The kids suffer | Imamother

↑ Success10

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 8:21 am

amother OP wrote:

To those who are saying to make your kids tougher in order to handle it, a teacher is akin to a parent in a way. You wouldn't recommend to "toughen up" a kid whose parent was abusive or neglectful. The students look up to the teacher. She is older, wiser, and to be respected.

No one is excusing abusive behavior in teachers. If you are comparing to parents, Ima and Abba also go through things, financial stress, new babies, whatnot that also make them not perform their best at times. It is part of a normal healthy childhood.

↑ teachkids ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 8:29 am

amother OP wrote:

You started with complaining about distracted teachers or who don’t feel well. That’s 100% true of parents too.

You want teachers to be perfect so the parents don’t have to be. Sorry. We’re human too. And believe it or not we have a life outside school. And unless you’re paying us enough to have full time help, our families are going to have to come first.
I love my students, I put a lot into them. But the same way you take off if your kid is sick or when you have a baby, we do too.

amother

Black

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 8:37 am

What about parents who are having hard pregnant. Post partum. Marrying of kids. Making a bar mitzvah.
They aren’t 100% for their kids either.
It’s part of life.

But kids can be resilient if we teach them to be.
At least today we have teachers who want to be good.

I find 19 year old morahs put their heart and soul into their kids and lessons. They are more idealistic. Teach bec they want to because the pay is less than any other job. They don’t have a family at home to distract them. They don’t have kids at home so can be more invested in their students. (This is for actual teachers not assistants)

In my fathers generation the rebbeim were the ones so damaged by the Holocaust they had to become a rebbe. They chain smoked in class. Taught however they wanted with no methodology and beat the kids. They kids turned out successfully. Many of them rabbanim. Many of them successful business owners.

BH today we have much different teachers and our kids can thrive even if it isn’t all perfect. Just give them the support and love at home were they should be getting it.

amother

Steel ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 8:59 am

amother OP wrote:

We spend on clothing,simchas, cars etc..we can spend on better teachers

I am a teacher.

Yes, we can spend more on teachers so that we can hire more experienced teachers, or even human beings who would take the job over the office job that pays better, but what in the world would be a "BETTER TEACHER" in this context!?

A teacher who isn't distracted by
Her own Shidduchim
Pregnancy
Babies
Toddlers
Pregnancy
Babies
Health issues, her own or family member's
Toddlers
Pregnancy
Shalom bayis issues
Babies
Toddlers
Financial difficulties
Making bar mitzvahs
Her teen's angsts
Making bar mitzvahs
Her children's shidduchim
Financial difficulties
Making weddings
Her children's shidduchim
Shalom bayis issues
Financial difficulties
Health issues, her own or family member's
Grandchildren and their simchas
Caring for elderly parents

Yes I know I did some repeats, because things repeat!!!!

Which bubble-wrapped malach Hashem Tzevakos will be kind and caring and constantly focused enough to be entrusted with your child's education?

amother

↑ Steel ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:02 am

And now, on a calmer note-

In my school we have moros and teachers in every stage- from 19-65.
Those in shidduchim, the young mommies, the older mommies, the childless, the younger bubbies, the older bubbies- great-grandmothers!

The quality of morah has NOTHING to do with her age and stage.
It has to do with her personality, talent, commitment, and middos.

amother

↑ Sapphire ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:03 am

amother Steel wrote:

Nuns
I think op wants a vow of celibacy for all teachers.

amother

Oxfordblue

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:07 am

[quote="amother Black"]What about parents who are having hard pregnant. Post partum. Marrying of kids. Making a bar mitzvah.
They aren’t 100% for their kids either.
It’s part of life.

But kids can be resilient if we teach them to be.
At least today we have teachers who want to be good.

I find 19 year old morahs put their heart and soul into their kids and lessons. They are more idealistic. Teach bec they want to because the pay is less than any other job. They don’t have a family at home to distract them. They don’t have kids at home so can be more invested in their students. (This is for actual teachers not assistants)

In my fathers generation the rebbeim were the ones so damaged by the Holocaust they had to become a rebbe. They chain smoked in class. Taught however they wanted with no methodology and beat the kids. They kids turned out successfully. Many of them rabbanim. Many of them successful business owners.

BH today we have much different teachers and our kids can thrive even if it isn’t all perfect. Just give them the support and love at home were they should be getting it.[/quote]

Was just coming here to say this. Maybe we shouldn’t be getting pregnant because the pregnancy could affect the living children Rolling Eyes

Seriously op kids are way more resilient than you make them out to be.

amother

Forsythia

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:13 am

OP- bottom line is nobody cares.
Think of your kids teachers as glorified babysitters who teach a little math and Navi.
Parenting, love, emotional support, role modeling, nurturing…
All needs to come from you. Lower your expectations of what others provide. Nobody actually cares. It is a job.

I say this a former student myself and as the mother of school graduates. Like anything else, it is a job and a paycheck. They give your kid a math worksheet. They teach your kid how to do the math, the day is done. Same as for any job. If the aide in the nursing home changed your grandfather, and he is not sitting in a soiled diaper, she did her job. If your tax accountant took care of all your line items, the job is done. If the sales associate rang up the sweater that was already on the rack, the job is done.
The only person you can hold to a higher standard is yourself. If you give your job 110%, as opposed to 95 and coasting, Kol Hakavod. But that’s not the reality of the world we live in.

amother

Nectarine ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:14 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

Teaching is a job that no one understands until you’re actually doing it. You’re on every single last second of your job. There’s no spacing out there’s no going to the bathroom there’s no shutting down for ten seconds to think.

