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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
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amother
OP
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 Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:16 am
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My 4 year old wakes up relatively early and comes bounding into our room, full of energy and wanting to party every morning. I tried doing the red light/green light clock but he didn’t like it and unplugged it. I feel like he’s old enough to play by himself in the morning till we get up. Is that unrealistic? If your kids don’t wake you up, how did you train them not to?
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giftedmom
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:20 am
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It’s unrealistic and I don’t train my kids. When they’re actually old enough they don’t need to wake us up anymore. Sometimes if we’re lucky on shabbos the younger siblings have the older ones to entertain them so we can sleep a bit longer.
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mha3484
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:25 am
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Its a good age to start teaching them to self entertain in small increments, gradually increasing as they get older. But its not a fast process.
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amother
Moonstone
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:28 am
I get up before him for work and wake him to get ready for school
On shabbos and Sunday he wakes us but I don’t mind. In my opinion if he’s up we need to be too
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amother
Mocha
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:30 am
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My 4 yr old wakes me up but I am working on having him stay out of my room with charts and prizes. BH it has been working. He can take cereal himself, drinks, snacks, and can play until I wake up
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jd1212
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:34 am
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how about setting up a desirable breakfast that he can take from the fridge himself in the morning?
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amother
Cream
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:25 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | My 4 year old wakes up relatively early and comes bounding into our room, full of energy and wanting to party every morning. I tried doing the red light/green light clock but he didn’t like it and unplugged it. I feel like he’s old enough to play by himself in the morning till we get up. Is that unrealistic? If your kids don’t wake you up, how did you train them not to? |
Yep every morning at 6. I used to have a hard time when she was little and I regret it so much. I have several friends who let their babies and toddlers play in their playpen alone. So I did aswell. One day I realized how lonely that must feel. And that I dont want her to feel unwanted or unloved. So I decided to change that. Now I greet her with a big kiss and hug and our mornings have improved massively. Just have to make sure I go to bed on time so I am not grumpy.
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tichellady
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:54 pm
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I don’t think it’s realistic but you can work on having him get used to not coming out until the clock is green
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honeybee1234
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:06 pm
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Set up an arts and crafts table in the child's bedroom with all sorts of supplies and activity books. It's for them to use in the morning. You can also start to teach them how to recognize numbers and how to read a clock.
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amother
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:40 pm
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My now-5 year old learned long ago to entertain herself in the morning, from when she was 3. She gets up crazy early, it was unrealistic for me to get up that early every morning just to keep her company. We started with a color changing clock, to teach her when she needs to stay in bed, when she can get out of bed and play in her room or the playroom, and when she can come to me. We used to set up a bowl of cereal for her, with a little bottle of milk in the fridge, and she would make herself cereal when she was ready. Other than that, she entertained herself until it was the right time for us to be up. We locked cabinets we didn't want her getting into. Now she can do what she wants as soon as she gets up, and she knows to wait for me to come out.
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amother
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:46 pm
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I think it’s realistic. My kids have ok wake to clocks. I have toys for them in their room. I tell them they can be out of bed playing but not waking anyone up until it’s green. None of my kids had an issue following it at 4. My kid at 4 is learning letters, how to cut and trace, follow 3 step directions, when to sit in class and when it’s play time.. pretty sure knowing they are supposed to play and not wake people up is an even easier skill…
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amother
Aqua
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 2:42 pm
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My dh claims that I wake up before G-d (roughly 4-4.30 a.m.) so, no.
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tichellady
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 3:12 pm
| amother Electricblue wrote: | | I think it’s realistic. My kids have ok wake to clocks. I have toys for them in their room. I tell them they can be out of bed playing but not waking anyone up until it’s green. None of my kids had an issue following it at 4. My kid at 4 is learning letters, how to cut and trace, follow 3 step directions, when to sit in class and when it’s play time.. pretty sure knowing they are supposed to play and not wake people up is an even easier skill… |
Your kids do not sound so typical honestly. Or rather there is a large range of what four year olds are capable of and you shouldn’t assume all four year olds are like yours.
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amother
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 3:26 pm
| tichellady wrote: | | Your kids do not sound so typical honestly. Or rather there is a large range of what four year olds are capable of and you shouldn’t assume all four year olds are like yours. |
She's right though that those are all skills 4 yr olds are learning in Kg. It's not crazy to think they can understand when is playtime, when is lunch time, when is circle time, when is sleep-time...
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tichellady
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Fri, Nov 22 2024, 3:51 pm
| amother Powderblue wrote: | | She's right though that those are all skills 4 yr olds are learning in Kg. It's not crazy to think they can understand when is playtime, when is lunch time, when is circle time, when is sleep-time... |
Learning skills doesn’t mean skills are acquired. Do you work with children? I don’t see what one thing has to do with another. Not every four year old has the impulse control to play quietly without seeing their parent after a night of sleeping and I don’t think that makes them a bad kid. It also depends what time and how long op is talking about. I think my kids can do it for about 5-10 minutes in the morning but not one hour
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amother
Skyblue
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Sat, Nov 23 2024, 11:52 am
My kids come into my bed or read a book if it's too early.
It's part of being a parent whilst they are young. We can't just sleep to our schedule.
Now there are 3 of them between 3-7 the first come into my bed and sometimes all otherwise they play together or on a good day will start getting dressed
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amother
Peru
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Sat, Nov 23 2024, 6:33 pm
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My 3 year old wakes up and takes herself downstairs quietly, she washes herself negel casserole and uses the bathroom and will play quietly for about 30 minutes or so. She wakes up at 630 and I don't get out of bed until 7.
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amother
Salmon
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Sat, Nov 23 2024, 6:37 pm
I love negel casserole  .
But no, it’s not realistic.
4 year olds need their mommy. Whether it is morning, evening or night.
One day you’ll realize that 4 year olds are almost babies.
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amother
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Sat, Nov 23 2024, 6:48 pm
| tichellady wrote: | | Learning skills doesn’t mean skills are acquired. Do you work with children? I don’t see what one thing has to do with another. Not every four year old has the impulse control to play quietly without seeing their parent after a night of sleeping and I don’t think that makes them a bad kid. It also depends what time and how long op is talking about. I think my kids can do it for about 5-10 minutes in the morning but not one hour |
Yes, I spent several years working with 4 yr olds in the classroom, and I currently have a 3 yr old and 5 yr old, among others.
My point was that if these are skills they are working with in a KG classroom, then it's a skill they expect the average child that age to be able to use. You don't see them teaching addition and reading to 4 yr olds, because those are not skills the average 4 yr old can grasp just yet. But knowing what to do at playtime and what to do at lunch time is something the average 4 yr old can understand, and so it's not out of the realm of possibility for a 4 yr old to know how to entertain themself quietly in the morning until the right time for everyone else to join them, as evidenced by several people's experience on this thread. Nobody claimed that every child can do everything that every other average child can, but my point was in response to someone saying that it's unrealistic for a 4-year-old to be able to do this, which I don't agree with. Clearly there are children out there who can, so if OP wants to try to work with her child to get them to that point, I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand.
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