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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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Today at 4:54 pm
amother Chestnut wrote: | Wow why do you assume she doesn't care...I've been there done that and love all my kids. Just bc you wouldn't do it doesn't mean your a better mother |
Why would you do that? Do you genuinely not realize how dangerous it is?
For the record, if you put your child in life threatening situations, and I don't, yes, I am the better mother. It's incredibly negligent.
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amother
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Today at 4:56 pm
amother Chestnut wrote: | Wow why do you assume she doesn't care...I've been there done that and love all my kids. Just bc you wouldn't do it doesn't mean your a better mother |
You put your babies in the car without buckling them?
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amother
Dill
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Today at 4:58 pm
amother Freesia wrote: | and yesterday I was driving down a main two lane road in my town. at a red light I was behind a minivan with a shattered back window and the 3 kids int eh back seat where jumping all over teh place looking out the back window. even my kids of all ages that were with me were horrified. and honestly, I see it a lot. even when I take my kids friends sometimes in the car I have to insist they buckle up and they make a fuss. I for real don't get it. |
Omg I saw this too and was horrified!
Was this a sienna in Lakewood?
I was so tempted to call the cops but then they turned on to Hurley and I couldn’t follow them (was on my way to work.)
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amother
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Today at 4:59 pm
honey36 wrote: | Of course the mother made a mistake, but doesn't mean she doesn't care about her kids.
Also there are other "mistake" that can be worse. Like feeding their kids junk food. Statistically, much more likely for someone to die from cardiovascular disease vs road accident. And also very preventable with proper diet. Yet no one is yelling at these parents. So, tell me, "do people really not care?" |
This is a joke, right?
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amother
Coffee
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Today at 5:00 pm
amother Molasses wrote: | Sure they care. I've never seen parents who don't care about their kids. And I've been around a long time, at least 4 decades before the Doona existed. |
Oy that's a nice world you live in. I have seen many who don't. And I am sure you have as well.. you just don't want to see it.
In this case... it was probably just a mistake.
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amother
Lemon
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Today at 5:01 pm
Not to defend the mom, but I will say that when it was time to turn the car seat around to face front--it was a basic one piece model for infant thru 40 lbs--, I discovered that the seatbelt had been threaded wrong all along. Chasdei Hashem that nothing ever happened, but the seat was in the car that way for two years. The instructions weren't the clearest. Am I a neglectful mom? Not at all. I'm more safety minded than most, but I made an honest mistake. Just saying.
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amother
Slateblue
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Today at 5:05 pm
And when kids die in car accidents we can’t say see it’s a terrible thing to not buckle and use car seats correctly. We can’t warn anyone before either. So when is it a good time to talk about all the lives people put at risk?
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amother
Banana
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Today at 5:09 pm
What a ridiculous thread. OP of course you are correct to be concerned! I can’t believe the responses here. There was an accident in my neighborhood where a toddler wasn’t in a car seat and was killed! These things are 100% not ok!!
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seeker
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Today at 5:13 pm
amother Steelblue wrote: | Mother puts Doona into back seat facing any which way just to get baby out of the cold, planning on turning it rear facing and strapping it in.
Then she gets an urgent phone call from her kid's teacher, or someone honks at her to get out of the space, or while she's turning on the car so it warms up or loading groceries into the trunk she gets flustered or distracted, and she starts driving, forgetting that she never strapped in the baby. |
This. Yes it's horrifying when it happens but it's also not so far fetched and anyone, especially potentially sleep deprived mother of infant, can have a moment of brain failure. Bh Hashem is looking out for us and our children and we hopefully notice and correct before anything disastrous happens.
I am one of the most safety conscious parents I know, that annoying person always trying to make sure everyone else is up to date on car seat usage guidelines, and it even happened to me once. The seat was installed in the car but the baby was not buckled in. Bh nothing happened and yes I was horrified when I noticed but all you can do is thank Hashem and try harder going forward. Our brains aren't perfect.
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amother
Pistachio
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Today at 5:20 pm
Ive seen this.
ive seen doonas facing foward.
Ive seen all kinds of expensive car seats that arent buckled with kids not buckled sitting in them.
Theres no car seat peole to and dqncing to the music in the car type.
These are just car related breaking common safety regulation issues there are many other safety regulations people break in regards to their precious children.
