School taking drastic measures

amother

Blush

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:16 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Finally someone got to the crux of the issue. As a community we dont prioritize our tuition. We mock it, we kvetch about it, we ignore it and we avoid paying it. We find excuses why we dont need to pay it, we blame the school for overcharging, we blame society for increasing standards to an impossible to sustain level, we look for loopholes etc Even as we prioritize other unessentials (see above).
We cant complain about tuition if we are overspending on simchas, vacations, yuntif, clothing, fancy footwear, toys, snack bags, etc etc.
Even our teachers tell us we need to spend more on our kids, who keep upping the bar, their "needs" and keeping up with our neighbors standards.
We feel like fools when our neighbors get to relax being a SAHM and we have to work and do all the same home responsibilities as our SAHM neighbors who get discounts and tuition breaks.

I propose something else. To keep up with our tuition,we borrow from our parents and pay them back a few thou a year, as we can. if this was said already, I apologize, I read most not all of this thread. BTW, this is what we did.

I’m not sure how this will help.
Tuitions grow every year. They become pricier as the kids get older - hs, mesivta, bm, seminary etc
Then there are wedding and support expenses all while still paying younger children’s tuition

Borrowing money is kicking the can down the road.
And why is this a parents responsibility? After marrying you off and helping you with support or down payment etc if they could, they now need to save for retirement and expenses that they’ll face as they age. I know many middle class couples that have wiped out their savings marrying off and supporting their children and refinanced their house when they were almost done repaying their mortgage to do so. Now they are still working , way past retirement age so they have saving for the future. How much pressure can we be putting on them.
And no I’m not at that stage . I have seven tuitions to pay and it’s a struggle . We don’t vacation aside to visiting family. We don’t spend on extras and we are a two parent working household, it’s not easy . I wish there was a better solution . But my parents/in Laws do not have to shoulder this expense at this stage in their life

amother

↑ Bluebonnet ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:20 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

I can't borrow from my parents because they're deep in debt from all their years of paying tuition

And I'm sorry but most of your post is baloney.
Many of us don't spend on the stuff you mentioned (yes even in town) and are still struggling tremendously

↑ #BestBubby

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:21 am

meyerlemon44 wrote:

People seem to think every public school is full of drug dealers and teachers trying to make kids trans. I send to public school OOT because my kids are SN and everyone is lovely. It’s a small town that we chose because the Jews and non Jews are good people, and that’s reflected in the school .

100 years ago, when public schools were sane and moral,

and there were hardly any yeshivos,

Frum children attended public school

And the majority became not frum!

How much more so today.

amother

Purple

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:30 am

amother Brunette wrote:

100% I agree it's unaffordable. I just don't get why tuition is so often the bottom of the list.
People complain in Lakewood that it's so hard to get into a school and why don't people want to open schools. This is the reason. Specifically in this town, people expect to pay a fraction of the cost to educate their kids. Full tuition usually doesn't even cover the actual cost of education.

I spent many years with very little money and no help and no programs. We scrimped on food, on vacation, but we paid tuition. It probably helps that I don't have 12 kids. Or half that.
Rabbanim keep saying not to base the amount of kids you have on the amount of money that you need for them, but then where does that leave the schools?

It's a big issue.

Thank you Thank you Thank you for saying this!!! I have been asking about this over and over again when different posts pop up discussing if finances should be taken into consideration before deciding to have another child and MAJORITY always says "absolutely not" Hashem takes care of it and Rabbanim say not to take finances into consideration and that you should have as many as you can handle etc.........

But look!!!! every time a post comes up like this discussing how people are just struggling horribly and can't pay tuition and schools are closing and their electric is being shut off I keep asking how can you possibly continue going with the theory that finances should not be worried about when deciding to have another baby????? I just don't get how our Frum community reconciles these 2 very opposing idea's and then are shocked when it just doesn't work!

How can you possibly not take finances into consideration before having a double digit family or more than 3 or 4 children? I really don't get it.

SYA ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 8:57 am

amother Purple wrote:

The “wheel of fortune” goes round. You can be wealthy at the top and without Hashem’s brocha one can go plunging down. So should people never have children because parnassa is a Brocha from Hashem and never certain? We should never have bitachon and do our part?

