Sleepovers | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 12:04 pm

My 12 yr old dd has a group of friends that love to have sleepovers. Sometimes she's included, sometimes she isn't. The issue is every time she goes she is on a different wavelength than everyone else on when to go to bed. She's had ones where them girls are up until 2.. 3 or even 4AM.
At home she's in bed sometime between 10-11PM and for a sleepover she'd be okay with sometime around midnight/12:30 but that's sort of her limit. She doesn't feel so great if she doesn't go to sleep by then. I once brought it up with one of the moms and they agreed and said "would do their best to encourage the girls to go to sleep sooner." In every case though, the parents go to sleep and the kids say they'll be in bed by a certain time but they are not. They really want to stay up as late as possible, maybe even pull an all-nighter. How can my dd still go to these sleepovers and not be excluded from the fun? We're at such a loss for what to do. There isn't some place she can just go and go to sleep while the others are in another room. Their houses aren't that big and the hangout spot is wherever they are sleeping also.

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 1:04 pm

I don't think it makes sense to try to control the sleepover. She will just have to decide what she wants to deal with and whether the fun is worth it.

I also have a DD who falls asleep earlier than her friends, but she doesn't seem to mind sleeping amidst noise and havoc.

Chayalle

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 1:22 pm

I have two things I tell my girls about sleepovers:
1. No sleepovers on school nights
2. You can call me at any time to be picked up.

Rabbit613's idea has worked for some of my kids. Sometimes an all-nighter is too much pressure for a teen.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 25 2024, 9:52 pm

We don't have someone up at midnight to pick her up. We just don't function well staying up that late. Also picking up doesn't work if it's on a Friday night, which often happens. They are not school night sleepovers.

I see it's not good for any of these girls to be up so late but it doesn't sound like there's much to do about the actual status quo.