I think most parents care about their children but I believe there is a sense of entitlement and holier than though haughtiness with people that break safety laws especially those meant to protect the innocent and helpless
(For their image the have the best car seat abd car but....ive also seen old broken down frum cars with similar issues ao go figure)
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amother
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Today at 5:20 pm
honey36 wrote: | Of course the mother made a mistake, but doesn't mean she doesn't care about her kids.
Also there are other "mistake" that can be worse. Like feeding their kids junk food. Statistically, much more likely for someone to die from cardiovascular disease vs road accident. And also very preventable with proper diet. Yet no one is yelling at these parents. So, tell me, "do people really not care?" |
I agree with you that not buckling doesn’t show the she doesn’t care. I didn’t take OP’s title literally, to me it meant like omg, what was she thinking, not that she literally doesn’t care as there wouldn’t ever be a way of knowing that info. Perhaps OP should have phrased it differently, both because it’s always better to say things in a kind way and also for the imas who would perhaps take it literally.
(I will disagree with you however, on your point about junk food. The logic in your analogy does not hold up, though it sounds good. Between comparing different categories of risk, using statistics without context, negating the fact that dietary habits are not universal and depend on culture whereas buckling is the law, and ignoring the fact that buckling prevents immediate harm whereas one’s future health is influenced by a variety of factors, your comparison is not relevant. Bike helmets and stroller safety would have been a more apt comparison. )
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amother
Steel
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Today at 5:33 pm
I’ve seen people being negligent with car seats (and other childcare things.)
I don’t think it comes from not caring. They can be the most loving parents.
I think it’s more a mentality that some people have, like if something has a 1% chance of something happening, to them it’s a 0% chance. They’re just live in the clouds/optimistic/ glass is always full types, who never believe anything will happen. These are the people that speed, talk and text, leave kids outside unattended and other things. “It will be fiiiiiine”.
It’s a real personality and the phycology should be studied because it’s interesting.
As for me, I’m the opposite. Doom and gloom at every scenario.
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amother
NeonPurple
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Today at 5:35 pm
amother Orchid wrote: | I think as a society we have become conditioned to defend the accused and the one in the unfavorable position that women can’t seem to admit that having an baby in a sideways doona in a moving car is inexcusable.
In typical imamother fashion, imas will tell you to mind your own business, dream up far fetched excuses, bend over backwards to exonerate the mom- before they will ever just say, yeah you’re right, that’s crazy and unacceptable.
So strange that people don’t want to admit the mother made a mistake. |
YES TO THIS 💯
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amother
Mustard
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Today at 5:35 pm
amother Moccasin wrote: | I watched my old next door neighbor put his toddler in the backseat of his car every morning to take him to playgroup, no car seat and not even a seatbelt. He literally dumped the kid in and slammed the door.
Till today I regret that I never said anything to his wife |
What makes you I think she didn't know???
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amother
Turquoise
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Today at 6:14 pm
As someone who was in a car accident recently, not my fault at all-- please make sure your kids are in the correct seat. Mine were BH all in the back. None of them even got a scratch. I got whiplash.
Rear facing in many states is until 2. FF after. Booster only when they meet all criteria including how they sit in the seat, behavior/maturity...
If the kids head is within 1-2 inches of the top- next size seat up! Stop using the infant seat!!
Make sure the chest clip is armpit level, not down near the bottom buckle.
And don't put 8 year olds or 10 year olds in the front!! It could kill them.CV!!
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amother
Burgundy
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Today at 6:23 pm
My dh drives for an organization bec he works near a children hospital over an hour away.
It’s happened more than once mothers fought with him not to put babies in car seat. That it’s just for show.
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amother
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Today at 6:39 pm
And there was a kid sitting in the front see who looked very under age, If that changes anything for all those defending her that maybe it was a mistake
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amother
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Today at 6:42 pm
And even if it was a mistake which so many of u are defending her that she placed the car seat there and forgot about it, do u never look in ur rear view mirror??!!! Cmon!!!
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amother
Cerulean
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Today at 6:55 pm
Are you sure it was a doona? There are a lot of car seat brands now that are multi directional and can turn sideways
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amother
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Today at 7:01 pm
amother Cerulean wrote: | Are you sure it was a doona? There are a lot of car seat brands now that are multi
directional and can turn sideways |
100000% positive!
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