Im horrified! Ds read private letter!

amother

Sage

Today at 11:27 am

Why is everyone busy diagnosing? you never heard of a snoopy teenager who discovered something private and his curiosity got the better of him? not every parents room is so private.... lets not get side tracked. op asked for advice on what to do now with the information he knows.

my opinion like some others said is for you and your husband to speak to him after things settle down and explain that youre on the same page and sometimes parents get upset etc etc....

amother

↑ Clear

Today at 11:36 am

amother Sage wrote:

You know that reading someone’s else’s letter is equal to marrying two wives?

amother

Oxfordblue

Today at 3:52 pm

amother Sage wrote:

I was a snoopy teenager once-but whatever I read from my parents, or saw in their room while they went on vacation and couldn't help myself- I NEVER told them- I was ashamed that I did something wrong.
Posters are responding to that. A child using this info against his parents is next-level disturbing, and OP saying its besides the point- it really isn't.
I agree with a poster above who said that the amount of nonverbal noncommunication being used in this family to make points to each other sounds toxic

miami85 ↓

Today at 4:32 pm

Towards the end of my parent's marriage, my father was not taking care of himself--including the last day he was in my house. It was a long few months prior that were very stressful because of my father's various health conditions and they were bickering a lot and saying things that, I don't remember now, but I remember it being less than loving.

My father ended up in a medical crisis that fateful day and my mother yelling that if he didn't go to the doctor she was going to file for divorce.

He finally agreed to go to the doctor, he recovered slightly, but he never came home. He passed away about 3 weeks later.

My mother always spoke glowingly and lovingly about my father, which being that I was a teenager I was surprised at my mother's seeming-180.

Years later I saw a video that explained how loving and being angry with someone--especially someone who isn't taking care of him/herself--are really just extensions of the same feeling. We can get upset with someone we love because of how much we really love them and WANT them to improve so that the relationship can improve.

I used to be a big fan of positive parenting and communication being the key to good parenting--and in reality it is still very important. But I also now realize that as long as my kids think that "Mommy is ok with this", then they keep taking advantage, and then they never realize how much it impacts me. Thus, I have to "get angry" or "lose my temper" sometimes so that they understand that it's NOT ok for mommy to have to constantly cleaning up messes, or they can get away with not helping etc.