Baby crying while babysitter in bathroom

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 12:49 pm

I'm not sure if I shoudl expect anything different ans what I want but I'm a little annoyed. My babysitter spends a few minutes in the bathroom and I hear my baby screaming in thr other room. I can sometimes leave the work I'm doing and go to her and sometimes I can't.

Anyone experience this and have ideas for how I can either approach it (but idk how to do it differently because I don't want the babysitter to take the baby into the bathroom or anything) or just calm myself down? For reference, my Abby rarely cries Baruch Hashem so it's alarming when this happens.

amother

Oak

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 1:35 pm

Are you a first time mom?

Babies sometimes have to cry, obviously we pick them up and calm them/ take care of their needs as soon as possible, but if you're taking care of yourself or another kid sometimes there's no choice

amother

Orange

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 1:49 pm

How old is baby?
Sometimes helps to talk to them. I babysit and I always tell the babies I'm going to the bathroom. And if needed continue to talk to them while I'm in there so that they keep hearing my voice. With pre-crawlers I leave the door open a bit so I don't have to talk as loud.
The other strategy is distraction. Obviously changes by age but maybe putting baby in a bouncer/jumper or giving them a new toy to play with or chew on or look at. Can often keep their attention until you (or the babsitter) come out.

I totally get you wanting to minimize your baby's crying and that is a fair and reasonable thing to care about. It is also true that sometimes babies cry, and that's okay.

Good luck!

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 1:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

You ar home when the babysitter is there?
OP, if this is your first child just know that babies DO and WILL cry. Thats how god programmed them. Truly. And its really ok for them to cry. Its even more ok for a person to be able to go pee or relieve their bowels. The baby will be fine. I promise.
If you are working from home with a babysitter there, and you dont want to hear your baby cry, ever, maybe get a white noise machine or something so you never hear your child.

miami85

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:00 pm

babies generally have one form of communication, it is meant to sound irritating so that we dont completely ignore them, but baby will be fine if caregiver has to use bathroom first.

amother

Coffee

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:05 pm

What a bizarre thought. The babysitter shouldn't be using the bathroom at all when she is working?
Does she put the baby in a safe space? Is she gone for more than 5 minutes?

amother

Ruby

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:06 pm

I used to have a much harder time hearing my kids cry as babies. I remember that feeling inside when someone else was supposed to be picking them up, giving them a bottle etc. and feeling like "just do it already!".

I think at some point I realized that part of the reason for this for me, was that it was ingrained in me since I was a child that it's not ok for babies to cry. Babies are supposed to behave, be quiet, it's a sign of good parenting if babies don't kvetch... Obviously this is not correct or healthy. But with therapy and time I came to be more understanding of what should be and adopting healthier mindsets and behaviors.

So yes, babies do cry, it's how they communicate. And it's ok that it bothers you that your baby is crying, you are the baby's mother and want to take care of her. But it's not unsafe or bad for your baby to be crying in a normal setting for a short amount of time, as long as it isn't negligence or something else harmful that's happening.

amother

Lightgreen ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 2:08 pm

I’m not sure what ur question is. Do u want to tell the babysitter that she can’t use the bathroom?
We all leave our babies at some point for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Nothing will happen if they cry for a few minutes

amother

↑ Lightgreen

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 4:16 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

Yes, give your babysitter proper scheduled breaks and watch your baby then. That's what teachers do.

And what if she needs the bathroom in between those breaks??? A person can’t always wait

amother

Valerian

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 5:14 pm

This reminds me of when I was in the hospital after a baby and the nurse yelled at me bc I went to the bathroom 2 feet over and didn't bring the baby to the nursery so I could to the bathroom 🙃

Op, your babysitter needs to go to the bathroom. Get some ear plugs!

amother

Camellia

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 5:45 pm

I remember taking my baby along with me in bathroom. Either in a seat or..held lol

I even nursed her in desperate times. Don’t judge lol. Some times it was necessary

amother

Dill

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 5:49 pm

amother Camellia wrote:

I remember taking my baby along with me in bathroom. Either in a seat or..held lol

I even nursed her in desperate times. Don’t judge lol. Some times it was necessary

Many of us have

But if I was going to expect a babysitter to do that, I would tell her in advance before I hire her