless there was a blowout, I'd only change them in the morning into a clean stretchie.

I have stuff I still used with my toddler that I used with my oldest and second kid when they were babies/toddlers more than 10 years ago....
Swaddle and recieving blankets (remember the soft cotton gymborree ones 😀) , sheets, sleeping bags,undershirts hats and sweaters. Even 3-4 stretchies. Elegant expensive shabbos/chasuna classy clothing. So far they haven't gone out of style, I guess a classy piece is a classy piece.

Op, totally. I would spend on my kids doing extracurricular. But I'll manage my day in a way so that I can catch the bus instead of taking a taxi even if it means being out an extra 30 minutes.
I hate throwing out food so I'm always playing around with yesterday's leftovers ti make it into a fun dish for today's supper.
I wait till target has their leggings on sale then stock up for $3 a pop, then use my target circle card for an additional 5% off.
10th lb bag of sugar at Walmart and their wipes and other six things. Then buy a take-me-home set at klade LOL

amother

Pearl

Yesterday at 1:52 pm

Everyone does this to an extent. My parents were wealthy. They spent TONS on vacations. But they didn’t value buying brand name clothing. Our clothing was mostly cheaper and never had any labels on it. It’s anti-their money values.

I save up for things like nice watches, home repairs, etc but also have areas I do as cheap as possible including children’s clothing and food sales

↑ giftedmom

Yesterday at 1:58 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

I live with the motto that stuff serves me I don’t serve stuff…
But I did everything you mentioned and the stains didn’t come out. The next time around I gave everything to someone who used them right away.

amother

Oldlace

Yesterday at 2:10 pm

You asked, so I'll answer.

My gut reaction was that I'm not like that. I would never drop a thousand dollars (!!) on a purse, or a watch. I wouldn't buy a watch from the dollar store or anything, but I'd look for one that was reasonably priced but still good quality. I can't imagine buying a luxury item like that for myself. I honestly don't understand why it would bring more enjoyment than a regular-priced item.

But then I thought some more. There are so many places that I save -- price comparing items, refusing to use bags (although that one is more on principle!), waiting for sales before buying items, getting rid of my cleaning help when I was at a stage where I could it myself -- but there are places that I intentionally spend. For example, I spend on whole grain versions of things for health reasons, even though they cost more. I spent on a physical therapist for one of my kids who was behind because I felt they were better than the one covered by insurance. I just spent money on an extracurricular for a child who I thought really needed it, even though he would have been fine without it.

In other words, I spent money on the things that I valued. I don't value having a luxury brand purse or watch. You do. Maybe you would laugh at my buying whole grain pasta at twice the price of regular pasta. I don't know.

I remember visiting a friend's house as a teenager. I was shocked that they didn't buy any drinks because they were a waste of money--they just drank water. And there were other things they didn't have that seemed very frugal to me. But the mother had a hobby that she spent a decent amount of money on, regularly. And my friend had certain things, and certain experiences, that would have been considered luxuries in my family. It taught me that everyone values different things, and they spend their money in a way that makes sense to them.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 2:21 pm

By the way, I am wary of limitless splurging on kids.
Just now I came home and my teen dd saw my bag and said she also „wants one“.
I said sure you can get one for yourself when you grow up.
She started to stutter something about a „happy childhood“.
Since when is a luxury bag a part of a happy childhood? My dd‘s childhood had not been bad and she had enough goodies and experiences that others don’t have, but I refuse to give in to every „need“. What will she look forward to as a grown up when she has everything as a child?

Btw kids in her school are not flashy by any stretch even if many of them are well-off and the scoff at cliche displays of wealth at school

amother

Sand

Yesterday at 2:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

BH we happen to have more than usual amount of money now so we can splurge on things that we have always wanted to get for ourselves. So I went out and got a purse and a watch for DH (he never got a proper investment chosson watch so I felt he finally can get one). Both items are luxury but on the cheaper side of it.

Meanwhile at home I am going through piles of hand me downs from my older kids to prepare for a new baby I am expecting and collecting coupons that may save me like 40 bucks all in all in the future.

Am I weird? Is there anyone else who does both save pennies and splurge in the thousands?
When I look at some of the baby clothes I sort and rewash I see a few hundreds saved if not more and I am so grateful I never succumbed to the whole minimalistic crazy declutter trend and didn’t get rid of them…

No. Even those who are doing well financially don't have unlimited funds. People spend on the things that matter to them.
I know people who are well-off living in large homes, taking fancy vacations, but driving around in 20-yr old beat up cars. I know a woman who spends like mad on her wardrobe and car because her image for business is important to her but she lives in a dumpy apartment. And I know multi-millionaires who brown bag their lunch for work every single day because ordering lunch is wasteful.