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Forum
-> Children's Health
-> Allergies
amother
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 Thu, Nov 21 2024, 6:56 pm
I just need someone to talk to, hopefully someone that understands allegergies beyond peanuts and epipens. Thank you Imamothers.
My son has a long list of allergies, food and environmental. he is allergic to more things than not but he can tolerate most foods except 4 or 5 are Severe. he also has asthma triggered by viruses and allergies. for the past few months he has been much more symptomatic. hives/rash, eczema (has not had in 3 years), respiratory issues much more common with illness, etc… My son functions like a normal kid, so people don’t understand why I’m so worried about his allergies that are not anaphylactic. (be cause they know someone with 5 allergies or less allergies who carries an epipen), but In find it hard to explain my son is different because there is no proof, just my experience and a bit of guidance from doctors allergist and lots if research.
I just said to my husband last night that either my son is allergic to school or I’m crazy like other people probably think I am. It just downed on me that he is probably allergic to the class pet. it is a Ginny pig, which he is nit tested for but his mice allergy is very high and they are cross allergens. the allergist says theres no point in even testing he is probably allergic.
I broke the news to my son, he took it well. but now my concern is how the school and the other parents will react after I request to be accommodated. I’m not sure being in the same room is a problem. the school staff already thinks I’m overboard, From their point of view, if there is an anaphylactic response give an epi. have a nice day. I dont think they had to administer an epipen yet. and my sons issue is more than anaphylaxis, its more so putting mire load on the immune system making him vulnerable to viruses. and susceptible to asthma attacks and pneumonia. when I say it to my self it sounds like a stretch, but I know it to be true from trial and error and research.
Does anyone else in the world understand me or can relate?
How can I help others understand instead of viewing me like a pest for needing accommodations due to allergies(I’ve been on the phone with the school every week since school started, half because they dont want I non jewish shadow in the class monitoring my son, half because I suspected he was reacting to something in the building like mold)
Or do I need to lighten up?
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amother
Iris
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:02 pm
You're protecting your son. Nobody else will. And he can't protect himself yet.
Your child has a medical condition. A disability. Just because they're ignorant and call it " just allergies" doesn't mean they're right. (Fyi, when they're talking to them. I wouldn't call it allergies. I would call it an autoimmune disease.)
Keep fighting for him
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yiddishmom
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:06 pm
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Of course allergies put a strain on the immune system!!!
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:30 pm
Thank you for helping me feel a little sane.
(it’s ok to still comment if you think I’m not sane).
writing out my spiel helped me put my perspective in perspective:)..It’s not just allegies, it’s what the allergies do to his body.
But Istill don’t know where to draw the line. Obviously breathing risks and illnesses are not negotiable, but what about milder symptoms to environmental allergies like eczema, itchy skin, watery eyes, stuffy nose, etc. Do I protect him from those too, or let him live like his peers.
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amother
White
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:32 pm
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I wish there was something legally binding to protect him. In public schools an allergy kid can have a 504 plan.
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Raizle
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:42 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I just need someone to talk to, hopefully someone that understands allegergies beyond peanuts and epipens. Thank you Imamothers.
My son has a long list of allergies, food and environmental. he is allergic to more things than not but he can tolerate most foods except 4 or 5 are Severe. he also has asthma triggered by viruses and allergies. for the past few months he has been much more symptomatic. hives/rash, eczema (has not had in 3 years), respiratory issues much more common with illness, etc… My son functions like a normal kid, so people don’t understand why I’m so worried about his allergies that are not anaphylactic. (be cause they know someone with 5 allergies or less allergies who carries an epipen), but In find it hard to explain my son is different because there is no proof, just my experience and a bit of guidance from doctors allergist and lots if research.
I just said to my husband last night that either my son is allergic to school or I’m crazy like other people probably think I am. It just downed on me that he is probably allergic to the class pet. it is a Ginny pig, which he is nit tested for but his mice allergy is very high and they are cross allergens. the allergist says theres no point in even testing he is probably allergic.
