The kids suffer | Imamother

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 10:33 pm

Those who know what I'm referring to, will admit it is a problem.
Those who don't know, or disagree , you're entitled to your opinion.
This is an anonymous forum. For all I know, you can be a teenager, a man, who knows?
So I will not debate this further, since some people are bent on twisting my words around. But I'm very glad this brought about a discussion at the very least.

And again, teachers are most certainly heros. It is not my intent to bash them in any way.

amother

Thistle ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 10:48 pm

As a teacher, this thread is hurtful.

OP, I can tell you're not a teacher. I am currently a first year teacher, but I am not that young - I already have a nice size family and busy life. Though I always had respect for my children's teachers, there was no way to understand just how difficult this job is. It requires a tremendous amount of energy and patience and time.

I think I'm a good teacher. I'm really putting in a lot of effort. Honestly, I think my family is feeling strain from all the hard work I'm putting in. But I am not perfect. Even though I'm not expecting, or making a chasuna, etc. Just regular life. Even though I try my best, it's possible a child may come home from school upset about something that happened that day. I am always happy to address any issues that come up.

You seem to be holding teachers to an impossible standard. Of course I want my child to have caring teachers, but there really is a limit. As warm and caring as a teacher is, this job is not her whole life.

Did you have a particular bad experience that you are basing this rant off of?

amother

Moccasin ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 11:25 pm

OP, just jumping in at the beginning, so I don't know what's been said in the past seven pages, but I agree with you. Case in point. My six-yo son has autism. He uses 100% of the special needs money given to our school by the public school system. He can only manage with routine. Imagine my surprise when I was informed by the school that his new Judaica teacher, whom he would spend half the day with, started in August in her 8th month of pregnancy and would be leaving before yontif, and then his class had a revolving door of subs until they found someone permanent in November. I was so upset.

If they felt the need to hire this woman, even though they had other options who would be there the entire year, why couldn't they put her in one of the many other grades without a special needs child who can only hope to succeed with routine? She has no special skills for his age group, nothing that would make her unqualified for any other grade. They made this choice knowing my child would suffer, and honestly, I'm still upset by it, which I told them. It was mind boggling to me, as we have had many, many meetings about how much my little guy struggles.

↑ Sewsew_mom

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 11:27 pm

OP. Homeschooling is ways an option. I've learnt if I don't like something in the system chances are I can't change it. Complaining about it just makes me a miserable person. So I don't need to be part of it.
Find a different school. Find a diff system that works better for you.
Noones solving this problem because most people don't find it to be a problem. This is life. Certain things bothered me about school and I know I have the option to homeschool. And I'll be the best teacher. Thing is.. That won't be the best for me or my kids. So I accept the system. And I'm happier!

amother

↑ Thistle ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 11:53 pm

amother Moccasin wrote:

I am really sorry for your son's struggles. This kind of situation is difficult even for the average child. But a school does not fire a teacher because she's expecting. And if she has been teaching this grade previously, they will not rearrange the entire staff and have teachers preparing new curriculum for one child. It's not practical and not fair. Even though it's understandably difficult for your son.

Of course we all want the best for our children. But running a school is so much more complex than parents realize.

amother

↑ Moccasin ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 11:58 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

Teachers in higher paying schools get pregnant, too.

I think the difference is that teachers in public schools, for example, are expected to show up to their job, even if pregnant, or else they will lose their job and benefits.

In the frum world, to a pregnant teacher, teaching is the thing she sometimes does for extra cash in between doctors appointments and taking care of her existing kids. Teaching is an afterthought, a hobby, not her FT job, as it is for teachers in the public or more professional schools. This is part of the reason my autistic child suffered. His teacher was only around for about 3-4 weeks before she went into labor, and even when she was "there," she left early every day, was never able to meet with us or connect with us, even though we need to be able to reach our son's teachers to discuss how things are going for him, as he cannot communicate well.

amother

↑ Moccasin ↓

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 12:06 am

amother Thistle wrote:

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear. She has never worked at the school before, and I don't know if she even has any experience teaching. So, no, she had not "been teaching this grade previously."

And you're right, "school does not fire a teacher because she's expecting." Firing was not part of the equation. They actually chose to hire her brand new. She was hired to start in August knowing she would be out in September. They also had a second woman apply who could have been there the entire year, but they chose the pregnant woman instead.

Regarding your comment that "they will not rearrange the entire staff and have teachers preparing new curriculum for one child." Why not? They were filling an empty spot, who could have been filled by anyone. They sit and make decisions about where to put teachers each summer. It would have been no trouble to simply put her elsewhere in a class with children who could have handed the transition better.

But they chose to assign her to my son's class, even though we met over the summer and I begged them to put someone qualified in his class. They actually did everything they could to set him up to fail.

amother

↑ Moccasin

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 12:12 am

amother Garnet wrote:

My MO cousin is a teacher in an MO school, she got married a few years after me and has had 4 babies in 7 years. (I live in Lakewood and have less than that in ten- eleven years)

Kids who are severely affected by a sub for 6 weeks likely have their own challenges that can’t necessarily be resolved by a non pregnant teacher.

That is not true. Many special needs children thrive in routine. They need consistency to do well. A revolving door of teachers is detrimental to their education.

amother

↑ Cornsilk

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 12:24 am

amother OP wrote:

If you were referring to a specific school, don't make it sound like it applies to all teachers.
Accusing everyone who disagrees with you of being a teenager or a man, really takes the cake.

No on is twisting your words.
You've clearly had a bad experience somewhere, so you come and say that women who are not at their best shouldn't teach and that if we put more money into it, then it wouldn't be an issue.

People have tried to explain why that doesn't make sense but you can't seem to hear it.

If you're upset about what is going on in your child's school, it has become clear from this thread that you need to deal with this on a school-based level not a national or international level.

amother

Grape

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 10:45 am

imasinger wrote:

And that's where parents should come in, to help provide perspective, ease transitions, advocate with administration as needed, look for help for a kid who isn't doing well, and in general, offer a firm enough foundation in care that a child can weather the inevitable.

And, of course, make sure their children develop a great work ethic, so that if or when they ever become teachers, they aren't overly entitled.

How do you make sure your kids develop a great work ethic?

amother

Oatmeal

Thu, Nov 21 2024, 12:25 pm

Didn't read through the whole thread but feel compelled to reply.
I am 21. Expecting my second. And I teach your third grade sons in an in town Yeshiva.
I have been an assistant for three years in this classroom and this year I took over as the teacher. I have a masters in Ed and I believe that I am qualified.
It is really hard to teach 29 boys while pregnant (I am in my first trimester) but I will never ever let it out on the students. If I feel weak or nauseous, I will keep my lessons concise and have the students work in groups or partners to make things more exciting and give me a bit more leeway. But your sons aren't losing out on education, attention or anything else. If anything, it is my family because I expend so much energy in the afternoons that in the evenings I don't get anything done (and I am making parent phone calls to let you know how your son is doing). I spend lots of time preparing lessons that will accommodate me speaking less if necessary.
Young teachers have put in so much time and energy that older teachers cannot. We are outside playing with your sons during recess, cheering them on in the classroom and solving their arguments.
I really dislike when I am lumped with all other young teachers who supposedly aren't qualified, don't prepare, and can't control the classroom. Your children's teachers are heroes.