Please Help me with bedtime

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 1:04 pm

My 4 year old is the cutest little person in the world. During the day time he is so well behaved and just a pleasure . Lately night time has turned into a 2+ hour battle every night . It’s always the same routine , bath some play time in his room story and bed. The older ones are generally downstairs while all this is happening . When it’s time to get into bed he starts. I’m hungry I’m thirsty I’m not tired I don’t want to. He will wander the house turn on his light take out toys and books make his own way down etc If ignored. Charts and bribes make no difference. Same with threats and consequences. It is beyond draining and it really takes away from time with the other kids and general smoothness of the evening routines. Thanks if u read this far and Any help or advice appreciated im at a loss 🙏🏻

amother

Crocus

Yesterday at 2:34 pm

Do you spend some time sitting by his bed before leaving his room?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Yesterday at 2:48 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

Do you spend some time sitting by his bed before leaving his room?

Yes shema , cuddles a few min chat etc

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:29 am

Bump

amother

Tulip

Today at 6:32 am

I like Jo Frosts bedtime routine- it keeps it pleasant and for the first few days it’s time consuming- the kids get it and rly end up w a peaceful bedtime routine. You do all of the pre bedtime stuff. Snack, drink, bath teeth brushing story etc and then put the child in bed. If child comes out, you say it’s bedtime and carry them back to bed. After that every time child comes out, you pick them up and put them back into bed without a word. The first night it could be 50 times. By night number 2 it’s down to 10 x and by night #3 or 4 the kid gets the point that bedtime is bedtime and stays in bed. Worked for my most active kids and bedtime is still a smooth process yrs later

amother

Hydrangea

Today at 6:34 am

Is he going to bed too early? Is he still napping in the day or maybe falling asleep on the bus ride home?

amother

Salmon

Today at 6:39 am

amother Tulip wrote:

I was going to say Supernannys bedtime routine Smile

Watch it on YT and how to implement it. It works but you must stand your ground and not give in.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 4:37 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Thank you for this. I tried it tonight at bedtime. It actually made him so so sad and he cried a lot , it took a good hour or so but eventually he fell asleep.
It was such a draining process but il stick with it tomorrow and see if it gets easier

amother

Cobalt

Today at 4:38 pm

I lie with my kids till they’re asleep till about age 5

tichellady

Today at 4:51 pm

Having a visual schedule and sticking to it helps our kids

amother

Peony

Today at 4:55 pm

I have a tonie box for my daughter and I let her choose a story every night to listen to

amother

Electricblue

Today at 6:23 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

I lie with my kids till they’re asleep till about age 5

Do not do this if you ever have PTA, a wedding, plan to go the mikva ever again.

OlamChessed

Today at 7:12 pm

This happened to me. It may not be the same circumstance but for my ds I realized he was fighting to go to sleep so I realized he just wanted me to be next to him so we have a regular bedtime routine (bath, brushing teeth, 1-3 books and talk about our day/ convo Shema and songs) and I will institute quite time where I’m around in the room holding his hand. There are usually some variations that we help him like we go in every 3-4 minutes. He will inevitably come out and say mommy mommy and I will say 1 or two more min or it’s now time.
What I have found to be helpful as well.
Make sure he eats well before going to sleep
Make sure his energy is out- sometimes a late night 6pm freeze dance helps.
Make sure he doesn’t have a nap during the day
Also help him learn to unwind - lots of good stories and books helps with this! (This one takes lots of time)
As for reference my ds did this for 2 years from the moment we transitioned him from his crib to toddler bed until 4.5 years old. I think some kids who are more nervous / anxious/antsy tend to fight sleep and it’s much harder for them to learn the skill, but keeping bedtime routine a happy time goes a long way (really!!) tried threatening in the beginning and realized very shortly after it was going downhill. they really love you and are just scared to be by themselves and don’t like this part of falling asleep, help them learn to love it by help positive associations with it Smile

Hope this helps
Hatzlacha Rabbah!!

amother

Ecru

Today at 7:32 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

Do not do this if you ever have PTA, a wedding, plan to go the mikva ever again.

Or if you have multiple little kids in different rooms. Or if you're the type to be exhausted and fall asleep yourself. Or if you have anything else you need to get done every night.

amother

Dodgerblue

Today at 7:35 pm

Are your kids too noisy downstairs.
My young kids under 5 feel like theyre being punished when everyone else is still downstairs..

Its hard, but I do lay with my 2 and 5 year olds and sit in their room until they fall asleep.

And to the poster above who said not to do this, the nights when I have an event and need to go out my kids understand that today I need to go out but older sister or brother will check on you..

And they never get into bed bef 8 and thats a good night, so theyre tired and within 10 min theyre out sleeping..

I also just got a tonie box for them for chanukah, so hope that will be exciting enough for me to leave them with it..

Which tonies would you say are the most interesting and longest to get?

amother

Melon

Today at 7:37 pm

Melatonin is only thing that worked for us. Tried every routine. Every method. Low dose and it’s life changing

amother

Foxglove

Today at 7:41 pm

I was dealing with a similar situation with my soon to be 4yr old. Plus my son would land in my bed at some point during the night too.
We tried charts, it didnt really help. He needed instant gratification.
So heres what I did that finally worked. I took him with me on a trip to the toy store. We bought a bunch of new toys and prizes. All price ranges but mostly just smaller prizes that were cheap and wont last too long. Each night, he chooses a prize or tot that he’ll get to open in the morning. It’s been a few weeks and it’s worked wonders BH
Bath, shema, cuddles and a kiss good night. BH so far so good!

giftedmom

Today at 7:45 pm

Sounds like he might need a later bedtime

amother

Lily

Today at 10:22 pm

Melatonin

Sleep stories (like on calm)

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