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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
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 Yesterday at 8:58 am
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I'm wondering if any mother's on here have this experience and what they have done to help this type of child. My son is six and has been rigid and struggles with emotional dysregulation since birth. We jokingly call him Dr. Jekle Mr Hyde because one minute he's giving a dvar Torah and the next someone says something he doesn't like and he's in hysterical. He likes time to himself doesn't like people invading his space has a less giving personality by nature. My other kids of the same gender are happy to help out - this one has a default button of no! He responds to consequences and rewards well and we place pretty serious limits and follow thru on his behavior. Otherwise he would probably be a monster. We have sought therapy for him in the past and bh it has been very helpful. Essentially it comes down to anxiety ( not necc causes by anything specific) and he had to learn had to calm himself down. He doesn't have an easygoing bone in his body. He seems to be pretty smart. As he gets older though I lose patience with his behavior and his challenges and begin to worry . Will he grow up to be one of those rigid inflexible selfish people ? How will he be in a relationship? How do you help children that are naturally like this?
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:12 am
These are all symptoms of a nervous system in fight-flight.
What helps is working on his nervous system to not be so aroused all the time.
How to do that depends on what's causing his nervous system arousal.
Chronic infections are a very common cause. There are others as well.
Even without pinpointing an exact cause, there are things you can do that will address the nervous system regardless of cause. Like craniosacral therapy, reflex integration therapy and vagus nerve stimulating therapies, exercising or devices.
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:13 am
My child is high anxiety. It was explained to me as a sensory issue, he’s always in fight or flight because his sensory processing is off.
Swimming
alternative medicine:
Cranial sacral therapy
The Listening program/Tomatis
All of these have made a slow and significant impact on my child
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amother
Darkblue
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Yesterday at 9:16 am
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Treat the anxiety better earlier than later
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amother
Plum
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Yesterday at 9:30 am
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I have a child like this and I am seeing significant improvement through OT. You need an OT that is trained in sensory regulation/ reflex integration.
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amother
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Yesterday at 2:25 pm
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I can totally see that's it's something to do with his system. It's like he's primed for a fight some days from the minute he opens his eyes. A good ot etc would probably work wonders. The problem is finding someone who actually gets results. I would pay for any type of therapy but I have a feeling I'm going to go through ten providers before I find one good one. Any suggestions?
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TCFrenk
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Yesterday at 3:13 pm
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Tell stories about being flexible. Praise him for being mature when he is even a bit flexible.
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amother
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Yesterday at 3:42 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I can totally see that's it's something to do with his system. It's like he's primed for a fight some days from the minute he opens his eyes. A good ot etc would probably work wonders. The problem is finding someone who actually gets results. I would pay for any type of therapy but I have a feeling I'm going to go through ten providers before I find one good one. Any suggestions? |
Where are you located? I would look for one certified in MNRI
You can also give supplements for anxiety.
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amother
Firebrick
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Yesterday at 3:52 pm
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Find a good child psychologist. And make sure they work with you as well to tell you how to react etc
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amother
Sienna
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Yesterday at 7:57 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I can totally see that's it's something to do with his system. It's like he's primed for a fight some days from the minute he opens his eyes. A good ot etc would probably work wonders. The problem is finding someone who actually gets results. I would pay for any type of therapy but I have a feeling I'm going to go through ten providers before I find one good one. Any suggestions? |
OT was a bandaid for me. Didn’t do me any good long term.
Did it for rigidity when my son was 3-4 he’s now 5 and same if mot worse ..
I know there’s a frum guy Friedman who’s a PSY-D in Baltimore
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marineparkmom
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Yesterday at 8:13 pm
How much does this cost?
| amother Candycane wrote: | https://www.tomatis.com/en/find-certified-professional
Only level 4
You meet them once, they program device and you play daily(and consistently) at home |
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amother
Orchid
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Yesterday at 9:12 pm
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Has he ever been evaluated?
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amother
Oleander
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Yesterday at 9:19 pm
Definitely could be sensory where his body misinterprets sensory signals to put him in a constant fight or flight mode.
Another option is decreased motor planning. Sometimes kids with motor planning challenges are super rigid about everything and very anxious because they are worried that if things don’t go their way, they may not be able to navigate the new situation they will find themselves in.
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amother
Cognac
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Yesterday at 9:50 pm
describes my child!
for those who have done OT. Does it help for the long term or only while undergoing treatment?
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amother
Fern
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Today at 1:13 am
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Wanted to chime in that a good ot will do wonders. I have a child who’s rigid… only started recently w an ot. Hopefully will see results.
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amother
Springgreen
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Today at 4:05 am
My son is EXACTLY the same. I did OT for about a year and half. We didn't see so much change. After that he went to a play therapist for about 8 months. There was slight improvement.
But I think what helped the most was what we did with him at home. I had a weekly session with a BCBA (for about 3 months- just me not my child) who explained how to calm his nervous system, how to react to his behavior, how to validate his anxiety etc.. until this day he his a more difficult child but the improvements that he made are night and day to what he was a few years ago bH. I feel like I gained the right tools to deal with him day in and out.
He also takes magnesium and a probiotic daily which I believe really helps.
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amother
Chicory
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Today at 5:08 am
| amother Springgreen wrote: | My son is EXACTLY the same. I did OT for about a year and half. We didn't see so much change. After that he went to a play therapist for about 8 months. There was slight improvement.
But I think what helped the most was what we did with him at home. I had a weekly session with a BCBA (for about 3 months- just me not my child) who explained how to calm his nervous system, how to react to his behavior, how to validate his anxiety etc.. until this day he his a more difficult child but the improvements that he made are night and day to what he was a few years ago bH. I feel like I gained the right tools to deal with him day in and out.
He also takes magnesium and a probiotic daily which I believe really helps. |
How did you find a bcba who worked just with you? Was it in person or virtual?
Would you share the person's contact?
Which specific magnesium and probiotic is he taking?
Thank you so much
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