Confessions of a nonpayer S/O tuition thread

↑ Rappel

Yesterday at 12:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

This is so sweet, thank you but we're okay.

All I can say to you and anyone who is reading posts like these and wanting to help, is please, please support Tomchei Shabbos. Yes, kiruv and making sure every kallah has nice furniture and bedding is important, but Tomchei Shabbos is literally keeping thousands of families from starving each month. They are incredible!

Agreed. They saved us from starvation when I was a kid, and I'm willing to say that under my screen name. Support Tomchei Shabbos.

Last edited by Rappel on Tue, Dec 17 2024, 12:42 pm; edited 2 times in total

↑ water_bear88 ↓

Yesterday at 12:42 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

I’m sure there was lower income housing but we are talking average. My grandparents were not rich… they were considered poor at the time. They were from the pioneers in Monsey and the houses sold were high ranches.

I told you I read up on historical architecture of homes. This is very much not true. You can google it “what did average home look like in___”

In manhattan, the Brownstones were built FOR THE POOR people. Do you know how much they sell for?

In Brooklyn it is well known that older apartment buildings have bigger apartments.

In what decade were they built for poor people? My great-grandparents lived in a tenement when they arrived in America at the turn of the last century.

amother

Tan

Yesterday at 12:45 pm

amother Vermilion wrote:

This doesn't apply to OP because she stated she could afford all of her kids before.
But where does it say in the torah to have more kids when you can't afford basic thi gs for the ones you already have?
It's absolutely irresponsible and selfish to bring more children into the world who will not have their needs met. And with needs I mean food, clothes, electricity and heating and health insurance. Especially when one already has 3-4 children.
Again this is not regarding OP. She couldn't possibly forsee the future.

By the same token, it should be obvious that someone who knows that their child will be drowned after birth should not be having children. Except, Golus Mitzrayim.

If you are having a child for your own enjoyment, pleasure, or sense of purpose, then financials are a logical factor. If you're having them for Hashem's sake, because it's a mitzvah, then we leave the calculations up to Him. (If you are not sure in your case, ask a Rav. But in general, financials are not a good reason to prevent children from coming into the world. Poor people are obligated in Pru Ur'vu and Vela'erev Al Tanech Yadecha the same way rich people are.)

amother

↑ Taupe ↓

Yesterday at 12:51 pm

amother Cyclamen wrote:

Reporting something as a business expense when it is not a real business expense, even if it's easy to get away with, is not legal.

depends to what extent. talk to your lawyer and accountant and find out what can be considered a legal business expense vs what's a gray area.
I'll repeat, theres a reason the top 1% get away with paying so little in taxes. They know how to do it legally.

amother

↑ Lightcoral

Yesterday at 12:51 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

It is a fact. Numbers can prove it. My grandfather paid 400$ a month on his mortgage and earned 500$ a week. My mortgage is 7,000$ and together we earn 10,400$. (Hoping to refinance) if things would be even I would be earning at least 24,000$ a month. And I wouldn’t even be rich. Maybe a bit comfortable. And my grandfather wasn’t rich either.

If you do a little research you will find this phenomenon all over. It is significantly more expensive to have kids than it used to be

delete

amother

Holly ↓

Yesterday at 1:04 pm

water_bear88 wrote:

In what decade were they built for poor people? My great-grandparents lived in a tenement when they arrived in America at the turn of the last century.

HA HA - Brownstones weren't built for poor people - They were the homes of the prosperous upper middle class person.

Tenements were where the poor were housed. In New York there are specific housing codes that were in place - Old Law Tenements were built under the 1879 law and allowed homes to be built next to each other. New Law Tenements required an air shaft which provided scanty light and ventilation.

Ever heard the term cold water flat?

Housing laws were changed sometime in the 1920's and so you got the very typical apartment building in New York City that was built around court yards.

Tenements before that were complete squalor with outdoor privies and often no running water.

Just google How The Other Half Lives which was a photographic expose by Jacob Riis published in 1890 illustrating the squalor of the New York tenements and how the wretched poor existed in them.

amother

↑ Glitter ↓

Yesterday at 1:39 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

I was waiting for someone to respond to that post. Definitely shouldn't have been made publicly.

