What to do, non Jewish coworker brought in cake for us

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:13 pm

Whole office is Jewish but 2 women.
One brought in bakery item for whole office from a "kosher" bakery.
Some hold its ok but it is not cholov yisroel which the women in the office keep.
No one will touch the cake and we feel bad she spent money and it wont get touched.
Should the boss (a man) say something to her? We don't want to hurt her feelings but she will notice we are not eating anything.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:38 pm

I once read a story in a magazine about a non-jewish coworker that bought a kosher cake for his jewish coworker. It was a good hechsher but it was sukkot and he was makpid to only eat in a sukkah. He told the guy that brought it thank u so much! I can't enjoy this cake myself, let me take it home to share with my family...

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

Everyone should take a piece and subtly get rid of it later without eating it?

Was thinking to do this but we dont want her to keep doing it. She is the type that will do it again.
I wish there was a way to just tell her that we are a "crazy" bunch of people with dietary laws that might not make sense to a non jew so better not to buy anything but we really do appreciate the thought.

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 9:04 pm

Anyone have a relationship with her?

Then they can say, you might have noticed nobody is eating but we all appreciate, it is SOooooo sweet.Frum friend would then need to explain some of the crazy laws and say it is the thought and she is so thoughtful. Frum friend should encourage her to take the cake home so it doesn’t get wasted.

amother

Sunflower

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 9:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

There is nothing wrong with explaining to her that you only eat from certain bakeries that are from your "type" of Judaism. Non Jews understand these things. For example there are lots of different types of Catholics and they are "makpid" on different things. I think it would be better overall if you explained the problem this time around, and if she wants to share something in the future, she knows how.

amother

Gold

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:11 pm

Honestly you should take the quotes off the word kosher

The way you wrote it sounds like, we’ll they say it’s kosher but it’s not. When it actuality it so kosher just not CY.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:32 pm

Someone who is very close to her or someone who is a really good with words and people should tell her how touched you are and it was so kind of her etc......and explain to her chapav yisrael and also tell her your idea of is it okay if we bring it to the senior center after work because we can't eat it? Or something like that

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:38 pm

In my office we are mostly frum people with the exception of a couple non Jews. We usually do a meeting once a month where everybody brings food. My boss speaks to them discreetly and tells them what we are allowed to eat from a non-jewish store. It's funny though, they love the Jewish stores and always tried to go in to buy something from their bakeries for us.

amother

NeonGreen

Yesterday at 12:49 am

That reminds me of the time when I had an internship at a place with a mixture of Jews and non Jews. On my last day, they had a nice lunch for me where they ordered food from a local kosher Chinese place. A couple of my non Jewish colleagues wanted to be extra nice and went and bought sorbet for dessert. They knew enough that we wouldn't be able to eat ice cream and to look for a hechsher, but they accidentally bought sorbet that was OU-D. Normally I would have happily eaten the OU-D treat, but not when I was fleishigs. We had to explain that it was really nice of them but we couldn't eat it just yet. They put it in the freezer to have another time, but since it was my last day I never got any of it.

Long story short, but it's definitely better to explain to your colleague why no one is eating her food both so that she doesn't get insulted and so that next time she wants to make a kind gesture she won't waste her money. Give her a list of a few places that would be more acceptable and leave it at that.

amother

Rose

Yesterday at 1:16 am

Thanks so much for the cake, Patricia. It looks so good. It was so sweet and thoughtful of you to get it. This is a little awkward since I know you went out of your way to get this from a kosher shop but the sect of Judaism that we are in has stricter rules about dairy which doesn’t alllow us to eat the cake. Would you be willing to take the cake home, we’ll reimburse you for it and send you a few names of places where we can eat from? We really appreciate the thought and don’t want you feeling bad about it since you had no way of knowing