Most other jobs you can space out for five seconds or go to the bathroom when you want

A teacher is human if they are going through a trying time it probably will creep up in their performance and that’s just life

I mean, this is not really true. Of course a teacher can space out for 10 seconds while the class is doing a worksheet, doing quiet reading, in centers, practicing spelling words in teams, etc etc. Often they'll have an assistant who can keep an eye on the class if you need to step out for 30 seconds for whatever reason.

I'm not denying teaching is a job that requires a lot of focus and being on. But it's not like this impossible crazy job. (Speaking as someone who spent a lot of times in Nursery-3rd grade classrooms as an adult.)

amother

↑ Nectarine

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:16 am

imasinger wrote:

And that's where parents should come in, to help provide perspective, ease transitions, advocate with administration as needed, look for help for a kid who isn't doing well, and in general, offer a firm enough foundation in care that a child can weather the inevitable.

And, of course, make sure their children develop a great work ethic, so that if or when they ever become teachers, they aren't overly entitled.

I agree with this. Life will never be perfect, the best thing is to raise kids who can handle imperfection and less-than-ideal situations and flow with it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:18 am

Not malachim, but yes- teachers who are invested AND know what they are doing. Who are present and mature enough to realize the consequences of their actions.
I agree that they should be paid better. Since when is a teaching job ,with all the work it entails, worth less than an office job? They are dealing with our precious nesahmos. I fail to see why people are so flippant about it.
Obviously, they can have an "off" day here and there. But if ,lechatchila, they can't give it 90% at least, then,no, they should not be teaching.
I'm sorry if it comes across as if I don't value teachers or think they're human. Of course they are! There are some amazing teachers out there. But all too often, they're not giving it their all, and that is a chaval on the students- our kids.

↑ teachkids ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:20 am

amother Nectarine wrote:

You’re making assumptions. I don’t have an assistant. While my class is doing a worksheet, I’m working with the 3 students who didn’t gain anything from the whole class lesson. If they’re in centers, one of the centers is working with me. Quiet reading time- I’m probably working with the kid who still can’t read to try to help her catch up.

I have a 25 minute lunch break- that’s enough time to go to the bathroom, clean up from my morning class, set up for my afternoon class, make the copies the office made wrong, and maybe have 5 min to quickly eat lunch.

I love my job. I put a lot into it. I love my students. But it’s not an easy job. If you think it’s easy or think you can do better, I’m sure your child’s school will be happy to have you. You can probably even get a tuition discount out of it.

amother

Babypink ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:23 am

amother OP wrote:

Can I ask what you do for a living? And how much attention you give it every single day? If you think you can do better, I’m sure your kids school will be happy to have you.

Part of the problem is we have to sign on in March for the following year, and there’s no taking a leave of absence without getting a lot of flack for it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:24 am

amother Forsythia wrote:

This is very sad.
The world as a whole has lost compassion and empathy.
You are probably right.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:29 am

If some schools can have better teachers,more pay, better working conditions,dare I say smaller classes , then all schools can.
The bottom line is money. There are organizations collecting for everything under the sun.
Is this not a worthy cause?

amother

Diamond ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:32 am

Op you have very valid points.
Yes our children greatly loose out when morah is not feeling well, on maternity leave or in kalla lala land. It can be very hard for children to settle into the school year and adjust to a knew grade and teacher , rules and requirements and these distractions can cause a great educational and emotional set back. Even with the best substitute there is still change and upheaval. Maternity leave can be weeks lost . A morah who us a kalla sometimes has her head outside of the classroom all year.
There is no connection btw morahs and what's going on in their lives. Morahs are paid employees. Parents are paying for their children to be taken care of during the ours they are in school. It is a business arrangement.
Some morahs can juggle their private life and physical needs better than others. But when it overflows to the class it does affect out children.
Morahs may gashem give you lots of simchas, and tremendous koach. Hashem should make our children resilient to change and they should all thrive.

amother

↑ Steel ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:32 am

amother OP wrote:

Grrr.. Again, what are better teachers??
How do you ensure that the most dedicated moral won't be thrown a monkey wrench in life, which will distract her from her job?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:34 am

amother Babypink wrote:

I can't possibly take the salary that an 18 year old graduate would settle for.
I give my job my all while I'm doing it. I do get breaks and there is flexibility. And if the occasional mistake occurs, a little life is not at stake.

amother

Mustard ↓

Wed, Nov 20 2024, 9:41 am

Honestly, my kids for the most part have had amazing young teachers. Devoted. Dedicated.
I find that the 19 year old teachers have more work ethic, take off less time, are more focused even while dating, getting married, having babies comparable to their peers in offices.

My children's biggest damage comes from "the old guard". The teachers who can't be fired because the school feels obligated to support them, but they're not effective teachers. They don't relate to 2024, they're stuck in the old ways, they are constantly dealing with medical challenges.
I wish there was a way schools can pension with kavod