Just wanted to mention that my DH was told by a very respected and knowledgeable rav that he was allowed to have jobs paid directly to school tuition( not part of official income) because for us frum Jews school tuition is not optional and a luxury but part of basic necessities.
(Obviously you can't do that if you get a paycheck every month)

Talking about a low income family eligible for government programs.
I'm not comfortable posting name of rav but consult your own if you think it might apply to your situation.

I hear and LOR but know that the law doesn't agree with this and if caught, you WILL go to jail

amother

↑ Glitter

Yesterday at 1:44 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

Great. When someone is in top 1% and can hire tax lawyers to find them a legal loophole, they may be able to do that. To tell a random lady on imamother to do something outright illegal is a really bad idea . I assume she won't have a lawyer to justify it if she gets caught. Saying in court, " but others don't pay so much tax" won't help her.
Taking personal costs as business deductions for tax purposes is ILLEGAL. Whether you are caught or not. If your rav says you can risk it, have fun. Still illegal.

amother

↑ Taupe

Yesterday at 2:28 pm

amother Glitter wrote:

I understand, however, do whatever you can afford to do in your own circumstances.
Everyone has an accountant (I hope) they know what’s legal and whats not. Be proactive.

↑ water_bear88 ↓

Yesterday at 2:52 pm

amother Holly wrote:

That sounds a lot more like what I pieced together from listening to older family members and reading.

↑ Aurora

Yesterday at 2:58 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

I have a lot of questions about this rabbi right now. This is still fraud.

amother

↑ Jasmine ↓

Yesterday at 3:24 pm

amother Holly wrote:

I did remember wrong. Brownstones were not for rich people, but for middle class. The wealth gap described by Jacob Riis eventually lead to the Great Depression. After that, the economy was much more stable, and poor people did not live in tenament style homes (on average). The middle class was robust and varied, and held the majority of people.

Today, again, we are headed to a huge wealth gap, where or you are not making ends meet or your living on fifth avenue.

amother

↑ Holly ↓

Yesterday at 4:36 pm

amother Jasmine wrote:

I guess it depends on what your definition of "middle class" was but the brownstones were built by people who had substantial incomes like doctors, lawyers or business owners. Middle class people lower down in earnings lived in more respectable apartments - not tenements but not brownstones which were quite large to house a single family. In Manhattan the respectable middle class lived on West End Avenue or Riverside Drive. Depending on the era they might have moved to the fancy apartment buildings on the Grand Concourse prior to WW II.

There were also less expensive neighborhoods that were built along the new subway routes that went through the boroughs where there was less expensive housing. There were row houses for workers like the some of the council houses that were prevalent in Britain or modest two family homes

The wealth gap didn't lead to the Great Depression. There were loads of world wide factors that caused it.

If anything the horrendous conditions of the poor led to the New Deal Policies which included the right of labor to organize; Fair Labor Laws; Social Security as well as morel short lived programs like the CCC's. There were huge amounts spent on public works project like the TVA - Hoover Dam, Triborough Bridge, Lincoln Tunnel were all built as part of the New Deal Public Works Project not to mention countless smaller projects like Post Offices and other civil buildings. Much of the rural areas were electrified for the first time.

The New Deal helped alleviate the suffering of the population but what really ended the Depression was WW II.

amother

↑ Holly

Yesterday at 4:59 pm

water_bear88 wrote:

That sounds a lot more like what I pieced together from listening to older family members and reading.

If you are in New York City, a visit to the Tenement Museum would be interesting.

https://www.tenement.org

I am old enough so that I remember the Lower East Side before it was gentrified. I had friends who live in the unrenovated apartments because rent was cheap and they were young and poor.

amother

↑ Hydrangea ↓

Yesterday at 5:21 pm

amother Taupe wrote:

A lot of it is 100% legal. How do u think the top 1% end up paying so little in taxes. They know how to work the system legally with backing of their lawyers and accountants.

the top 1% know better than to do anything illegal because there's a 100% chance that they will be audited at some point. There's plenty of tax loopholes that are legal.

There are also a lot of legitimate expenses that a small business can take, and some that are a bit a gray area but you will not go to jail (if audited you may pay large fines, which nobody wants to do either).

amother

↑ Jasmine

Yesterday at 5:23 pm

amother Holly wrote:

It’s really been a while, but I meant that it was a contributing factor. It didn’t immediately precede the great depression though