And someone struggling and strikes it rich, should they wait to have children until they’re wealthy when they’re past their fertility?

amother

↑ Natural ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:49 am

Linsey wrote:

as someone who is currently very angry at the school they are working at for not paying them... I think this is AMAZING and every school should take these measures. I am NOT a volunteer and I deserve and NEED to have reliable pay. If parents can not pay than they need to find some way to get the money or take out another mortgage because this is ridiculous. we are not volunteers.

Did you never ask the school why they prioritize the school's electric bill, janitor service, or color copies over paying the teachers? Why is all the blame going on the parents? I assure you that even with many parents behind on tuition, the school has enough income to pay your salary. But they are prioritizing other expenses.

BTW, I don't have a mortgage. We are renting.

amother

↑ Razzmatazz ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:54 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

My parents are in debt, still paying off their own tuition debts. And do you really think grandparents have that ability to support all their grandchildren in such manners?

You know, I envy you. You have such roae colored glasses on, and you are blessedly naive about the true struggles of so many families. When you start talking about vacations and fancy footwear, I wonder which world you are coming for.

If such are the people who are running our schools, perhaps we invite them to live one month in our shoes. I wonder if they would even last a week. But maybe then it would stop such nonsensical arguments and introduce reality to them.

amother

↑ Razzmatazz ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:55 am

Linsey wrote:

Great, can you cosign for a second mortgage of a house that's already mortgaged to the tee? Let me know where you live and I'm coming right over.

amother

↑ Bluebonnet

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 10:59 am

Linsey wrote:

Just one problem I don't own a house

amother

↑ Green ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:03 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

Great, can you cosign for a second mortgage of a house that's already mortgaged to the tee? Let me know where you live and I'm coming right over.

Second mortgage?
I wish I had a house to mortgage.
Im drowning in rent. Because I've spent the past 20 years killing myself to pay whatever reduced tuition His Majesty the Administrator decreed (with no rhyme or logic) and in the past 20 years I've ate through my savings and it looks like I'll never be able to cough up enough for a down payment.

amother

↑ Begonia ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:09 am

Let's say u read a new thread on here, landlord is asking what to do, their tenant has not paid rent in 4 months, causing her to be behind in the mortgage.
She feels bad to throw them out because it's jewish family but they haven't paid a cent and are not picking up call, replying to emails. They openly tell other ppl that they have intention of paying
The landlord is now at risk of losing the house.

What would u advise?

amother

↑ Green ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:20 am

amother Begonia wrote:

You're doing the same thing as other posters.
You're assuming that the parents who haven't paid are ignoring the phone calls and that the school is making a reasonable effort to be flexible and work with the parents.

Both statements are not necessarily true

I don't send to THIS school but a different school in Lakewood.
In September the school agreed that I can pay this year's building fees in installments $50 amonth.
Last week they informed me that if I don't cough up the entire years amount ($300) by next week, I can't send my kid back
Additional the school informed me that I have a $450 past due from previous years, pay it up by tomorrow. When I asked for statements to figure it out (because my calculations say that we have no outstanding balance), they sent me a letter that says "outstanding balance $450, pay or you cannot return".
This school recently built a fancy building and didn't get as much donations as they wanted.
So am I a evil thief because I want clarification before I pay and because I want the school to respect earlier commitments.

Unless you know exactly how many families in this school are refusing all communication and just ignoring the tuition, you have no argument.

amother

↑ Razzmatazz ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:28 am

amother Begonia wrote:

What would YOU advise. Would you advise kicking the tenant out on the street, or would you advise to reach out to the community (I.e. askonim, organizations) for assistance.

(This tenant doesn't have family who can assist.)

amother

Yolk

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:36 am

SYA wrote:

The Lubavitcher Rebbe said that each additional child brings additional brochos for parnassa.

And I’ve BH seen it over the years with most of my children. A small raise right before or after maternity leave to just about cover the extra expenses of another child. My financial situation was ultimately the same.

. I haven’t had that experience. My husband and I make very good money together, but we have multiple special needs children and I feel like I’m dying financial and emotionally. I wish I had your experience.

amother

↑ Begonia ↓

Mon, Dec 16 2024, 11:37 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I'm not asking what the tenants should do. I'm asking what the landlord should do. Also if landlord does decide to evict, after month of non payment, would u call them evil, cruel and greedy? Or understand that its very complicated and there were no good answers?