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Forum
-> Working Women
amother
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 Today at 10:49 am
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I'm going through an extremely difficult chapter in my life now and I'm not performing my best. Do you think I should tell my male employer?
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amother
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Today at 11:01 am
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Depends on what the difficulty is. If it was something pareve and temporary, like a physical injury, I would. If it was something personally messy and/or indefinitely ongoing, such mental health struggles or shalom bayis problems, I wouldn't.
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amother
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Today at 11:24 am
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Thanks if it's something personal but still big like a loss of a family member, divorce, family member in rehab or infertility?
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gibberish
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Today at 11:30 am
I would mention something but be vague.
Tell him that you are going through something personal and your work may be affected but you are trying your best to push through and hopefully it's short term
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amother
Maple
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Today at 11:43 am
| gibberish wrote: | I would mention something but be vague.
Tell him that you are going through something personal and your work may be affected but you are trying your best to push through and hopefully it's short term |
This
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zaq
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Today at 12:52 pm
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What gibberish said. Your boss, male or otherwise, has no need for your personal medical information unless it affects work-related decisions such as providing parental leave or reasonable accommodations for a disability.
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amother
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Today at 1:00 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Thanks if it's something personal but still big like a loss of a family member, divorce, family member in rehab or infertility? |
If a death in the immediate family, I would share that. Many people understand that there is a temporary workload associated with that: arranging funeral proceedings, settling an estate, cleaning out a home perhaps. I don't think most bosses would hold this against an employee and would recognize it as a temporary disruption.
I would be much less inclined to share the other items you listed, as there may not be a definite timeline and it could give the impression that you will be indefinitely distracted. If the family member is in rehab for a defined period and expected to resume full function, I might mention it. But if an elderly parent who is likely to be in and out of rehab multiple times and need other assistance, I'd keep to myself.
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amother
Azalea
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Today at 1:33 pm
I absolutely would not say the words, "My work may be affected". No need to give them something to look out for.
Just, "I wanted to let you know that I'm going through something personal right now but I assure you that my work remains a high priority to me, and I will continue to push through until this is behind me."
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amother
Bisque
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Today at 1:35 pm
I’m going through an extremely difficult time right now
One of the things mentioned above
I know I’m not doing my best and I also wonder if I should say something .. I just don’t feel like sharing
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amother
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Today at 2:48 pm
Thanks for all the responses
I did what gibberish and azalea suggested and bh it went well
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