Confessions of a nonpayer S/O tuition thread

giftedmom

Yesterday at 10:34 am

amother Impatiens wrote:

How do chassidish people afford tuition? I always wonder they have a lot of kids as well but I think it’s worse in litfish community

It’s a lot cheaper than the numbers I’m seeing here

amother

Almond

Yesterday at 10:38 am

amother Black wrote:

Just want to add -

In many OOT communites there's no tuition (I live in Cleveland).

Only if you qualify due to income/family size. Trust me I pay!!!!!!!! Sorry pet peeve when people say that especially since the government doesn't pay full cost of tuition so then the school needs to fundraise the rest...

amother

↑ Green ↓

Yesterday at 10:41 am

amother Impatiens wrote:

How do chassidish people afford tuition? I always wonder they have a lot of kids as well but I think it’s worse in litfish community

Tuition is customized according to income, and is way cheaper than schools with a good education.
You get what you pay for.

Chassidishe people are also more money savvy and gutsy with reporting less income and receiving benefits.

needlepark ↓

Yesterday at 10:42 am

Mortgage 3500??? Where do you live?
Smaller house to start with
And so many children?
I really think people should think about cost of tuition as they have each child
As well as cost of college for each child

amother

↑ Cyclamen ↓

Yesterday at 10:45 am

needlepark wrote:

Children aren't a luxury. They're people.

It's mind blowing to me that you'd cancel someone's entire existence to pay for another person's college.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Yesterday at 10:47 am

needlepark wrote:

Any in town city costs that much for mortgage.

Renting a 3 bedroom apartment costs that much already.

Not everyone wants their kids to go to college.
Regardless, students can take out loans and pay for that themselves.

amother

Cyan

Yesterday at 10:50 am

amother Poppy wrote:

HOW CAN WE HELP

BY PRIORITIZING GIVING TZEDAKA $$$ TO YESHIVA AND BAIS YAAKOV

Exactly. It’s really this simple. But it needs to go along with accountability and schools opening their books, so that wealthy people don’t feel like they are donating to businesses.

If there was millions in donations given to yeshivos in EY earlier this year, can’t the same be done in our own communities?

There is unprecedented poverty in our communities but also unprecedented wealth.
Most of us can list quite a few frum billionaires. Maybe I’m entitled, but perhaps the frum billionaires have a tafkid at this time..

amother

Cerise

Yesterday at 11:08 am

amother Hydrangea wrote:

Lakewood managed just fine in the 1970's and 80's when everyone was in kollel (and not too many working wives), they'll manage just fine in the future.

You're forgetting the Rebono shel olam... who always takes care of his children.

The Lakewood of the 70s and 80s is not the Lakewood of today.

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Yesterday at 11:10 am

needlepark wrote:

This house
With 90k (20%) down.
According to my mortgage broker will carry a mortgage of approximately $3000 a month including insurance and property tax
That's for a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom 1000 sq ft house with an unfinished basement.
That's not called living luxuriously.

https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/

So move out of Lakewood. This is in Chicago.
More sq footage but almost 100k more. Definitely a 3500 mortgage.
https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Yesterday at 11:18 am

amother Maize wrote:

It's interesting because a few weeks ago I started a thread asking if I should consider tuition in family planning and everyone unanimously said it should not be a reason to not have children

It’s true that not paying full tuition is not a reason not to have any children of course. But OP’s situation is fairly extreme, even with paying zero tuitions she would be stretched just covering her basic life expenses.

↑ needlepark ↓

Yesterday at 11:18 am

Need to give larger down payment when buying house
Then mortgage monthly less
And having children is a choice
Choose to have what you can comfortably educate
Why have what you can't comfortably afford?

amother

Heather

Yesterday at 11:20 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

I think you're trying to show that housing is expensive in the Lakewood area. But im not sure this is the best example to generate sympathy.

If this is carenetta in central Lakewood then you are paying for location.

The 3k a month goes for the land.

[
90% odds the person buying that house is knocking it down and spending another 1.5 to 2 M on the structure.
]

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Yesterday at 11:23 am

amother Heather wrote:

I also showed a house in Chicago. Not the middle of the community, the less desirable areas.
With 100k down, it will carry a 3500 mortgage.
My point is housing is expensive. Everywhere.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Yesterday at 11:29 am

amother Oatmeal wrote:

All true.
But go back to the original post. None of this applies to the OP. Two f/t working parents with no extras. Bringing in less than they're spending anyhow, and unable to afford tuition for their kids.

You’re correct, but we don’t know the backstory. Perhaps OP’s husband was in kollel for the first 4-8 years of their marriage and so they were unable to save, leading to their credit card debt and a higher mortgage. It would also mean that her husband is playing catch up with his salary and isn’t earning to his full potential yet (or ever).

Yes, expenses are crazy these days, but that’s all the more reason why yeshivish newlyweds who want a large family and who want to live in town need to hit the ground running when it comes to finances. We can’t afford to wait anymore until finances “force” us out of kollel. We need to be proactive.

I don’t know OP’s life and it’s totally possible none of this applies to her. But regardless, it applies to thousands of yeshivish families on her situation. I see it with my own siblings and I really feel for them, and do help them. The frum economy is past the point where most ex-kollel families can simply “catch up”.

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Yesterday at 11:32 am

needlepark wrote:

Not if you buy on border of jewish area....cheaper

Cheaper. But then you have to pay a fortune for extra bussing or spend hours in a car back and forth because the busses don't go
And you still pay.

My relative just bought a 2200 sq foot house in Jackson, Jewish neighbors but not tons. She spent 10 years saving for the down 200k. The house was 575, after insurance, property tax, she's paying $3200 a month. Plus not many Jewish neighbors, a 10 minutes walk to the nearest shul and no bussing.

honey36

Yesterday at 11:32 am

needlepark wrote:

Because life is not about being comfortable.
If the Jewish people lived by this for centuries, we would have been extinct long ago.