I broke the news to my son, he took it well. but now my concern is how the school and the other parents will react after I request to be accommodated. I’m not sure being in the same room is a problem. the school staff already thinks I’m overboard, From their point of view, if there is an anaphylactic response give an epi. have a nice day. I dont think they had to administer an epipen yet. and my sons issue is more than anaphylaxis, its more so putting mire load on the immune system making him vulnerable to viruses. and susceptible to asthma attacks and pneumonia. when I say it to my self it sounds like a stretch, but I know it to be true from trial and error and research.
Does anyone else in the world understand me or can relate?
How can I help others understand instead of viewing me like a pest for needing accommodations due to allergies(I’ve been on the phone with the school every week since school started, half because they dont want I non jewish shadow in the class monitoring my son, half because I suspected he was reacting to something in the building like mold)
Or do I need to lighten up? |
I understand the allergy element.
2 things. Was he playing with it? What would happen if he stopped playing and be moved to the other side of the room?
Second, if it's still an issue maybe you should get a doctor's note explaining his allergies.
He should definately be accommodated, it's not fair to have him be uncomfortable all year and be expected to learn at the same time.
If I were you though I'd avoid saying it's "more then anaphylactic"
You won't be taken seriously if you try to make that claim as anaphylaxis left untreated is deadly.
More instantly then being susceptible to viruses.
I do understand where you are coming from but be careful with your wording
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amother
Topaz
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:44 pm
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I’d say it in simple terms, he’s allergic and it’s making him sick which makes it impossible for him to learn properly. How can we accommodate him better in the classroom?
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mushkamothers
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Thank you for helping me feel a little sane.
(it’s ok to still comment if you think I’m not sane).
writing out my spiel helped me put my perspective in perspective:)..It’s not just allegies, it’s what the allergies do to his body.
But Istill don’t know where to draw the line. Obviously breathing risks and illnesses are not negotiable, but what about milder symptoms to environmental allergies like eczema, itchy skin, watery eyes, stuffy nose, etc. Do I protect him from those too, or let him live like his peers. |
But he's not living like his peers
He does need to be protected
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amother
Pewter
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:51 pm
| amother Topaz wrote: | | I’d say it in simple terms, he’s allergic and it’s making him sick which makes it impossible for him to learn properly. How can we accommodate him better in the classroom? |
I wouldn’t even mention anything about the learning. It’s making him SICK! How is that not enough?
I’m allergic to few things, bur I recently became allergic to dogs. My throat becomes itchy and painful, my nose gets runny, I sneeze nonstop, my eyes itch and water, I feel my whole body burning and crawling. It’s AWFUL. If he experiences anything similar I would literally not stop until that Guinea pig is out of the class. Offer to pay for a replacement goldfish or lizard if you have to (make sure he’s not allergic to reptiles- I’ve never heard of it but maybe it’s a thing)
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amother
Daylily
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:54 pm
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I'm in school administration and I don't know why you think you're crazy. Of course we would accommodate and choose a new class let, why on earth would we keep a pet in a classroom with a child who is allergic to it?
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 7:58 pm
| amother White wrote: | | I wish there was something legally binding to protect him. In public schools an allergy kid can have a 504 plan. |
if you mean 504 accommodation, I believe you can request it in Private school too in NY. I happen to have medical accommodations via IEP but the principle has been pressuring me to just do without the non jewish para because the Rebbi is uncomfortable speaking about certain topic with a [gentile] in the room.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:03 pm
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What's the problem op? You have a reasonable request, communicate with the teacher/school/both
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:03 pm
| Raizle wrote: | I understand the allergy element.
2 things. Was he playing with it? What would happen if he stopped playing and be moved to the other side of the room?
Second, if it's still an issue maybe you should get a doctor's note explaining his allergies.
He should definately be accommodated, it's not fair to have him be uncomfortable all year and be expected to learn at the same time.
If I were you though I'd avoid saying it's "more then anaphylactic"
You won't be taken seriously if you try to make that claim as anaphylaxis left untreated is deadly.
More instantly then being susceptible to viruses.
