Would you pay your high school niece to babysit?

amother

Denim

Yesterday at 4:58 pm

I always got paid. I babysat for my cousins all the time, I charged them less than anyone else. My mother one time tried convincing me to do it for free but I got upset, I was going way out of my way to help them, I had a lot of other things to do, and I did it so often. If I didn’t take pay I probably would have only done it when I had nothing else I wanted to do (so basically never) or if they really needed me for an emergency or something.

amother

Periwinkle

Yesterday at 5:07 pm

I never paid my single sis in laws - tbh I couldn’t afford it. But now I pay my nieces quite generously. Not that I can afford it 😄 but I feel like nieces are diff than sis in law. And my siblings pay my daughters as well.

I always bought my sis in laws very nice gifts to show my appreciation. I recently spoke to my now adult sis in law about this and she told me she never expected to be paid and greatly appreciated the gifts we got. So it made me feel a little better.

Hashemlovesme1

Yesterday at 5:09 pm

I always pay regular rate. If I ask them to babysit, it’s possible they’re turning down another paying job that they would have otherwise taken and gotten full rate.

amother

DarkCyan

Yesterday at 5:14 pm

I think you need to or else if they have a paying job, it is not fair for them to not take it. (Or even do they want to-they can be chilling at home instead of dealing with your small children)

My DD used to occasionally babysit for my sister. DD refused $, but my sister always offered. DD and my sister are very close and my sister only has boys and loves to take DD shopping and buy her things I would never buy (brand/expensive- not intentions🤣))

Tao

Yesterday at 5:31 pm

My niece absolutely refused payment. I bought her a voucher to a trending jewellery store for YT instead. I felt that if I'd pay a random girl why not her?

amother

↑ Daylily

Yesterday at 5:37 pm

amother DarkCyan wrote:

I would definitely pay if my nieces would accept payment.
As is, they literally fight over who gets to come. I always leave the kids sleeping so they get to have a break. They always come with a friend.
They’re so offended if I even offer to pay.

cloudsandsun

Yesterday at 5:54 pm

I’m still resentful of an aunt and uncle who had me babysit all the time, and sleep over, and never paid me. I would definitely pay.

One year my aunt bought me a brand name item that I never wore because I never wore brand names, was too awkward to suddenly show up in school with it.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 11:52 pm

So based on these responses I’m still not sure… I tried to pay in the beginning but she wouldn’t except it… and her mother was horrified that I even thought to pay. I like they gift idea but I wouldn’t know what to get or when too give it… I’m really bad at giving gifts in general

amother

Yolk

Today at 6:22 am

amother OP wrote:

Tell your sil that it's only fair to both of you if you can pay, cause you're uncomfortable asking if you can pay and they won't feel taken advantage of....

singleagain

Today at 6:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Give some info about your niece and we can help with gift ideas

What does she need? What does she want? What does she like? What hobbies does she have?

Raizle

Today at 6:52 am

amother Seagreen wrote:

I've done it, a few times. I've got a few kids and some of them have a harder time with babysitters than the others.
So I feel comfortable asking, that I'm not taking advantage of her.
And I don't pressure her at all in case it's not a good time for her.

But I have a neighbor who wanted to pay my (younger) daughter for helping her out with her kids every so often. We came to a mutual agreement that she wouldn't pay, but she can get her a gift for chanukah or some other time if she wants to give her something.

Every family does what makes sense for them.

You came to that agreement with her? Or your daughter did?

ora_43

Today at 6:55 am

The title had me a little worried. It is so sweet and so wonderful that the disagreement is that you want to pay, and she wants to help out for free.

I would be OK with someone babysitting for free very sporadically. But if I wanted regular help, I would ask them to please let me pay, because otherwise I won't feel comfortable even asking them to come.

If she really doesn't want to take payment, I'd keep checking in with her about that every once in a while, and in the meantime make sure that I'm providing lots of snacks, the kids are OK, the work isn't too hard, etc. And like others said get her a nice gift. (maybe her parents would have an idea?)

amother

Seablue

Today at 7:17 am

I think it depends on the relationship. I babysat for my sister for 4 years once a month so they could go out. I never expected money. I actually liked it. 2 hours of quiet. If the kids were up maybe it would have been different.

amother

PlumPink

Today at 8:12 am

100% pay. I’m shocked people are suggesting not to. Think about how you would feel.

When I was in high school my stepmother used to expect babysitting for my half siblings and not pay me. I felt used and like I couldn’t make plans with my friends. Eventually I told her she had to pay me as I was missing out on babysitting jobs. My mother always paid me to babysit because she felt if she wasn’t paying me, she’d have to pay someone else and the money was likely coming yo me anyways in some shape or form.

amother

Pear

Today at 8:27 am

When I was high school and babysat for my uncle, I didn't want to take money and he wanted to give. He said he has to give because otherwise he'd stop calling me especially as there were times it was twice a week I was going. The compromise we came to was he paid me every other time which we both thought was fair.

keym

Today at 9:36 am

My policy is for urgent situations or quicky situations, my siblings don't pay my daughter. But if it becomes too much, I tell them to buy her something.
Regular babysitting, I expect them to pay her. In general there tends to be higher expectations with a niece- she can stay longer, she'll straighten up after, she'll put the kids to sleep nicer. And if they don't pay, she'll feel totally taken advantage of.