What to do next? (Issue with teacher)

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:51 am

My daughters teacher has been calling her by my older daughters name since the beginning of the school year. We gave it a couple of weeks till I spoke to the teacher about it, teacher seemed sincerely sorry & said that she'd try to focus on calling my daughter by her name. But nothing changed. So I spoke to the teacher again, again she seemed sincere & said she'll concentrate to start calling my daughter by her name. And that's that. Nothing changed. It's bothering my daughter immensely, my daughter says that the teacher doesn't even try. She just automatically calls her by her sisters name.
So what do I do now? What's the next step?

amother

Skyblue

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:59 am

This is such an odd issue, I feel bad for your daughter. I have been guilty of mixing up siblings myself, but not with any children who I see on a daily basis or get paid to teach.

This could be very awkward for your daughter, but maybe she should begin making the correction in class each time it happens. Not like, "You got my name wrong!" But just adding "Chava Cohen," and a smile, before whatever she was going to say for her answer or her question when she raised her hand.

the world's best mom

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:00 pm

I guess the teacher must be a rasha and doesn't belong in the teaching field?

I mean, I call my kids by their siblings' names on a regular basis. It has to do with a shortage of live brain cells and too much on my mind, not evil intentions.

I say ignore it. Tell your dd her teacher is human and therefore forgetful.

amother

Calendula

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:01 pm

I'm a teacher. I do that all the time.but then I correct myself (sometimes other girls help and correct me!)
Now that I read your post, ill try to apologize as well.

You have to realize that when you've taught hundreds of girls, names get mumbojumboed in the mind.

keym

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:05 pm

My sons Rebbi calls him by his siblings name.
We spoke to the Rebbi, but he still forgets. Hes human
We spoke to our Rav about it and the Rav guided us to train our son. When the Rebbi calls our son Avrumi, our son responds "im Yossi" and then proceeds to answer the question. No drama. The Rebbi started remembering more. Or at least saying "Avrumy, no that's your brother, you're Yossi right. Oish I'm sorry I get mixed up".

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:13 pm

So I did tell her to speak up, the teacher is very stern & she's nervous...
The teacher was giving back tests the other day, the teacher looked at the paper to read the name, and still said my older daughters name. It's as if she's not even trying. She officially calls my daughter by her sisters name. I don't think it's okay.

amother

Myrtle

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:15 pm

Agree with other posters. Your child cannot control the teacher, but he can control himself. I see nothing wrong with stating his real name when he gets called upon by the wrong name. I think this will empower him. You can also explain that people -even teachers! - are human and make mistakes.

amother

Papayawhip

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 12:17 pm

A teacher did the same to my younger sister as well. She doesn’t mean bad. It’s just automatic and she’s obviously struggling with it. You can’t do anything once you pointed it out. I’d teach my kid to forgive and understand. Sometimes people struggle and it’s not personal and we don’t have to let it get to us. It’s great practice for her to become resilient and be forgiving and understanding.

amother

Bronze

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:18 pm

It may be human, and I am definitely guilty of calling my kids the wrong names on a regular basis, but I can tell you that as a student, I felt awful. It was hard enough being in my sister’s shadow, and having everyone expect me to follow in her footsteps when I was a totally different student and person. Being constantly called her name just felt like the final drive home that I wasn’t doing a good job, and they really wanted her.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:30 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Some people are bad with names, especially when you teach a lot of students. I don’t think anyone does it on purpose.

I understand. But I think the teacher should make an effort. It doesn't even seem like the teacher is making an effort to try to get it right. It makes my daughter feel as if the teacher has a pick on her. She was literally in tears the other day. "Mom, the teacher looked at the name of the test, she saw my name, she still called me "sisters name" when she gave back the test. She's not even trying."

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I understand. But I think the teacher should make an effort. It doesn't even seem like the teacher is making an effort to try to get it right.

This year, I had 5 different classes on different grade levels , close to 100 students. I don’t forget a face or a personality , but if I am not consciously reminding myself it’s very easy to forget a name.
That’s besides the 200 or so students I taught last year. There are a lot of names swirling around in my head and brain tends to automatically put families or similar looking kids together.

Brit in Israel

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel so bad for your daughter its horrible living in the shadow of your sibling. Can you ask the teacher if its ok for your daughter to correct her since its really bothering her but she is worried to get in trouble from it.
if the teacher is hearing the name corrected it is more likely going to stick eventually.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:50 pm

Make a clear sign with your daughters name in red text that she may display during lessons. Make sure it's red text (red is very visible, in this case it's needed). It could even be pinned on her shirt if possible. Teacher needs to connect face and name.

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 3:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

I also have a hard time remembering names. but this is so bizarre. I'd love to hear the teacher's explanation on this one.

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 4:06 pm

My mother is terrible with names, she doesn't know my kids name, my dh is usually called by a brother, bil, nephew or even uncles name. She will call me and even though she searched for my name she will still call me by my sisters name etc.
She was an Aim Habayis for a large sem over 100 new girls each yr who stayed for 2 yrs. She requested from the seminary to give her the application photos with there name and every summer vacation she would spend hours memorizing the names to face including when we were away, we would even test her to make sure it wasnt just known in order. She knew she had a problem and worked on it. by the end of the summer our whole family knew the names of all the girls coming and she made sure each girl was themselve and not just another name. Of course she made a mistake and if there was a repeating mistake, she would spend the next few days trying to work on it.

Please do your best to make sure each student is seen as an individual and not their sisters. it might be nothing to you but as the sandwhich or younger sister it can mean alot to that girl.

(Hi to all my sisters

and to all the seminary girls who went there and would test my mother with their name, she loved it!)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 4:07 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

This is the only class this teacher is teaching. 25 girls. She knows everyone's name. Somehow just because my daughter has a sister that was in the class last year, the teacher officially calls her by her sister's name. She's taking it very personally, as if the teacher doesn't care about her. I don't think it's acceptable at this point in the year.