I do understand where you are coming from but be careful with your wording |
Yes all he has played with him. I’m not sure if the allergens are in the air or not. if not then staying away would work, if so then his breathing/immune system would probably still be affected I believe (this exposure is nee to us, so I am not sure, but I assume it is similar to dog allergies which we have experience.)
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:09 pm
| amother Topaz wrote: | | I’d say it in simple terms, he’s allergic and it’s making him sick which makes it impossible for him to learn properly. How can we accommodate him better in the classroom? |
Right I forgot about the learning aspect (part of me knew there was a reason to stand strong but I could not remember thus reason) on two different points.
1) its harder to focus when you are in pain/discomfort or itchy
2) and chronic inflammation also inflames the Brain, which could effect learning.
Baruch hashem his allergies have been under control until now. now I don’t know what to expect.
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:10 pm
Does your son have mcas? Is he on any daily meds?
Yes, of course you can and should speak up for him. The class pet can and should be rehomed to another classroom. His classroom can get goldfish or another pet that won't make him sick. If you can, offer to help them acquire the new pet. And please ask them not to tell the class that they have to get rid of it because of your son, just tell them it's another class's turn to have it.
Don't let anyone make you think you're crazy. There are kids like this and mine is one of them too. It's hard for most people to understand. I won't bore you with all the stories I've experienced of people, even close relatives, who DO. NOT. GET. IT.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:11 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Right I forgot about the learning aspect (part of me knew there was a reason to stand strong but I could not remember thus reason) on two different points.
1) its harder to focus when you are in pain/discomfort or itchy
2) and chronic inflammation also inflames the Brain, which could effect learning.
Baruch hashem his allergies have been under control until now. now I don’t know what to expect. |
The reason is your child's well-being. That's enough. You don't need to justify anything.
Stop doubting yourself.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:11 pm
| amother Tealblue wrote: | | What's the problem op? You have a reasonable request, communicate with the teacher/school/both | the problem is they want to pressure me into not having them accommodate him, and it made me have doubts that I was being overly dramatic.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:15 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | the problem is they want to pressure me into not having them accommodate him, and it made me have doubts that I was being overly dramatic. |
How do you know they want to pressure you and not accommodate?? Did you already discuss this with them? Sounded like you didn't yet
You're COMPLETELY REASONABLE. I REPEAT: COMPLETELY REASONABLE.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:19 pm
| amother Mauve wrote: | Does your son have mcas? Is he on any daily meds?
Yes, of course you can and should speak up for him. The class pet can and should be rehomed to another classroom. His classroom can get goldfish or another pet that won't make him sick. If you can, offer to help them acquire the new pet. And please ask them not to tell the class that they have to get rid of it because of your son, just tell them it's another class's turn to have it.
Don't let anyone make you think you're crazy. There are kids like this and mine is one of them too. It's hard for most people to understand. I won't bore you with all the stories I've experienced of people, even close relatives, who DO. NOT. GET. IT. | I can relate…his grandfather was highly offended when I suggested giving the their dog up for adoption due to my son being allergic and we cant visit a house where the dog lives because my son gets sick every time. I got a whole lecture about how they love the dog and it was insensitive for me to even suggest it. They still invite us frequently, and sound surprised when I decline even though I reiterate that my son cant go in the house because of the dog. it just never sinks in yet.
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amother
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Thu, Nov 21 2024, 8:21 pm
| amother Mauve wrote: | Does your son have mcas? Is he on any daily meds?
Yes, of course you can and should speak up for him. The class pet can and should be rehomed to another classroom. His classroom can get goldfish or another pet that won't make him sick. If you can, offer to help them acquire the new pet. And please ask them not to tell the class that they have to get rid of it because of your son, just tell them it's another class's turn to have it.
Don't let anyone make you think you're crazy. There are kids like this and mine is one of them too. It's hard for most people to understand. I won't bore you with all the stories I've experienced of people, even close relatives, who DO. NOT. GET. IT. | oh and what are MCAs?
and he is on daiily inhaler now due to increase illness recently. no other meds.
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