This is why I don't bring you...

↑ Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 5:52 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

What does one-option dinner mean?

Only one item of food, or a few foods?

I mean if he's only offering plain pasta, no protein or the other way around, then yes, that's really not the norm.

Just want to clarify this point. To understand if one option means only one actual food item or one set of food items.

Oh good point.
We are all automatically thinking dinner means a complete meal but OP should probably clarify what she means.
Especially considering we all think it's strange to expect 2 dinners, maybe she doesn't mean that at all

amother

Dahlia

Yesterday at 6:37 pm

Op,
On imamother you will only get support to live as frugal as possible. If you have money or a spender, you are not a good person.
As someone who grew up with very little food in my house I’d tell you, it’s very scarring. Me and my sister have a crazy bug with having shefa in food. I don’t need my kids going to friends homes to shnorer food and many of my kids friends come to my house and raid my kitchen. Food is one area that I will NOT be cheap on. Snacks will add $50 to my bill which is way cheaper than having my kids going to therapy for feeling deprived.

amother

Dodgerblue

Yesterday at 6:47 pm

Hi op
I'm not sure what the answer

With food it's important kids feel like there is enough in order to be satisfied
It's a feeling not a fact

We grew up with very rationed food and most of us (between 20 and 40 yo )are really suffering with different forms of eating disorders

↑ Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 7:12 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

You are projecting.

↑ Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 7:15 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

In answer to you and the person above you.

Serving one (complete) dinner a night is not food deprivation

Abstaining from expensive probably less healthy snack food in favour of home made healthy snacks is not food deprivation

People need to read what's written, think critically, and not project their own personal traumas on others.

↑ Raizle ↓

Yesterday at 7:17 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

I have not seen that here at all.

amother

↑ Forestgreen

Yesterday at 8:15 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

This isn’t about being as frugal as possible, it’s about living within your means

And being deprived is not the same as feeling deprived, and I’m not under the impression that OPs house has “very little” food

mizle10 ↓

Yesterday at 8:17 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

Who said no food/snacks at home?
Saving prepacked snack bags for school is very reasonable.

lamplighter

Yesterday at 8:37 pm

The big question here is can you afford to buy what the kids want freely or is your DH under a lot of stress because he's trying to work with a limited budget?
If you can afford it and your DH is being stingy that's another conversation.
Something tells me his comment was not the kindest but he meant it literally not as an insult.

amother

NeonBlue

Yesterday at 9:05 pm

The two of you need to sit down and create a budget together. See a financial advisor if you can't settle this on your own. You should both know how much you have to spend each month and how much of it you can afford to spend on food.

amother

Navyblue

Yesterday at 9:08 pm

OP, you stated right at the outset that finances are tight. That being the case, it seems to me that your DH is simply doing the responsible thing. Children do not need prepackaged commercial snacks. They do not need custom-made dinners to suit their individual tastes. If you feel they "need" these things, then both you and they are spoiled. It won't do the kids or you a lick of harm to learn that wanting and needing are two very different things. And you need to wake up and smell the coffee: money doesn't grow on trees, and when your finances are tight, you tighten your belt and give up luxuries until such time as your financial situation eases up. And you don't need to apologize to anyone for living frugally and responsibly. "Everyone else" who gives their kids prepackaged junk food (which is anyway unhealthy in so many ways) is not going to come to your rescue when the bank repossesses your house, your landlord evicts you for nonpayment of rent, or the utility company turns off your water and electricity. KWIM?

BTW you didn't say that you work. I'm guessing that you don't, be ause if you did you might have a different attitude. Maybe consider getting a job so you can help ease the financial situation. When you're the one earning the dough, you can waste it on prepackaged junk for your kids if you like.

amother

Peony

Yesterday at 9:20 pm

There's no reason for kids to eat prepackaged snack bags at home just because they want to. Save it for school and give them other food at home. And there is no reason to make 2 dinners if you can make one. If some kids don't like the dinner maybe make a bit more of a dinner they like the night before so they can have leftovers.

familyfirst

Yesterday at 9:21 pm

I see op’s point

Is her husband being fiscally responsible or financially controlling and anxious?

It isn’t u usual to go shopping and to buy a treat to eat that night. That’s ok. Not tons of treats and not every night, but for that night it just adds joy and color and happiness to a home.

If her husband is giving her a hard time with that, he may manifest this financial anxiety inither ways too. They are both working full time. There is no reason for their kids to feel like every ourchase is a big deal. Life’s little treats once in a while is a healthy way to live.

Two suppers in one night is not necessary. Don’t like it, have cereal and milk.

I wonder if this is just an example to portray his attitude towards spending. If every penny has to be accounted for and given a din vcheshbon for, I can see where this is irritating. Especially since she works full time.

As in everything f in life, balance is key

amother

Gray

Yesterday at 9:45 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

OP said that both she and her dh work full time.

↑ mizle10

Yesterday at 9:46 pm

familyfirst wrote:

Buying a treat for that night doesn't double or triple the entire grocery bill.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Yesterday at 9:50 pm

I don't think anybody actually read the OP.

I think that OP has just as much of a right to make financial decisions about food as her husband, and I would be mad if my DH would try to limit me.

That said, I think they need to sit down and discuss this and try to meet in the middle.