Anyone else with weird priorities? TW luxury

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 8:57 am

BH we happen to have more than usual amount of money now so we can splurge on things that we have always wanted to get for ourselves. So I went out and got a purse and a watch for DH (he never got a proper investment chosson watch so I felt he finally can get one). Both items are luxury but on the cheaper side of it.

Meanwhile at home I am going through piles of hand me downs from my older kids to prepare for a new baby I am expecting and collecting coupons that may save me like 40 bucks all in all in the future.

Am I weird? Is there anyone else who does both save pennies and splurge in the thousands?
When I look at some of the baby clothes I sort and rewash I see a few hundreds saved if not more and I am so grateful I never succumbed to the whole minimalistic crazy declutter trend and didn’t get rid of them…

giftedmom ↓

Yesterday at 9:00 am

Sure. Just because you buy something expensive occasionally doesn’t mean you can’t try to save money the rest of the time. It accumulates.
As for baby clothes, I’ve had to throw too many away after they got those awful yellow stains. So now I just give them away right after I’m done with them.

amother

Winterberry ↓

Yesterday at 9:01 am

Yeah I think it’s weird. I buy what I need and like. I don’t specifically spend lavishly or sort through stuff majorly to save. Also really important point if you only splurge on yourselves and only save on the kids they will resent you, and it’s also not really fair. So make sure you also spend on them sometimes. I find it odd when I see my friend in expensive clothing and jewelry, eating out all the time living the high life, and her kids only have hand me downs, never get a new coat or knapsack etc.. it just looks selfish.

ora_43 ↓

Yesterday at 9:01 am

Sure. If you're not wealthy it's the only way to get nice things.

I'm not saying most people would pick specifically a watch but whatever nice, expensive things they do buy, it's because that was a priority and they splurged there while still saving kids' clothes, wearing shoes into the ground, buying the brand of beans that's $0.40 cheaper, etc.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 9:04 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

I splurge on kids when they start to appreciate it. I save on newborns onesies and PJs.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 9:06 am

ora_43 wrote:

We got married poor and never got anything in the thousands, not even our chosson/kalah gifts

Now BH we could theoretically afford more expensive than what I even got, but we are keeping it lower key than we can.

Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 9:13 am

amother OP wrote:

IMHO you are totally normal.
I'm very frugal (to put it mildly Smile

and like to get a good deal but you bet I always have money for my skincare and good shampoo (scalp issues)
We all have priorities on some items and some we cannot budge on.

↑ ora_43

Yesterday at 9:19 am

There are also people who don't want any luxuries, in the sense that they'll almost always prefer to make life a little easier in a bunch of small ways than to save up for something big. And/or who prefer experiences over things (eg would splurge on a family vacation or expensive activity for a child over furniture or jewelry).

But those are all just preferences. As long as it's not a situation where one person's luxuries are coming at the expense of another's needs, it's all good and nobody needs to feel weird.

Raizle

Yesterday at 9:30 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

Clothing and jewellery for an adult goes alot further then kids clothing that gets ruined and grown out of. I'm all for hand me downs at least while they are young enough not to care.
I think you sound a little judgmental. You are begrudging her the pleasures she takes? You don't know everything about her life do you? Do you know exactly how she invests in her kids. So she might be giving them hand me downs but taking care of her own needs night allow her the emotional energy to give to them in other ways.

chanatron1000

Yesterday at 9:33 am

I think spending a money on a nice item that you'll have and use for a long time is different from spending extra money on things that use up or are only useful for a short time regardless of their quality.

A purse or watch is something you can use every day for a long time. Spending enough to get a high quality item often pays off financially (as opposed to a poorly made item). Getting the luxury version, within reason, doesn't cost you that much per day of use.

Buying all new clothes for every baby would be different, because regardless of how good the clothing is, babies go up in clothing sizes very fast.

Collecting coupons makes sense as long as you aren't putting in too much time and effort for the money saved. At a certain point, it makes more sense to pay full price and look for some extra freelance work.

amother

Valerian

Yesterday at 10:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Absolutely makes sense to me.

I'll crazily balance my groceries instead of paying for a bag if I forgot one (unless I bought too much obvs), or I'll go out of my way to get to the cheaper gas station, and I'll do the math to see which detergent is cheaper, and try to pour out exactly the right amount of cornflake crumbs so I don't waste a lot, but

I'll also splurge on yummy meats for supper and go out to eat with friends and not worry about it, and spend a lot on clothing and take courses that bring me joy.

Life is a balance- being thrifty (I hope I don't get attacked as a spendthrift in the comments) along with taking the money you saved and using it on things that make you happy.

amother

Ebony

Yesterday at 10:02 am

I know someone that looks like all her clothing is very expensive. She also has expensive hobbies. Her kids are always in hand me downs, including the teenagers. And the clothing that her kids and teenagers wear don't always fit. When you see how well dressed the mother looks, it just looks off to have her kids look this way.

amother

Copper

Yesterday at 10:04 am

I’m not frugal, but I can be a penny pincher at times. It’s a weird personality trait because I’m a big spender in general

Like, I will buy very expensive clothes from high end designers but I’m very aware of “value”. I have no issue dropping $700 on a bathing suit but If I see a top I like at target and it’s $50 that is way too overpriced for me to even think about.. it’s about quality and overall market value as well so it’s not out of left field, it’s just so weird that I would even stop to care because at the end of the day it’s $50 and I spend that on the parking garage just to shop at my regular stores.. so I have no idea why I think this way, I will be the first to admit how ridiculous it is

amother

↑ Winterberry

Yesterday at 10:31 am

Raizle wrote:

I said she should make sure she’s not one of those. I didn’t say she is. Don’t accuse people of things they didn’t say.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Yesterday at 10:46 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

Do the kids never ever get something new?
I guess a child could be excited to get a new game but cares less about a coat. Why should I spend lots of money on an item that child doesn't really care about and only uses for one season and then it's too small?

amother

Nectarine

Yesterday at 11:01 am

giftedmom wrote:

You never have baby clothes worth saving for the next baby?