Terrified of buying a house

amother

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:59 am

We currently live in a tiny apartment which we have outgrown and it’s time to think about moving but I am absolutely terrified of the commitment and mortgages and legalities it comes with.
I know people do it all the time but I don’t know how. Please explain how one sleeps calmly knowing todays insane everyday prices but a mortgage due by hook it by crook.

amother

Aster

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:03 pm

Buying a house is an investment. Instead of paying rent you own it more each year. You try to buy a house within your means so the mortgage doesn't choke you. Make sure the house suits your needs. The alternative is buying an apartment that you can see yourself living in a while. My sister in law did that. Cheaper but possibly less long term.

amother

Glitter

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 12:07 pm

Rent made me way more nervous. It was money in the toilet and I was living at the landlord’s whim and could be thrown out whenever. My house value goes up every year. I can sell and make a profit should I need to. It is so valuable to own property. If the money works on paper you don’t have to panic.

amother

Foxglove

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:03 pm

I felt the same way. Bought 5 years ago. Value has jumped tremendously. Im paying monthly now way way less than any rental of the same size. The menuchas hanefesh is tremendous; I know of two people who are currently being sent by their landlords. They can't afford to rent anything else now...

amother

Moccasin

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 1:43 pm

Buying a house is an investment. It will give you stability while renting won't. Prices only get worse each yr.if it's the process that bothers you just jump in and do what you gotta do.if you are looking at houses in the frum market that you honestly to not have the money or a plan to pay for. Then stop and decide if you value yours and your husband's mental health. Purchasing multi million dollar homes is not meant for most even if living in frum society makes us think so. If you can't afford it please find a ln alternative living option that fits in your budget. Your children don't need to experience a young father I'll with heart failure or worse cv because of bills. Or being in foreclosure and removed by the Marshalls

amother

Brickred

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 2:01 pm

Umm miracles and credit card debt and I’m entirely serious. I did have to switch professions and work more hours to accommodate.

Originally when we went in to it we had a steady source of additional income and while we were in contract it fell apart. My husband works much longer hours than he used to as well, and it’s extremely hard.

I do think that you need to have some sort of plan. Like can you take an additional job? Can your husband? But it is possible to swing it month by month with a lot of stress

wrkngmomof2

Fri, Nov 22 2024, 2:18 pm

I understand it’s very very scary. I will give you a picture of what may happen if you give into your fears and dont buy.
My parents never bought a house. They lived in the same apartment for 30+ years. Then, the landlord decided to sell and evicted them. They had nowhere to go. At an age when they should have been relaxing a bit and looking forward to retiring they suddenly were at a loss. My father deteriorated after that and I believe the emotional burden took a toll on him. Unfortunately my father was niftar and left my mother with nothing at all. She gets an insignificant SS check monthly and lives off of that, but my siblings and I take care of her living arrangements.
I’m not saying that you need to buy or someone will die, just giving you a perspective of thinking long term.
It may be very tough but in my opinion it’s the smart, responsible thing to do.
Hatzlocha with whatever decision you make.

imaima ↓

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 12:40 pm

wrkngmomof2 wrote:

May I ask why she/they didn’t rent another apartment?

amother

Topaz

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 12:48 pm

imaima wrote:

May I ask why she/they didn’t rent another apartment?

There's someone in my neighborhood now that has been here for the last 30 yrs they are in their 50s or 60s atleast and their landlord wants to move in so they have to move, there is nowhere in the neighborhood that they can rent unless they go to a place on the 4th floor without a elevator.
During the last decade or 2 all the apartments were bought to live in, it's not an area for investing in rentals.
They are really stuck now and may have to move to a completely new area which isn't easy for people of that age.
It gets tough to rent the older we get.

amother

Geranium

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 12:48 pm

wrkngmomof2 wrote:

Im so sorry for your mothers situation, but this is not only about owning a home but about so much more. Did your father work? Your mother? There is a lot not told in your post.

↑ imaima

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 12:56 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

Thank you
You aren’t the poster though who I asked

amother

Salmon

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 7:19 pm

A home is an investment. Your mortgage will hopefully be the same over time, while rent increases. I would wait to buy, personally. I’m hoping to see interest rates and inflation decrease under Trump. Let’s hope. The rates are not great right now.

amother

Midnight

Sat, Nov 23 2024, 8:54 pm

Just another perspective to take into account.
We bought our first home very young, early 20s with 2 little kids. We thought we were so smart, perhaps we were.
What I didn't take into account was home ownership, this was a detached private home in suburbs, it's a lot of responsibility.
I was a young working mother of little kids, not wealthy, dh had certain mental health struggles and wasn't the most responsible person
So many issues that were now extra stuff on my shoulders. Basement floods, plumbing issues, even general lawn, garbage, snow, gutters maintenance.

Eventually we outgrew our starter home, I chose to sell and rent a large apartment, any issues I call the management. I'm still a busy working mother, and this works best for our needs, I'm grateful.

I'm not saying my experience would be everyone's. I'm saying that you also need to take into account that not only will expenses grow, your responsibilities will as well. If you're also going to have to work more hours, how will that work. Make sure your husband is very on board with the new responsibilities and will shoulder his share.

amother

Indigo

Sun, Nov 24 2024, 1:22 am

amother Geranium wrote:

Im so sorry for your mothers situation, but this is not only about owning a home but about so much more. Did your father work? Your mother? There is a lot not told in your post.

I wont be as dramatic, but this is my grandparents story.

They both worked there whole life, and made a point of paying full tuiton. When they moved to Brooklyn they where living for years in a very nice spacious rental that never went up and they where to scared to take the plunge after loosing money in real estate twice before.

Well, the landlord died, the new owner tripled the rent so they had to move to a 1 bedroom apartment much much smaller. My grandfather is retired, and they have some savings, but I believe the reason my grandmother is still working at 80 is because they would need to take a HUGE lifestyle reduction (and they are not fancy people) when she retires.

The inflation jumps mean that they would be very tight, even though they both had good jobs and where maxing out retirement savings.

The reality is that the only way to retire with any menuchas hanefesh is with a paid off mortgage. Even people who needed to dip in to marry off there kids can downsize and be mortgage free, but if they dont have that property its really really hard.

It also means you need to stretch yourself a bit when you buy. In a responsible way, but its short term pain for long term pleasure.